MTF in need of help (3), a fresh start

[LoriDee]

I was reading an article earlier and it made me think of your "discovery" of your relationships with men and women. I thought the article explained it really well so I understand. I am not saying this is you. It explained how varied the spectrum is between gender preference and sexual attraction.

If you want to check it out:

What, exactly, is a heteroromantic bisexual?

Hugs!

[Rachel]

@LoriDee, thank for the link to the article. It is definitely thought provoking. I can only be in a romantic relationship with a woman. Until I was at a party and three woman strapped me I, I just had sex with men. I remember the three females names and the experience which was incredible. The men do not do it for me. In reality that sex is a blur. There are specific things I really do not like and I never will. 

Rose is lesbian and I never had a relationship with a lesbian. I know it is a label. I wonder if there are other differences. I have been thinking about this for a while. Rose is romantic, loving and welcoming. She is very sexy and beautiful. She, I believe from what she wrote several time is religious. I have not asked about that. My 4 grandparents were 3 different religions. So I have a different perspective about organized religion. God on the other hand, I just recently do not blame for 3 really difficult things in my life to deal with.

Life is really interesting.   

[Oldandcreaky]

Fingers crossed that your docs can purge the leukemia.

And fingers crossed that Pam and you end up wherever you wish.

[Courtney G]

Wow, 50 pushups! I don't even think I can do 10 after 27 months of HRT, more like 5 or 6. But I find this affirming, not having to be strong.

[Rachel]

@Oldandcreaky, thank you to the good thoughts. T-LGL has no cure and there is no standard of care. Usually the chemo methotrexate is prescribed. I am PH+ (99.6% of those with CML and 30% of AML are PH+) with T315I gene mutation. So gen 1 and 2 chemo will not work. Gen 3 chemo will work but it is with pretty unpleasant side effects. I do not know if I can be compliant.

The Onco doctor wants to see in the PH+ clonality goes up or down Aug 13. It take about a month for the clonality labs to come in. Who knows, maybe the clonality will go down and the white cells count will be down.

@cortney G, I have not started the old step, squats and pushup routine. Part of me wants to but part of me does not want to know.

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Rose, Her name is Amanda (first) Rose (middle) name. Her Vietnamese first name is Binh which means peaceful.  She is really a beautiful person. I think of her all the time.

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I have been good and have been party free. The reality is that sex is just sex but sex with someone you love, respect and trust is a void filler. It is love. In order to love you need to let someone in. Which means you can get hurt.
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Now for something completely different.

I have 2 sleeves and and other tattoos. I had the outline done on my back and butt for a 9 tailed fox Japanese style tattoo. The outline was an experience in pain.

There were 4 females and 1 male getting tattooed yesterday. Females get more tattoos than males. 68% of LGBT are tattooed. There were 3 LGBT females getting tattoos yesterday. 2 of the 5 tattoo artists were female and were very heavily tattooed.
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So if I did not have 2 leukemia's I would not have gotten the GT500 and I would not have gotten 2 sleeves and a back butt tattoo. Life is short, have fun and U B U.