separate post about my current profile photo, which I'll include here for context since, hopefully, it will change some day soon.
There are many days that I feel unwanted, unattractive, undesired, which add up to (amongst other things) feeling worthless. No these are not positive constructive thoughts, as pointed out by a certain concerned (and caring) forum member, yet they can be. Say wha..? Sometimes I use a more negative connotation as a step and goad to improve myself. I have to see where I am in order to push myself to where I need to be. I feel that it's always a good thing, especially on a support form, to let those around you know how you feel in a given moment. How can they lend support, even if only verbally, if they don't know that you're hurting? In my mind, the worst thing that I can do is stay silent, which I am wont to do when things get real bad.
Is that sound thinking, probably not since I was the one who thought them (likely not the first person either) still, they are my thoughts and that's one of the things that we are all here for - sharing our thoughts.
I've been known to 'lash out' or redirect my negative feelings on to others. I end up alienating them and they keep their distance. That distancing hurts them yet mostly it hurts me. I've done it here on the forums. .. I miss those with whom I've do this to yet I can't take it back. Sorry is not a fix-all. That's something that I've tried to teach my children and
now my grandchildren. Saying that you're sorry only expresses your acknowledgement of your error, it does not fix things. Better to not have a reason to say that you're sorry. Yet, we're human, we screw up, then we have to deal with the consequences.
Apologies are a necessary first step in bridging a gap created by you. After that, it's up to them to reach out. So, here it is .... I'm sorry.
Have a glorious day everyone
Faith
