To be honest, a lot of my life experiences haven't been gendered. However, were I born male a few things would be very different.
firstly, i'd have been far more likely to have actually been diagnosed autistic as a child instead of being punished constantly for things I couldn't help and made to feel stupid and defective for the way my brain was wired.
I would have likely had far healthier relationships with people and my first female crush might maybe have actually reciprocated, but at the same time it's unlikely i'd have been such close friends with her (ALAS!) so maybe not.
I'd have gotten into more fights, but given the boys used to huck rocks at me anyway, not much really changes there. I'd have just been in more physical altercations because the only thing that stopped them physically hitting me was being I was "a girl".
I most probably would NOT have done ballet (I hated ballet though hah) but id' have still done drama and pottery.
My upbringing is unlikely to have been any different, I was raised extremely gender neutral anyway.
I might have worked out my sexuality earlier (I'm bi you see) or just surpressed my attraction to the same sex out of shame or fear. Hard to say.
I wouldn't have dated the same people I did date. I might have still been friends with them, but we wouldn't be a couple. So I wouldn't have the nearly 3 years with my first boyfriend who was so sweet and kind and good. I probably would have still ended up having a fling with Marc the sociopath though. Ahem.
My mental health would be better because I wouldn't have hit horrible precotious puberty at 10 and spent years feeling ashamed and dirty and wrong for it. I wouldn't have had to hide my breasts or had to endure YEARS of heavy excessive bleeding and cramps and agony, constant doctor appointments to find out WHY. It's very likely I also wouldn't have endured years of horribly painful UTIS and my poor innocent father wouldn't have been interrogated by social services the fourth time we ended up in A&E because I was peeing blood (my poor dad)
Utis are waaaaay more common in female anatomy.
i wouldn't have spent years on painkillers just to function because of the period pain and as a result I wouldn't have dropped out of my first year at university due to hormone related illness and the depression that came with it.
With that autism diagnosis and no hormonal health issues, I may very well have actually finished that degree.
I do regret dropping out but my body was just not letting me function at all. I was VERY sick.
I would likely have had the same friends, the same flatmates BUT C and I wouldn't have dated and he wouldn't have come to live with us. I don't know who we'd have lived with instead. Hmm. I might have been able to Woo J who I had an INSANE crush on but was rebuffed because she was straight lol. Oh dear beautiful J... *swoons* What can I say, I still think she's hot all these years later. *sigh*
I wouldn't have started dating my now husband (well it's unlikely anyway. We might still have flirted like crazy. He DOES like small furry men hahahah)
And because i'd be a guy, I wouldn't have my children which imo is the BIGGEST loss. One I couldn't handle. I won't live in a world without my crazy little babies. They're nuts but I love them and they were, when I really think about it, worth the years of awful just so they could exist.
An awful lot about what makes me ME wouldn't have changed, but my life would have taken a different path. I'd have different friends or be closer to some than others because of my gender. I might have ended up actually dating several of my female friends, or at least attempting to lol. Oh man, my childhood BFF would likely have never been my BFF and worse, as a result wouldn't have met one of her ex boyfriends who sent her life off in a certain direction either!
Some people wouldn't exist! and that's sad.
Conversely, had I been born a cisgender girl, a lot would have changed too. It's likely I wouldn't have been quite the same personality as I am as a result, and i'd have probably graduated and been very different but I find that honestly harder to imagine.
I suppose because the idea of me being a cisgender women is just SO wrong to my mind. I can't picture that person or what she might be like.
Would she have had the same interests? The same friends? Would she have been so awkward and had such trouble in female interactions? Would she have struggled with the hormonal disorder even worse because of the andrognising effects? How girly would she be? How much of my personality is shaped by my gender identity?
THAT I find a far larger challenge as a thought experiement. Who would I be if I were Cisgendered? I don't KNOW! Maybe I wouldn't even recognise her.
