My dad,Tyler and Tristan played a horrible joke on me a few months ago! Of course Tyler was the mastermind and the other 2 helped him. One reason I believed it so easily is because though my dad has an ok sense of humor, for a dad anyway, he does not engage in practical jokes. He does't like them or play them. So when my dad started outlining a nightmare for me and did it so seriously, I believed him. My dad and Tyler love watching life below zero, the last Alaskans and other silly homestead shows. Then one week we started getting weird booklets and pamphlets. Buying land in Alaska, a catalog of snow mobiles and equipment, etc. I always put them on the table with the other mail and they were always gone the next day. It's not unusual for my dad to order catalogs or information concerning things that interest him.Then one day a catalog came for hunting equipment and guns, ammunition and hunting knives. That threw me. Tyler would never hunt. He is like me in that to see any animal suffering, in pain or dying just rips his heart out. Tyler is absolutely not one to cry. But the few times I have seen him cry it's been over one of our pets dying. Which only left my dad who would NEVER pick up a hunting rifle after a horrible childhood experience. When my dad was 14 my grandpa forced him to go hunting with he and some of his friends. My dad had told that fool he absolutely would not kill anything. Eventually they spotted a dear. My grandpa told my dad to take the rifle and make a clean shot, then the deer would die instantly and painlessly. OR they could do it the hard way. My dad said he would absolutely not kill that dear. My grandpa said fine, the hard way then. He shot the dear but he didn't kill it just badly wounded it. He did that on purpose. He told my dad he could let it suffer or slit it's throat and end it's pain. He then threw a hunting knife at my dad's feet and he and his friends all walked away and left him with that wounded deer. My dad did kill it. He said it was making a screaming like noise. He killed it as fast as possible. He didn't want to but he said it was in a lot of pain and suffering.
So anyway I figured the hunting catalog had to be some mistake and just as I was about to throw it out I happened to see the mailing label. It was addressed to Tristan. When he got home from work I asked him why he got a hunting catalog and I reminded him he told me he didn't hunt. He said no, he said he didn't hunt ANYMORE but that he and his brothers hunted a lot back in Australia and he knew how to hunt and was good at it.I said SO WHAT? I told him that was irrelevant now. He said actually hunting was a good skill to have and he might need it sometime.I told him Whatever and then told him if he hunted again and killed an animal it would cause serious damage to our relationship. And a couple of times I walked into a room and I clearly heard my name, then whispering. Then as soon as I entered the room they stopped.ok, I figured guys had their secret boy talk. Then one evening when I got home from work my dad said he needed to talk to me. Tyler and tristan were in the family room with him. I asked if anything was wrong and my dad said "no pumpkin, nothing's wrong". Then he said " well I suppose it's how you look at actually". That got me worried. Then my Dad said he was just going to spit it out. He said he wanted us to move to Alaska. I asked him for god sake why?? He said he wanted a change. I said Colorado was cold enough, why would he want to go someplace that is always cold and has that awful thing where it's 24 hours of sunlight for however months.😖 I asked him if he intended to be an Alaskan trouper or something and what city did he have in mind. He said no city, he wanted to do homesteading. I was just in shock!
I told him if that was really what he wanted then ok. Then Tyler said he was going with him. I was already very upset about my dad going and then Tyler saying that made it worse and I started crying.
Tyler asked me why I was crying and I said because I would miss them so much. My dad said " No you won't pumpkin, you will be with us" wait, what?
It must of been weird hearing a sob stop so abruptly and instantly. I told my dad I was sorry but I wasn't going. I told him I would stay here with Tristan. Then Tristan says "but I'm going with them love" I asked him if he had lost his mind and why he would even consider such a thing. He told me he couldn't let my dad and Tyler go alone, they can't hunt or slaughter animals and they would starve to death. I was in a full panic now. I asked my dad how long it would take to build the house and get the electric and plumbing in. I reminded him Tristan and I needed our own bathroom. Then I told him it was going to cost a fortune to ship everything to Alaska. He said we would just sell all our stuff and then buy what we needed when we got there. I told him that wouldn't work and I seriously doubted Alaska had any designer or art deco furniture stores and I doubted they had a decent electronics store and there probably wasn't a 75 inch flatscreen to be found in the entire state. They all looked at each other and my Dad said "pumpkin we don't need any thing electric. There won't be any electricity.
I had started telling myself that this might not be so horrible and then this.I asked him how would we stay warm, how would I cook and I couldn't use my phone or devices with no electric. My dad told me we would use firewood to heat the house. Then he reminded me that there was no cell service or wi fi for miles up there. Then Tristan told me I could learn to cook on a woodstove. I told him that was ridiculous , that a wooden stove would catch on fire and burn the whole place down. Tyler started laughing and Tristan explained a wood stove was actually metal and It burned wood as fuel. So then I asked how we would heat the water for baths. My dad said there wouldn't be inside plumbing. He said we would use an out house. OMG!!🤯 So I asked if I was supposed to heat water every time I took a bath. He said that actually most people who live on homesteads don't bathe much at all in winter. OMG! skeeze alert! That was the last straw. I told Tristan if was going with them fine. I would stay here and find another boyfriend and he could romance the native eskimo girls. I went up stairs to my room. I sat there wondering how something like this could even happen to me. I try to be a nice person, why this utter horror?? I kept switching from absolute fury to crying. I would be totally pissed off and then think of out houses and not bathing and I would start crying again. After about 10 minutes they all came in my room and told me it was all a practical joke. Tyler and Tristan were laughing hard. My dad was trying not to laugh. I said " go ahead and laugh dad. I see you want to." I should have been totally furious with them. But I was so overjoyed it had been just a joke I wasn't very mad.
That is exactly what I mean about Tyler really planning out his jokes. This one was excellent. Even if I am the victim of a practical joke, I can give credit if it was very good. Of course without my Dad helping with this one I would never have fallen for it. I tend to be suspicious of Tyler to a degree after all his jokes so he knows he has to use differen't methods on me for it too work.
