Good afternoon, MySaures!
Hi! I'm in California, too. But luckily I don't have this problem. My docs are GREAT about this stuff.
You have raised this problem with various staff folks at the office, but to no avail. My first suggestion is this: Write a letter directly to the doctor himself/herself, asking to correct the problem with the staff. The doc may not know this problem exists and he/she is in a position of authority to correct his/her subordinates. Maybe that will solve the problem. If not . . .
California medical practitioners are regulated by a California state agency, the Medical Board of California (MBC). The Board has a complaint process you can access here:
http://www.mbc.ca.gov/Consumers/Complaints/Complaints must be in writing, and they can be filed by mail, by fax, or online. The link above contains a button you can click to initiate the online complaint filing process.
While lots of complaints to the MBC involve really dangerous issues regarding practitioners (like sexual abuse, drug or alcohol impaired practice, or practice by unqualified/unlicensed practitioners), there is one area of complaint that seems to fit your problem:
"•Office Practice Issues (e.g., failure to provide medical records to patient, failure to sign death certificate, patient abandonment)"
So you might want to file an "office practice issue" complaint with MBC regarding your doctor's recordkeeping problems. In general, medical practitioners in California are alert and sophisticated regarding trans issues compared to those in other states. I'm sorry that you are dealing with a throwback.
I can readily sympathize with the point Maid Marion raises. Who needs this? Your healthcare is supposed to make you feel BETTER, not WORSE! Your doctor and his/her support staff should be alert to your needs and treat you with respect. Unless you are - for some reason - highly attached to this doctor, you might want to explore alternatives. (By the way, if you DO change doctors, your former doctor's office is obligated by law to release all of your medical records to your NEW doctor, to make sure that the new doc has access to all the info he/she needs to address your health needs.)
Even if you do end up changing doctors, I suggest sending a letter to your doc explaining your decision and filing an MBC office practice complaint on the way out. That way, your doc is on notice of the problem. Hopefully he/she can correct this issue so it doesn't cause the same problem with future trans patients.