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I think I'm done - Everyone knows (My take away)

Started by KristySims, May 22, 2019, 12:52:21 PM

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I'm sitting here at work on my lunch break and I just fired off the last of my "letters" and I'm thinking who else needs to know and I'm drawing a blank....

I thought maybe this is it.... and the verdict and how I did it....

I think this post is really for my own little diary, but if it helps another trans sister or brother then even better.  I have posted before that I am here today having done what I thought was going to be the hardest thing in my life, yet it wasn't...  not even close! 

I owe the biggest gratitude to the men and women before me that have paved the way, educated the masses and have made people stop and think. I thank every trans person that faced ridicule, harassment and put themselves in harms way to be who they were and set in motion the way society is turning.

The process of coming out to the world has been nothing short of amazingly positive. I work and live in Ohio and for a large company. I work at a location that has about 400 people and know of at least 5 (FIVE!) other brothers and sisters that work here and are open about it. This alone has me questioning the low statistics.  I was worried so much that I was an anxious emotional wreck the first 10 people I talked to.  I invited them over, had dinner or took them out.  It took 2-4 hours of talking and it was an emotional rollercoaster. Almost every one of them thought I was dying or had cancer...  I had to think of a better way.  So what I did was I wrote a letter (2 actually) and single page that I meant for co-workers and a 4 pager single spaced with pictures on the 4th page of me (Looking like any other normal woman) I created a PDF and I printed about 50 copies...On nice paper in full color and I hand delivered, or invited people over to hand this to them after the dinner or whatever I told them to come over for)  My other friends and relatives I mailed them to (Leaving a copy of my FB and email address if they wanted to reach out to me)  It took them about 4-5 minutes to read but I also put my heart and soul into it. For the folks in person, I would be there to answer any questions, but bar none, there were a LOT less tears and emotion and each one was 100% positive.  Every person I mailed to and emailed to reached out with congratulations and support.  I only had 5 people after my 30 day coming out period that have not contacted me back.  The same deal with the co-workers, except I ended up giving them both my long and sort letter and telling them that after 4 years of working there, I considered them friends and would like to give them both letters.  I now have twice as many facebook friends and they ALL are closer to me.

So for those who are worrying themselves to death, I just want to tell you that it may not all be that bad. Sure you may have some non-supportive people, but I was shocked! 

If anyone would like to read a copy of my letters, PM me I would not mind sharing at all

Northern Star Girl

Dear Kristy:
You are right on with your accessmwnt and conclusion regarding "coming out"   

Looking back, we many times are amazed that our biggest fears were never realized and that finally coming out is like a big heavy weight is lifted off of our shoulders and our life.   

With that taken care of, we can then live more freely without worrying about our past secrets.

Thank you for sharing.   You "done good" !!! :)
HUGS and best wishes as always,
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That is so cool to hear!   I am so happy for you.


Oh Kristy, I love reading posts like this! I'm reminded of my own anxieties over coming out two years ago, and how it ended up being a non-issue in the end.

At my very first therapy session my therapist mimed a scale from one to ten in the air. She told me to imagine my level of fear and how bad I thought the process would be, and set it to ten. Then she reached up and moved the marker to four, and told me that's what I should really expect.

She was wrong. It was more like two. I'm so happy yours went as well. Now you are one that those following will thank.


- Stephanie

Assigned male at birth 1958 * Began envying sister 1963 * Knew unquestioningly that I was female 1968 * Acted the male part for 50 years * Meltdown and first therapist session May 2017 * Began HRT 6/21/17 * Out to the world 10/13/17 * Name Change 12/7/2017 (Girl Harbor Day) * FFS With FacialTeam 12/4/2018 * Facelift and Lipo Body Sculpting at Ocean Clinic 6/13-14/2019 * GCS with Marci Bowers 9/25/2019


Kristy, congratulations on completing your coming out process!

Your experience was very similar to mine.  I fretted and worried, and even had started on an escape plan should everything go south on me.  As it turned out, I had no negative responses at all.  There was some frostiness from one or two people, but they came around and are accepting after learning that I don't have horns and a forked tail.

Before I came out on Facebook, I had 47 FB friends.  I wondered how many of them I would lose.  I didn't lose a single one, and now I am up to 142.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate


Congratulations Kristy, That's awesome news and I'm glad to hear it went well for you.

You must h a very done a really good job on your preparation which made it go so much smoother.

I'm curious as to if you presented yourself as the new you prior to the letter (clothes, makeup, earrings, nails,etc)?

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Started HRT 1/3/2019



Actually I am still presenting as male.. although a bit androgynous.. so long hair, nails (not painted) more fitted clothing.  I told them I would have voice surgery in July then in 6 months my FFS and I would be back as the real me. So in the meantime they can call me by my dead name or Kris. I think having them know about the ffs surgery after the voice surgery most everyone is going through it with me together. Rather than a lights off change and lights on.

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