Hi all,
I blew in here in January, about two months after coming out to my parents as a transwoman. January was when I was beginning to move out of the bottom of the intense low of revealing my deepest secret and insecurity and having it embraced by some and trampled on, mocked, and turned against me by a few close to me in initial panic and shock.
Since I've seen a gender therapist, and my family has settled down. I'm out to most of the undergrads in my small major, will start to experiment with coming out to some at my beloved research job with a government agency this summer, and my parents are generally more accepting once they got past the initial shock and denial, although they're still adjusting.
I've also started to present out in public on occasion. With make up covering the male roughness of my face, my slender build and neutral height, mostly trained voice, and baby face, I generally get the vibe that I don't fully pass but that I don't stick out really badly when presenting femme. It's a bit of a confidence boost. If I get a better passing make up routine, keep grew out my hair, and especially after some time on HRT, I probably could look equally as cute as a woman.
Initially I was reluctant to hold out on transitioning due to the rocky situation with my folks, and newness to the situation. My gender therapist is happy to keep exploring, and lets me self guide, but at this point I see the next logical step as HRT. With sperm freezing being inexpensive and finding spaces that love and embrace me, my main reservations for hormonal and social transitions are reasonably addressed.
At this point I feel like I'm going around in circles except now more calmly and in peace, and am increasingly certain that I should start pressing the buttons at this point. Soon I'll hit a new birthday (23), for once one where I know I'm not passing on the burden of that secret, but still know I'm virilizing. I've called an endo for a consult, and want to seriously talk about freezing.
What do you all think or have to say? Thoughts, anecdotes, suggestions? 🙂💕♀️
