Thank you for the kind and insightful replies! Things have improved in surprising ways since I last reported in.
First, and most surprising of all, I got an email Tuesday afternoon from D - formally inviting me to her Bunco get-together! This was a bit of a shock, of course, and since I'd be seeing her later that evening, I sent her a text that I'd like to talk for a few minutes then. As you may recall, once she'd told me the reason for excluding me in the first place, I'd decided it wasn't in anyones interest to have me there. But we'd talk about that later.
That night was our monthly flying club meeting. The restaurant we have our meetings in had changed hands, so there was all new staff. I had long ago given up toning down my presentation for the members of the club - I've been out to them for nearly a year, so they should be used to seeing their female president presenting 100% as herself by now. Other than a couple of inadvertent misgendering incidents from one member sitting across from me the evening went smoothly. The few members who have never met the old me weren't there, and the waitress didn't hear, so no big deal. I asked her to please be careful, and outlined the pronouns she should be using, and she embarrassingly apologized and promised to do better.
After the meeting I went aside with D to talk about her invitation. I told her that after her explanation I was a bit apprehensive about accepting. She said that she'd been thinking and praying a lot about it, and came to the conclusion that it would all be fine, and she really wanted me to come. I told her what my plan would be if things got uncomfortable, and finally decided to give it a try. Now that the decision is made, I'm excited to see how I fit in with all the other women. I have no plans to out myself, so it should be an ultimate test of passing. I've read up on the rules of Bunco, and there is an immense amount of social interaction with many different people, so it's a bit outside the comfort zone of this old introvert, but if I can do it, it could be another big step forward out of my shell. The first one is on September 28th.
In other news:
I had a Skype consultation with the hair transplant specialist at FacialTeam on Tuesday morning. It went well until someone started up a jackhammer right next to where he was sitting outside in the beautiful Spanish coast weather. But I did learn that while the transplants are great for filling in the receding areas, adding transplants to areas where there is already existing growth - in an attempt to increase density - will kill the hair already there. He suggested other ways to increase density, including continuing the finasteride and minoxidil I'm already using (with a possible shift to dutasteride later), platelet rich plasma (PRP), scalp massage, and laser treatments. He uses the FUT "strip" method, so he demonstrated exercises to do to stretch the scalp and increase elasticity of the donor area. The more the scalp can be stretched, the larger the donor strip that can be removed, and the more follicles that can be harvested. He also sent me a drawing showing where he would be implanting the follicles.
On Wednesday I had yet another Skype consultation with a cosmetic surgeon not associated with FacialTeam, but with whom they work a lot. He uses their facilities often for his procedures. He again confirmed what I'd already been told: face lift, neck lift, removing fat from my jowls, and adding a little fat to my cheeks, lips, and possibly the point of my chin. Relatively minor stuff - just what any woman my age would need. Despite warnings from FacialTeam that those procedures would have to wait six months after theirs, he thought it would be no problem doing them while I was already there. He'll be checking and letting me know. It would be awesome to get it all done in one trip and move on with my life. We'll see. At this point I'm waiting for his quote.
Ready for the consultation!
I've mentioned my aging dog here a few times. Maggie is going on 15 years old, and I was starting to worry that she was getting thin. She has a ongoing problem with her anal glands, so I took her in to the vet a few weeks ago to get them expressed, and when they weighed her I found that she was down almost eight pounds from the 35 pounds that she's consistently weighed for most of her life. So I set up an appointment for her to see if there was anything seriously wrong, and Sue and I took her in today. While I was of course myself when I took her in two weeks ago, I didn't have any interaction with anyone but the lady at the front desk. Today I was not only going to have a prolonged appointment with a technician and a doctor, but Sue was also along. I had originally planned to go alone, and when she asked to go, too, I got a little anxious, for two reasons. First, I'm still trying to get a handle on how to present our relationship as two women. Second, I'm still fighting to get over my extreme self-consciousness around her about using my voice. This is a roadblock I'm having a very hard time getting around. In any case, I got myself looking good in a casual way, loaded Maggie into the RocketSkate, and blasted off to the vet.
Ready to Rocket off to the vet.
We talked in-depth with the tech, who I hadn't met before, she gave Maggie a good once-over, then a doctor I've never seen before came in. It was decided that she was actually the Fairy Godmother from Shrek. That's who she looked like. She was pretty cool though, and decided to do a chest x-ray and blood and stool tests. While I was holding Maggie on the counter, the technician was at her head saying soothing things, and I heard, "Don't worry, if you jump out of your mama's arms, I'll catch you before you hit the floor." We were literally inches from each other, sometimes touching, and she had no idea. Squeeee!!
The tests all came back negative, and the doctor was quite pleased with the results, which was a huge relief. I had a hard time holding back tears. She gave recommendations for changing her diet, and when I went up to pay the lady said "Thank you ma'am" when I handed over my credit card. Apparently my presentation and voice was good enough, and between the way I was treated and Maggie's diagnosis, I was a pretty happy camper.
My Maggie.
When I got home I changed into my working clothes, put on my cute straw sunhat, and mowed the yard. When I was done I got a shower, then again indulged my dream of lounging in a sundress for the evening. I have had another one for a very long time, but was terrified to wear it because I was sure that the thin straps would never work with my wide shoulders. But I figured nobody was going to see me, so why not try? And, well... OMG. I'll let you be the final judge, but when I sent her a picture,
@SassyCassie sent me a video clip of her saying "Oh, WOW!"
Strappy sundress.
There have been other things going on the last couple of days that aren't so happy, but this isn't the place to discuss them. But as
@Alaskan Danielle pointed out, that's life, and generally speaking, it's been a reasonably good couple of days. I hope yours has been good, too. Here's a toast to all my friends on Susan's.
Cheers!
Stephanie
