Crossdressing as an escape

[Swanson777]

I am going through a major crisis in my life and I find that isolating and becoming a different person gives me stress-relief, kind of like a drug. But now its weird to keep switching genders and look in the mirror and not know wtf I am anymore. It's like I've hit some point of no return but this cute escape I've found is so at odds with reality and I don't know how to reach a point of acceptance and come out and try to live this brand new life, there's no financial resource or realistic way of living outside of my private room, which can back up a radically new lifestyle. My identity is kind of shattered

[sally0196]

Swanson,

If you are like I am, the stress-relief comes from allowing the other half of your personality to express herself.  Keeping her locked away generates a lot of stress.  It took me a long time to realize that I didn't really need to replace my male persona in favor of my female one.  It turned out that in my case, I actually enjoy both personas, so, now I express my feminine side regularly, but not full-time.  That works for me and makes me happy and fulfilled.

Perhaps, you can reach acceptance by embracing both sides of your personality.  Ultimately, you may feel it necessary to give in completely to your feminine persona, but I'd recommend taking the time to search for your true nature.  You might discover that living as a woman part-time satisfies your desires.  It might be a permanent solution in your case, or at the very least, it will keep you somewhat contented until your situation allows you to transition, if that is your real goal.  But remember, it is always okay to express your femininity on a part-time basis, and doing so, doesn't make any less of a woman.

All the best, hugs,

Sally   

[Swanson777]

Sure, I could always be a part-timer but its dissatisfying. I have a vibrant imagination, I've always been a bit of a drug addict always looking for that full-blown sensational escape and that's why transformation is so titillating and exciting to me.
I think it is intense sexual arousal but also expressing my emotions and getting warm and intimate with people are these hidden locked up needs where I'm totally deprived because of having to maintain the stoic, self-judgmental, facade of a man and it shows the most in how I relate to people, or lack thereof. So as a female I could potentially become a lot more social and inter-connected and the first time it's ever happening is here on this board as I write this.
I'e always been a loner and I barely talk to people if at all, I just don't know anyone maybe I can take it slow but maybe my future holds a revolution where I can become her completely and discover new lasting friendships in this community. Who knows! Maybe one day... I am only 32...

[sally0196]

Transition may be the way you need to go, but I'd still suggest you consider expressing your femininity now, while you are waiting for things in your life to align so you can transition.  Get a jump on feminine self-expression, learning how to interact with others.  Then, when you are ready to transition, you've already started mastering those female social skills.

When I let my inner woman out of the closet finally, it had a positive influence on my feminine persona, but surprisingly it also positively affected my male persona as well.  I became quite a bit more outgoing.

Hugs,

Sally   

[skirted]

Transition may be the way you need to go, but I'd still suggest you consider expressing your femininity now, while you are waiting for things in your life to align so you can transition.  Get a jump on feminine self-expression, learning how to interact with others.  Then, when you are ready to transition, you've already started mastering those female social skills.

When I let my inner woman out of the closet finally, it had a positive influence on my feminine persona, but surprisingly it also positively affected my male persona as well.  I became quite a bit more outgoing.

Hugs,

Sally

I too love letting my inter  women out, and going out in public as her. I too find it a great  way to do de stress 

[ramilove]

Sometimes an escape mechanism but mostly just a way to feel better from the release of oxytocin and accompanied endorphins. Combine cross-dressing and exercise if you want a ride on cloud nine.

[Dweia]

Well I had a burnout over 10 years ago and I have to admit that I used cross-dressing as an escape mechanism. I didn't knew what was going on.

First there was only a need to dressed up couple of times in a week, than daily immediately after I got home from work.
It didn't help much, then I wore female lingerie as male mode almost 24/7. For a while it worked and during summer holiday I thought everything was fine, although I had more time to think what is going on and why I cross-dressed.

After summer holiday, the company decided to do quite big organization changes and the stress came back. I left the company during December. The next spring was interesting time, I cross-dressed 24/7 to escape the reality of the situation i.e. burnout, unemployment etc.

I'm still on the path figuring out if I want to transition or not. Since the burnout, I realized that almost all of my life I have tried to fit in as a male to our society. During this time I've thought that I'm woman, but now more or less I think it doesn't feel right either. Currently I think I'm non-binary and I try to understand my feminine part of me. At least at the moment there is no urgent need to fully transition to woman.

It has been interesting journey to allow my inner woman to grow and let her take control of what kind of clothes to buy. Most of the time, shoes and jackets might be the only male things I use daily.

[Swanson777]

It fascinates me that the act of putting on a wig and female clothes triggers this psychological change in me, its a strange kind of rush but I can't get enough of it

[barbie]

It fascinates me that the act of putting on a wig and female clothes triggers this psychological change in me, its a strange kind of rush but I can't get enough of it

Yes. It is the same for me. I live in the dual modes: masculine when working vs. feminine when relaxing. I feel relaxed when I wear makeup and sexy fashion items. When I research and teach students or argue with other people, I tend to be very masculine. It is notable that my mood becomes very feminine after outdoor exercising. Switching between the two modes is not so much smooth.

barbie~~

[Lyric]

Well, the upside is you have something fun to do at home . As you reach a more mature level with this you may come to realize that you are not "switching genders", but are the same person all the time. That person may happen to just not be entirely masculine or feminine. It doesn't have to happen all at once. The most important part, though, is realizing that the superficial stuff doesn't matter as much as the inner stuff.

[Islandmed70]

It's truly my escape. When I dress and can be my middle self then I'm truly happy and it lets me get away from everything in the world that's bothering me.

[V M]

Hi Islandmed70 

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Hugs

V M

[Finding Lauren]

Lyric you are so right,

Inner development is so rewarding, so much more real.  The stress of maintaining a mask just makes you an angry shallow person.
Femininity is so much more social and comforting.  Let go to your feelings gently.  Don't make it a rush, a high, but a comforting sensitive home.


Lauren

[monica98]

I am glad you all had such a meaningful experience. I did some cross-dressing as cosplay but never actually tried it for real. Guess I definitely should. It would be interesting to see if there are some psychological effects or something. 

[Finding Lauren]

Monica,

Well yes the psychological effects are a strange sense of relaxation, contentment, and definitely a greater interest in feminine clothing ... now that it's a real possibility for you.  The quest for just the right summer top, or skirt begins to take some of your time, instead of devoting it to faking an interest in sports.  That reminds me spring cloths are coming out, and I need ... well I just need.


Lauren

[Sonja]

Swanson,

If you are like I am, the stress-relief comes from allowing the other half of your personality to express herself.  Keeping her locked away generates a lot of stress.  It took me a long time to realize that I didn't really need to replace my male persona in favor of my female one.  It turned out that in my case, I actually enjoy both personas, so, now I express my feminine side regularly, but not full-time.  That works for me and makes me happy and fulfilled.

Perhaps, you can reach acceptance by embracing both sides of your personality.  Ultimately, you may feel it necessary to give in completely to your feminine persona, but I'd recommend taking the time to search for your true nature.  You might discover that living as a woman part-time satisfies your desires.  It might be a permanent solution in your case, or at the very least, it will keep you somewhat contented until your situation allows you to transition, if that is your real goal.  But remember, it is always okay to express your femininity on a part-time basis, and doing so, doesn't make any less of a woman.

All the best, hugs,

Sally

Excellent advice, never try to force more than what is there inside of you. Only that way can you know who you really are.

Take care,

Sonja.