A day in the life of Jessica_k

[Jessica_K]

Request for information.

How to rob a bank?

I need cash quick to stop "bad people" from stopping me continuing on my journey.

UK news, a Tory MP, mis-appropriated funds to pay "bad people" that demanded it immediately and got his consistency aide to deliver it at night.

Jessica xxx

[Jessica_K]

Here is some information for grants for surgeries that I found online:

https://jimcollinsfoundation.org/apply/


Criteria for selection is shown at the link above.


When is the deadline to submit applications?

The current grant submission deadline is August 15, 2024 at 11:59 PM EDT.

Thank you Chrissy it is appreciated, but it is for US only. 

[Jessica_K]

It's 2:30am and I am wide awake again.

I know I am depressed and this is why I cannot sleep. Things here in the UK are getting worse and worse. Every day the press are doing hatchet jobs against trans people, they are now going after the doctors that help, attempting ton force them to stop and storing up the mob to shut them down.

The latest is going after one of the rare GP's that proscribe HRT and blockers to under 25's. The whole practice is pro trans, but The Telegraph picks on the tdoctor that just happens to be trans himself implying he is corrupting the children. Day after day it's relentless.

MP, are calling for a public enquiry into the adult trans care with the obvious fit up that was done by the Cass report to ban trans care for adults. They are going after the gender rights act, the UK human rights act. It's open season on trans people who just want to be left alone.

There is no one on our side, and those that are hounded by the press and the government. It's big business from the US that's funding the hatred. The same that has taken over the right wing GOP states.

I waited so long to start to live my life as I wanted. I thought the tide had turned, gay marriage had pushed the way. Rights for trans people meant I would not lose my job, be discriminated against, forced out of my house, these were the things of the past. But it's all likely to come back.

And guess what? Some of the worse anti trans people are gay and lesbian. You would really think that with what they went through would mean they were sympathetic to us.

I really hope this all goes away, never happens, all blows over in time. But time is not on my side.

I am glad I have here to write my story. One day I will not be here and at least I have it written down.

Jessica

[REM.1126]

Yes, a backlash is happening.  Of course, where I live it never got better, so the backlash is getting worse than ever.

[imallie]

So sorry to hear all that Jessica. The more I read about that awful Cass study, and how the UK really has become ground zero for the Terf movement... it makes me so sad.

Social media is one thing, that's a cesspool. But what's happening there is people really making concerted efforts to dismantle rights. I do hope smarter heads prevail.

Until then, please be careful and live your life among those you love as best you can.

[REM.1126]

Everyone's rights are under threat now.  But, we seem to be on the bleeding edge.

[Jessica_K]

In all the gloom, there was a little ray of light. I had done my usual change to non female clothes to black skinny jeans and a Queen Elizabeth Cunard polo. Ok not the most male.

My hair has grown a bit, and i went into the chippy to get me some dinner after a 3hr drive home. On the way out two guys were coming in, they held the door and said "there you go love"

It's all in the hair, and the big boobs lol.

I used to have a lot of male fails before I had to male cut my hair, this is the first for some time.

On another subject, I believe K has finally accepted me. When I left on Monday I had got dressed female to save changing in the car and she never gets up until I had left. But this Monday she came done and saw me "oh I thought you had left" she said. I said "I had a lot to get in the car" "drive safe and remember to put tracker on".

A few months ago she would have had a face like thunder, and would have stormed upstairs. This is one of many hints.

Plus we are now great friends. I do not want to push it too hard, but I feel we can talk now.

Hugs
Jessica xxx

[LoriDee]

That is great! I'm so happy for you.
It is always a wonderful thing to be accepted for who you are.

[Jessica_K]

It's a long weekend this week as Monday is as bank holiday. So far it's been super.

Saturday was a day where I was a muppet. It was a day where we were taking the ancient aunt to have her Covid jab. We were also doing an experiment to see if she can get into K's car as we have been swapping cars as K thought the X1 was too high for her.

We took both cars just in case when we got to the AA's house K asked where are the keys. At that point we realised I had left them in the door at home.

Well she easy got into K's car and I dashed off home to check the door K took the aunt for her jab and K and I were to meet up on the hill for lunch. Yes I had left the keys in the door.

After locking up I drove to the hill, it was very busy. I managed to park but was concerned that K may not get one. So I stood in a gap between the last parked car and the burger van, there was room for 2 cars. If anyone wanted to park I would have moved, but no one did lol. Kay got the space and we got lunch, sitting in K's car to eat.

After eating we decided on the way back we would get some shopping and drove off. When we got to the supermarket Kay said "we have abandoned your car on the hill" doh.

Anyway we did the shopping then drove back to the hill to get my car.

Sunday was a day of cinema and dinner.

We had tickets to see a live stream of the opera Carmen from the royal opera house in London, at a cinema close by. We saw the encore as the stream was Wednesday and I was working. It was super, loved it.

3 hours later and about 6pm we went to a Raymond Blanc restaurant. We had a lovely waitress. Ordered our food. When the starter was finished the waitress came round to collect the plates she said how's was that ladies. I chuckled to my self saying how nice the food was.

Then after the mains she returned and asked how they were. Again we said how good it was, she followed up with and would you ladies like desert. We said yeas and had the dessert menu, when she left K said to me. "Did she call us ladies?" I said yes and for the second time, are you Ok. She said no, and I could tell she was slightly put out, but was quicky put aside and we carried on with our conversations and had another chuckle. As Friday, another male fail lol.

Hugs
Jessica xxx

[Jessica_K]

I have had a very good weekend, so nice to post positives.

I am leaving out the bad stuff, like car problems etc, as they are just every things that happen in life.

So Saturday started with a sleep in due to not getting home from work until 11pm and straight to sleep (missing it seems a spectacular show of a huge magnetic storm)

After a late breakfast back again to the ancient aunt to do some simple chores, replacing a smoke alarm and a SIM card for her phone. After it was back on portsdown hill for a bag of chips. Temperature was 23C and sun was full out. That alone makes you fill happy.

Back home and the day had gone, just Eurovision Song Contest to watch. As usual UK did badly getting 0 points from public vote, the only country out is 25 to reach that low. Finished 18th purely on the panel votes.

The Sunday started with a cheese omelette and then going round to our friends for a chat in their garden, for it was another lovely day. Then off to the opera again. Well a film stream of one. This time it was probably the saddest and most tragic opera of them all Madame Butterfly, and yes I cried.

The production from the Met opera and contained amazing puppetry, the boy child was so like like and so tender, words fail me.

During the performance I male failed in every encounter I just a yellow T shirt and jeans, no wig, no make up, a couple of bracelets and my painted nails. I was just a typical old lady of the area..

After we had dinner at the Giggling Squid, a Thai restaurant chain. We were greeted with hello ladies. Kay took it in her stride this week, I guess she has no option and is getting used to it.

I broke my bathroom rule, where I would never use the female facilities when not dressed so. But with everyone gendering we female the it felt right.

A totally lovely day.

[Jessica_K]

More bad news coming from the UK:

1 websites that offer DIY hormones are being delisted by Google and other search engines on behest of the totalitarian UK government.

2 if it is found that under 18's has used unregulated (such as genderGP) or DIY then they will be reported to social service under a duty of care in the same way as being injured or abused. This worded as unsupervised access to these drugs that as supervision is banned means all usage. This policy was outlined in a leaked email that has not been denied.

Already registered doctors private or NHS are banned from prescribing to under 18's.

On good new K and I watched Frozen last night. A super film with one of the best quotes ever:

Some people are worth melting for.

Hug
Jessica xxx

[Maid Marion]

[Jessica_K]

This comes as no surprise, yet another TERF island decree.

All teaching of gender identity at all ages is now to be banned (heard that before?). Every day there is another onslaught.

If a teacher is asked about gender identity  they must say that gender ideology (existence of transgender and non binary people) is contested.

Another attempt by our government to eliminate transgender children and if any do rise their heads, directed to talking therapies that by another name are conversion therapies or considers all transgender tendencies as mental heath illness.

And they are going after adults next.

It's been a boring week so far. Sleep/work/dinner/sleep. There is a junkyard golf event comming up at work (yep crazy golf in a junkyard) I probably will not be able to go as I have run out of money for the month, my fault for going out too much at weekends.

Hugs
Jessica xxx

[Maid Marion]

Sorry to hear about those nasty and misguided lawmakers.
In Connecticut the law banning conversion therapy on minors unanimously passed and was immediately signed by the Governor in 2015.  Interestingly enough, there were 18 members on either party in the vote passing it, so it received unanimous bipartisan support.
They later repealed the "gay panic defense" in 2019.

[davina61]

Sounds like another nail in the Conservatives coffin ?

[Gina P]

Fortunately most of these laws are repealed by court order and deemed unconstitutional. Problem is it sometimes takes years to go through the courts.

[Jessica_K]

If only we had a constitution it could help maybe

The UK human rights is owned by the government, they have decreed in another subject that they are sovereign and therefore above the UK Supreme Court therefore they will use it again if there is anything from them. They ignore the UN and if the European court of human rights rules against them the government has said they will withdraw

So things are bad.

[Jessica_K]

So today I had 2 barrels from K's "and my" friend about recent events. About the passport and how she (K) will never go abroad with me again. About the fact that I male fail and we (K and I) have been called ladies by strangers such a waiters etc.

Of course I am away for work as usual when I get the wroth of the Shirls. I told K of it and she seemed surprised but said "she is my best friend and looks out for me" then added another gripe that I need to put in context first.

I think I mentioned that I have my own room. I can keep my clothes there but cannot wear them of course. But at night I put on a nightie. It's my room and my night. Of late the temperature has been rising and I found that my dressing gown was getting too warm so when I gave her breakfast in bed as I always do, I went in with just the nightie on, big mistake it seems.

For future I can cover it with a dressing gown, even though it's still visible or I must get dressed before entering her bedroom. Of course I feel anger and hurt, of course I hide it.

I do not know how to fix the male fails. Not sure I can lose the nails and jewellery it's what keeps me sane. Plus it summer and I cannot hide my shape under baggy jumpers, baggy T's just hang of my boobs and tighter ones show them.

What is so annoying is that we get on so well, we love the same things, we go out to art galleries and classical music concerts, ballets and opera. It's just this almost irrational insistence that I can only be who I was when we first met. She has changed, but I am not allowed to.

I am beginning to dislike work too, my other life. Things are not the same after the takeover and everything I do is questioned. I feel belittled. My mental health is shot. Ironically it's mental health awareness week. Lip service of course to tick a box, as they do not care I had to drive an extra 2 hours last Friday to get my laptop from the company that I am imbedded in when I am not doing R&D so they can squeeze every penny of work out of me. There was R&D work I could have done but more profit to pimp me out.

Another part of my life I have to endure to keep a roof over our heads, but no one cares about me as long as everyone else is OK. I put on such a brave face to the world but inside I am hurting big time. 

[LoriDee]

Jessica,

I am so sad to read of your troubles. I know you have talked about the stress at work, and it is even worse when you are stressed at home. It's like you have no place to go and just relax. I get it. I have been in similar situations and it just makes you feel stuck.

What changed things for me was to change my life and stop living for everyone else. Hate your job? Look for another. You have skills in a highly technical field. I'm not talking about in the same city. Move if you have to. Leave the negativity behind.

I realize that most people just can't pull up stakes and go, and most do not want to. I formed a plan. It took me two years to set aside money, research locations, and finally to tell people I was leaving and they were welcome to come along. No one did. That hurt, but I moved past it.

The people who were special to me got left behind because apparently, I wasn't special enough to them. "If my absence doesn't matter, then my presence didn't matter."

I made new friends, some of whom have become even more dear to me. I set up alternative sources of income, found new housing to live in, and started a new life. I now live for myself and not what others expect of me. I have no regrets.

Having been there, I also know that while you are up to your armpits in it, it seems impossible to change anything. You can. You just have to want it bad enough to form a plan and make it happen. That plan could be confronting your employer or K and possibly working out a compromise. But if you are in an abusive situation at work or at home, escape is the best option.

I wish there was some way I could help, but all I can do is encourage you to seek out a solution. One or more exist. Think of it the same as troubleshooting that IC circuit. There is probably more than one way to fix the problem, from making repairs to chucking it in the trash and getting a new start. Make a strong effort to at least research your options.

Hugs!