Afraid to use public washrooms

[Michelledeanna1989]

So I've been full time for about a year.
Except I avoid public toilets.
I'm afraid to go out to pubs with friends
A female friend needs to go with me to
The washroom as I am extremely afraid of
Being kicked out or threatened by a guy there
Even though I know it's with in my rights in Canada
To use that toilet.  I try to find private gender neutral washrooms
When I can.  I don't pass yet.  It's caused problems where I've had
Issues let's say from not going anywhere or of fear.  I don't like using the men's
Toilets ether as I'm afraid of being threatened or beaten up
The bathroom issue is causing me a lot of anxiety,
I have managed to use the woman's washroom alone
But I never wash my hands as the sink area  i feel
More scared of.    Nothing I do seems to change those
Feelings.  I know Canada is not like the US and there's no
Laws I am breaking.  I'm going camping next weekend for May long weekend
For my 30th birthday.  My brother surprised me And Made the reservation this morning
I have stayed in the campground.  More then once and there's no outhouses the campsites
Are forested so the forest I guess is an option.  But the toilets are not as
They are public.  I am friends with the manager so perhaps I could just
Use his washroom in his staff house in the campground.  The last time I stayed there
Was right before I went full time.
It's just my brother and I at the  moment
So no females friends will be staying with us although I am
Afraid of this and it causes me anxiety just thinking about that issue
Washrooms are like my main deciding point on anything I do

[krobinson103]

I used to be like that. Its a fear you just need to face. If you are confident, go, do your business and leave no one is likely to challenge you.

[notaprofessionaljustapro]

So I've been full time for about a year.
Except I avoid public toilets.
I'm afraid to go out to pubs with friends
A female friend needs to go with me to
The washroom as I am extremely afraid of
Being kicked out or threatened by a guy there
Even though I know it's with in my rights in Canada
To use that toilet.  I try to find private gender neutral washrooms
When I can.  I don't pass yet.  It's caused problems where I've had
Issues let's say from not going anywhere or of fear.  I don't like using the men's
Toilets ether as I'm afraid of being threatened or beaten up
The bathroom issue is causing me a lot of anxiety,
I have managed to use the woman's washroom alone
But I never wash my hands as the sink area  i feel
More scared of.    Nothing I do seems to change those
Feelings.  I know Canada is not like the US and there's no
Laws I am breaking.  I'm going camping next weekend for May long weekend
For my 30th birthday.  My brother surprised me And Made the reservation this morning
I have stayed in the campground.  More then once and there's no outhouses the campsites
Are forested so the forest I guess is an option.  But the toilets are not as
They are public.  I am friends with the manager so perhaps I could just
Use his washroom in his staff house in the campground.  The last time I stayed there
Was right before I went full time.
It's just my brother and I at the  moment
So no females friends will be staying with us although I am
Afraid of this and it causes me anxiety just thinking about that issue
Washrooms are like my main deciding point on anything I do

Sorry to hear your struggle on this Man, I totally understand. I live in the Bible Belt of Tennessee. Even before I started HRT, I was male appearing and I have run into trouble.  I dont grow out my facial hair yet (its too thin still keep shaving it off) so Im still in the middle feeling right now. So I know what you mean.

People may confront you or treat you weird. This is going to be a thing in some sense at some point in your life. So the most important thing is your safety. There is a phone app for gender neutral bathrooms. Where you can find them marked by other ppl near by. I cannot recall it off the top of my mind, but it exists.

If you are at a place you go regularly, maybe if you spoke with the management there, and let them know, they could be more kind and let you know its okay, and if somebody confronts you, you can refer them to the management there. Ive done that before and it really really really has helped to have the establishment have your back.

I go out of my way to support LGBT places because they can do stuff like this.

[davina61]

Never had a problem but this is the UK, just front it out and walk in like you own the place!!

[Linde]

I tink most of us had to face this fear.  We all were at a point at which neither bathroom seemed to fit us.  I was so afraid that is topped drinking liquids prior to an outing, even normal shopping made me to dehydrate myself.
I finally overcome this fear and went into the female bathrooms, and nobody seemed to care!  One just has to build up confidence and it becomes just another trip to a bathroom!
Could your brother be your "bodyguard" when going to the bathrooms on the campground, and wait outside to help you if somebody tries to cause trouble?

[KathyLauren]

Nothing I do seems to change those Feelings.

Only one thing will deal with the fear: using the women's washroom.  If you don't, the fear will stay with you always.  The way past fear is forward through it.

Practise with a girl friend.  There are skills that you will need to learn, that an experienced woman can tell you about: smiling, making eye contact, talking, all stuff that is foreign to us until we start doing it.

[Michelledeanna1989]

Thanks lots to think about but I suppose
It's like when I got over my fear of Heights
By going zip lining.  I was extremely afraid the first
Couple on the course by the 3rd one I was hooked
Fear is never a good thing I live in an extremely left wing
Part of Canada.   All my female friends I've asked have said
It doesn't matter too then.  I actually used to work at a ski
Resort. It was always really busy I was a janitor and
Was cleaning the men's washroom this older man I guess really needed
To go.  He just said will screw it and went in the women's washroom.
I'm like um ok.  Pre transition. And was more like I guess he really needed to go
Another time I was in Mexico and was pre transition as well I used the women's washroom
By mistake no issues at all.  Except my friends who didn't know I was trans
Made a joke about it.  I think I will be ok