I just wanted to pop in for a quick update:
I have electro sessions scheduled for every week for the foreseeable future. I submitted the invoices to my insurance company and they rejected them. I'm waiting to find out why. I really need some insurance support in order to be able to afford these sessions. I'm going to keep at it until I win.
I switched from 100 mg to 200 mg of progesterone a week ago and it really seems to affect my sleep. Sometimes I close my eyes and I zonk out instantly, waking up hours later with no sense of time. This is unusual for me.
Body changes are creeping up on me at this point. I have love handles that swoop out from my waist. My waist is up around my belly button, maybe a little higher. I'm hoping my upper hips round out to fill the gap between my thighs and those protrusions. If anyone has any insight, please let me know!
My breasts...
I could write a book about this. About having them, about growing breasts. Mine are very very round and full and I'm wearing 36C bras. I fill the cups nicely. They're a little wide-set for my taste, but not exceedingly so. The shape, however, is about as perfect as I could have dreamed. I never expected this. The idea that they'll continue to fill out, maybe even more so because of the progesterone, just blows my mind. If I don't move one step closer to a full transition, my breasts would be enough for me. But I remain astonished at how big they are, and curious about what's next.
For anyone who might be lurking, trying to find out what it's like, as I did, I'll say this about my breasts:
Having them is nothing short of a dream. Yes, they're sensitive, but not overly so, just enough to make me aware of them. No, they're not a constant source of erotic pleasure, nor are they just lumps of flesh that hang from my torso. HRT took away the lewd fantasies and replaced them with a satisfying reality.
I caution anyone who reads trans fiction regarding the changes HRT brings: life is not an erotic story; it's just life. The reality is that these changes came with a shift in how I view the changes themselves. HRT took away the fantasies and replaced them with a less vivid, more satisfying reality. I simply like the body I inhabit. It's more of a daily comfort than anything else.
I do wish I wasn't hiding my breasts most of the time. I like the way clothes fit on me and I like the idea of feeling desirable to someone. It's all new to me. But for now, I continue to enjoy the changes while keeping them to myself.
Regarding hiding: yes, you can hide big boobs. Women of all types do it all the time. You learn what to do and what not to do, and what you can't wear becomes obvious. But you must make sacrifices. I've had times in which I dreamed of wearing a tank top on a hot day, or even a tee shirt, but those aren't an option anymore. I can walk outside to bring in the trash cans without thinking about how noticeable they are. It's something you must keep in mind. Honestly, the science says that most of us won't develop the kind of breasts that I have, so it should be easier for more, but you don't get to decide how big they get.
My hair...
My hair lays on my shoulders when I get out of the shower. It's fussy and messy and complicated and requires less shampooing and more conditioning these days. It's naturally curly and a stiff wind will take me from pleasant curls to a frizzy Peppermint Patty look in seconds.
I do wish it was less thick and curly, but I'm not complaining. I love every second of the attention I have to give it. I love it when it gets in my eyes or when I put it in a scrunchie or pull it through the back of a baseball cap. I even got some in my mouth yesterday!
HRT and hair replacement surgery took me from a severe front recession and thin crown to a full head of hair, with no evidence of any intervention. I feel blessed.
