I Feel More Lost Than I Should

[SaraJason]

Hello everyone! Would you believe I've been searching for an active forum of this sort for about 4 hours, and it is now 1am? I guess by way of introduction, I should maybe explain why?

I'd say I'm actually pretty comfortable with my identity, which I tend to describe as nonbinary, pansexual, and nonmonogomous. I'm not very comfortable with my body or my presentation. While there is a rare occasion that I'll get femme and dolled up, for quite some time now, I've desired to present more masculine, but I have no idea how. I do know I feel better wearing a binder. But my tiny self can't shop in the men's section....

I need to find my tribe, but after many years of being basically a hermit, I have no idea how to do that.

So that's why I'm here for me. But I'm also here for love...

About three weeks ago, my nonbinary lover threw herself head first into social transition. When she finally admitted it to me, after seemingly trying to play it off as kink at first, it was like I fell in love with her all over again. She's happier than I've ever seen. She positively radiates! Watching her become so much more confident in herself has brought me such joy.

Obviously, I'm no stranger to the concepts, and I've always been a huge supporter of the LGBTQ+community and an ally. But I don't really have anyone to talk to about any of it, except her. But right now, she needs my support and focus, and not my weird crazy thoughts, like why do I feel like a clumsy ->-bleeped-<-? She loves me, she trusts me, she shows me so much appreciation. It's not like I'm a clueless idiot. But it is a new situation for me, and I'm a little lost.

Looking forward to reading other's stories and hopefully gaining some insight.

[christinej78]

Hello everyone! Would you believe I've been searching for an active forum of this sort for about 4 hours, and it is now 1am? I guess by way of introduction, I should maybe explain why?

I'd say I'm actually pretty comfortable with my identity, which I tend to describe as nonbinary, pansexual, and nonmonogomous. I'm not very comfortable with my body or my presentation. While there is a rare occasion that I'll get femme and dolled up, for quite some time now, I've desired to present more masculine, but I have no idea how. I do know I feel better wearing a binder. But my tiny self can't shop in the men's section....

I need to find my tribe, but after many years of being basically a hermit, I have no idea how to do that.

So that's why I'm here for me. But I'm also here for love...

About three weeks ago, my nonbinary lover threw herself head first into social transition. When she finally admitted it to me, after seemingly trying to play it off as kink at first, it was like I fell in love with her all over again. She's happier than I've ever seen. She positively radiates! Watching her become so much more confident in herself has brought me such joy.

Obviously, I'm no stranger to the concepts, and I've always been a huge supporter of the LGBTQ+community and an ally. But I don't really have anyone to talk to about any of it, except her. But right now, she needs my support and focus, and not my weird crazy thoughts, like why do I feel like a clumsy ->-bleeped-<-? She loves me, she trusts me, she shows me so much appreciation. It's not like I'm a clueless idiot. But it is a new situation for me, and I'm a little lost.

Looking forward to reading other's stories and hopefully gaining some insight.

Hi SaraJason                      14 April 2019

Welcome to Susan's Place. I'm the "Good Humor Lady" teller of lousy jokes.

The official "Welcome Wagon Folk" will show up and provide you with a lot of valuable information. You came to a great place with lots of nice and knowledgeable folks that can help you if you need or want it.

Take care and enjoy the site.

Best Always, Love
Christine

[LizK]

Dear SaraJason

Welcome to Susan's. I hope you enjoy your time here.


Glad you found us in the myriad of stuff available on the internet. It is nice to see you in such a positive relationship and I hope you find the information here valuable. We have a large FTM presence on the board and I am sure some of the fellas will be only to happy to help you out

So you are able to get the very best from being here there are a couple of links we give to all our new members

Regards

Liz

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[V M]

Hi SaraJason 

Welcome to Susan's Place    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

[Jessica]

Hi SaraJason, welcome to Susan's Place!  My relationship is similar to yours as I am non-binary or gender fluid and my wife is the more masculine partner.  She is recognizing this clearer through having to deal with the issues that she has with my transitioning.  We have been married 38 years now and have been open with each other since we met.  She was the one that clued me into our medical coverage now includes gender issues.  Hopefully we both get to the point that you have reached.

Hugs! Jessica

[SaraJason]

Hopefully we both get to the point that you have reached.

Hugs! Jessica

Thanks, Jessica! Though it's a little odd, and again, I kinda feel like an ->-bleeped-<-. This isn't exactly a point we reached, so much as square one. I've done nothing but what comes naturally. She's just so easy to love. And yet, she expresses so much appreciation, it makes me uncomfortable. I mean, why is she thanking me for being myself? Was I supposed to react badly? I can't even imagine doing so!

No, my problems relevant to the situation are, selfishly, mostly about me. Oh, and the fact that trying to find a localtrans friendly tailor /seemstress for her is unexpectedly hard!

Thanks muchly, everyone fit the warm welcome, and the many personal stories that have already helped me feel a lot more "normal"

~SJ/JS

[HappyMoni]

Hi SaraJason,
   Welcome to Susan's, my name is Moni (like Bonnie). Glad you are here. I will say that I am pretty binary myself, but fairly friendly. Oh, and definitely not normal. But yes, I do hope you feel comfortable here. It is nice to talk things out with people who 'get it.' Leave your inner hermit behind and contribute. You'll fit right in.

[Bea1968]

Welcome,

Talking is the best way to find that you are not quite as lost as you feel.  I am confident that most people here feel lost at times.  We are all here to help and be helped.   The only need not filled is one not shared.   Best wishes.

Bea