Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

MTF in need of help (3), a fresh start

Started by Rachel, January 03, 2024, 03:36:30 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

LoriDee

I was reading an article earlier and it made me think of your "discovery" of your relationships with men and women. I thought the article explained it really well so I understand. I am not saying this is you. It explained how varied the spectrum is between gender preference and sexual attraction.

If you want to check it out:

What, exactly, is a heteroromantic bisexual?

Hugs!
My Life is Based on a True Story.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247442.0.html

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.


2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - Legal Name Change / 2024 - Voice Training
  • skype:.?call
  •  

Rachel

@LoriDee, thank for the link to the article. It is definitely thought provoking. I can only be in a romantic relationship with a woman. Until I was at a party and three woman strapped me I, I just had sex with men. I remember the three females names and the experience which was incredible. The men do not do it for me. In reality that sex is a blur. There are specific things I really do not like and I never will. 

Rose is lesbian and I never had a relationship with a lesbian. I know it is a label. I wonder if there are other differences. I have been thinking about this for a while. Rose is romantic, loving and welcoming. She is very sexy and beautiful. She, I believe from what she wrote several time is religious. I have not asked about that. My 4 grandparents were 3 different religions. So I have a different perspective about organized religion. God on the other hand, I just recently do not blame for 3 really difficult things in my life to deal with.

Life is really interesting.   
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: LoriDee, Sarah B

Oldandcreaky

Fingers crossed that your docs can purge the leukemia.

And fingers crossed that Pam and you end up wherever you wish.
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: Sarah B

Courtney G

Wow, 50 pushups! I don't even think I can do 10 after 27 months of HRT, more like 5 or 6. But I find this affirming, not having to be strong.



Pre-crash post count: >487
Pre-crash reputation: +10/-0
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: Sarah B

Rachel

@Oldandcreaky, thank you to the good thoughts. T-LGL has no cure and there is no standard of care. Usually the chemo methotrexate is prescribed. I am PH+ (99.6% of those with CML and 30% of AML are PH+) with T315I gene mutation. So gen 1 and 2 chemo will not work. Gen 3 chemo will work but it is with pretty unpleasant side effects. I do not know if I can be compliant.

The Onco doctor wants to see in the PH+ clonality goes up or down Aug 13. It take about a month for the clonality labs to come in. Who knows, maybe the clonality will go down and the white cells count will be down.

@cortney G, I have not started the old step, squats and pushup routine. Part of me wants to but part of me does not want to know.

-----------------
Rose, Her name is Amanda (first) Rose (middle) name. Her Vietnamese first name is Binh which means peaceful.  She is really a beautiful person. I think of her all the time.

-------------------
I have been good and have been party free. The reality is that sex is just sex but sex with someone you love, respect and trust is a void filler. It is love. In order to love you need to let someone in. Which means you can get hurt.
--------------------------
Now for something completely different.

I have 2 sleeves and and other tattoos. I had the outline done on my back and butt for a 9 tailed fox Japanese style tattoo. The outline was an experience in pain.

There were 4 females and 1 male getting tattooed yesterday. Females get more tattoos than males. 68% of LGBT are tattooed. There were 3 LGBT females getting tattoos yesterday. 2 of the 5 tattoo artists were female and were very heavily tattooed.
-----------------------------------

So if I did not have 2 leukemia's I would not have gotten the GT500 and I would not have gotten 2 sleeves and a back butt tattoo. Life is short, have fun and U B U.

 
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  
    The following users thanked this post: LoriDee, Sarah B

Robbyv213

I think I'd def want a nice leg thigh tattoo after I transition. I find those thigh tattoos sexy. I also love those hena style designs very feminine and sexy. I'd prob get a few of those hena style designs but in a real tattoo.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,248248.0.html#msg2272201

Everyday live your life a little more as your true self. Everyday live your life as the person you want to be and eventually you'll be that person before you even noticed you changed.
  •  

Northern Star Girl

@Rachel
Dear Rachel:

Your special day has arrived....  Happy Birthday on Friday, May 31st

I hope and trust that you are staying safe and staying healthy as you
can be considering some of your reported medical issues.


I am wishing YOU a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY
                                        :icon_flower:  :icon_flower:    :icon_birthday:    :icon_birthday:    :icon_flower:  :icon_flower:

Have a wonderful day of Birthday Celebrations on your "special day"


HUGS, and my best wishes,
Danielle
[Northern Star Girl]
                           
****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !

Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.

             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 44 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
  •  

LoriDee

My Life is Based on a True Story.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247442.0.html

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.


2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - Legal Name Change / 2024 - Voice Training
  • skype:.?call
  •  

Robbyv213

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,248248.0.html#msg2272201

Everyday live your life a little more as your true self. Everyday live your life as the person you want to be and eventually you'll be that person before you even noticed you changed.
  •  

Robbyv213

@LoriDee I read the article it was very interesting. Made me wonder if I feel under that umbrella.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,248248.0.html#msg2272201

Everyday live your life a little more as your true self. Everyday live your life as the person you want to be and eventually you'll be that person before you even noticed you changed.
  •  

Rachel

@Robbyv213, leg tats are very cool. It most likely I will have my back and butt done in November.  Then I will do either thighs or start on the front.

@Robbyv213, @LoriDee, @Northern Star Girl thank you for the birthday wishes.

------------------------------------------
So I am off PrEP as there is no need to take it since I will not be going to parties or events. I want to avoid getting a UTI.

My oncologist had a new medication pass FDA approval and is now concentration on the population that it treats. So my new Oncologist starts Penn the second week of August. When I received the notice I called and got an appointment for the third week of August. So I am just 1 week delayed from the appointment in August.

I feel really good with the exception of nausea. I recover wind wise from Landmine's and squats so much better than I did last summer. So I am hoping my RBC is getting higher. I still bleed a lot when cut so my platelets still are an issue but not as bad as last summer. All-in-all, I am very hopeful for good bloodwork in August.
-------------------------
I got a septum piercing yesterday.
------------------------
I had my quarterly PCP visit at Mazzoni center. My T is 109 ng/dl which is good. I take a T cream. My E was 2936 ng/dl. My script was reduced 70%. They had my EV at 200 mg/ml 5 ml per vile then it came in 40 mg/ml 5 ml per vile. I did not change the injection ml by cutting it in half. It was my mistake. With my E reduced 70% I should be in the 880 ng/dl range. I am sure next time they will have me inject every 2 weeks same dose from every week.

I am thinking of asking for T injections so I can do that weekly and not forget and it will be a lot cheaper than the compounding pharmacy. I would do them sub Q. I wonder if I could do E sub Q in an area other than the tummy and preferably in the butt skin. I should message my provider.
--------------------------------------
Now for something completely different.

There are people at work that are into grounding. I have a mat for work and I just got one for my bed.

There is a person at work that uses a chest freezer and a thermostat that can control the temp to 2 degrees F. He does cold plunge therapy every evening. I have been looking into it and I may give it a try.
---------------------------------
The 2011 GT500 SVT is  lot of fun. I did find a 2014 GT500 SVT I could afford  if I sold the 2011 but I think I will keep the 2011. The difference is 110 HP more in the 2014 but I have all 3 modes of driving in the 2011 while the 2014 is just the base. Plus both cars top out at 800 HP with a VMP 3R supercharger. I really have no need to more HP. So 2011 is hear to stay.

I have not mentioned anything about sex. So here goes, hopefully PC enough.

When I had GCS and the subsequent operations in 2016/17 I really did not use the clit. The whole glands was used. If I wanted an orgasm I have vaginal orgasms from the G spot. Fast forward about 6/7 years and my clit atrophied; it was tiny.

I have T cream and I have been using it. Not gel as the dose I need is small and the gel at 50 mg/tube is way too much to use even in small amounts. I was told to use a pea size and that is too much as evidenced with blood tests. Hence the compounded cream. I am thinking about weekly shots in the XX mg/week range sub Q.

So with T cream I have a much greatly increased sex drive. My clit has awakened ( the sleeper has awakened) and I have found I can have clit orgasms and more than one or two or three. It is not like a vaginal orgasm. Life have surprises :)

I was in the gym last Friday working out and there was a masc person working out. I was so attracted to that person it was not funny. I think it was the most attracted in all the people I have seen.

When we had group it was with transwoman. In community I was in transition and had a lot going on. Last Friday as I was doing weighted crunches, just minding my own business working out. Out of the corner of my view that person was working out. I was extremely attracted to them. I think if I see them again I will have not choice but to ask a few work out, diet and supplement questions. This Friday I was exhausted and did not go to the gym Friday night.

Now for the strange and unusual
I go to the gym early on the weekends. There is an Army Colonel I knew well who I think retired and he is at the gym. He was transferred to Wash. DC and I transitioned. I look totally different now as opposed to 2010. He does not recognize me.  I use to look like a Nordic cave man
   

 
---------------------------------------------
HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Rachel

Now for something completely different

So Monday I was going to work and the check engine light came on. Then a minute later the engine RPM started going up and the car speed going down. I pulled over. I checked everything out and I needed a quart of oil.

No one would deliver a quart of oil and it was tough to get a tow. I hit Geico and they had free towing for 10 miles. I got a tow to an Auto Zone. When the tow guy dropped off the car he said if you do not know how to put a quart of oil in your car ask them inside and they will help you. I thought wow, I 100% passed.

When I was waiting for the tow, the sun was rising and it was really beautiful. It was cool and low humidity. I passed 100%. I got to work. What an awesome day. I learned I did not have a spare quart of oil in that car. I now have oil, power steering and break oil in a box and I will be putting a gallon of 50/50 antifreeze in the box.

So as the tow truck was driving I had a thought pop into my mind. Would I? Yup, I would.

HRT  5-28-2013
FT   11-13-2015
FFS   9-16-2016 -Spiegel
GCS 11-15-2016 - McGinn
Hair Grafts 3-20-2017 - Cooley
Voice therapy start 3-2017 - Reene Blaker
Labiaplasty 5-15-2017 - McGinn
BA 7-12-2017 - McGinn
Hair grafts 9-25-2017 Dr.Cooley
Sataloff Cricothyroid subluxation and trachea shave12-11-2017
Dr. McGinn labiaplasty, hood repair, scar removal, graph repair and bottom of  vagina finished. urethra repositioned. 4-4-2018
Dr. Sataloff Glottoplasty 5-14-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal in office procedure 10-22-2018
Dr. McGinn vaginal revision 2 4-3-2019 Bottom of vagina closed off, fat injected into the labia and urethra repositioned.
Dr. Thomas in 2020 FEMLAR
  • skype:Rachel?call
  •  

Northern Star Girl

Rachel:
I enjoyed reading your last posting.... 100% passing is very affirming for sure. 

I am glad that you are now prepared with fluids that you may need for your
vehicle if you have an unexpected breakdown on the road.

You stated:
"So as the tow truck was driving I had a thought pop into my mind. Would I? Yup, I would."

I was eagerly looking to read your chapter 2 of that event !!!!!


HUGS, Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
****Help support this website by:
Subscribing !     and/or by    Donating !

Check out my Personal Blog Threads below
to read more details about me and my life.

             (Click Links below):  [Oldest first]
  Aspiringperson is now Alaskan Danielle    
           I am the HUNTED PREY : Danielle's Chronicles    
                  A New Chapter: ALASKAN DANIELLE's Chronicles    
                             Danielle's Continuing Life Adventures
I started HRT March 2015 and
I've been Full-Time since December 2016.
I love living in a small town in Alaska
I am 44 years old and Single

        Email:  --->  alaskandanielle@
                             yahoo.com
  •