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Allie's Blog IV: Revenge of Allie's Blog

Started by imallie, January 03, 2024, 08:53:54 PM

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imallie

Such a nice story ...

Just got a text from a friend of mine a picture of him at another friend's engagement party. This friend is getting married for the first time at age 55, and looks incredible, having lost more than 100 lbs over the last 10 years.

He's an athletic trainer but was cut from the old school version when I knew him... and those guys were not buff fitness types, they were smart, nice, jack-of-all-trades types who every coach leaned on to be able to triage any kind of ailment or injury on the field or court, and especially on the road... until the medical staff could have a full look.

So being big didn't matter. But the turnaround and transformation is ... amazing.

By the way, I realize sometimes I throw the "f" word around a bit loosely. I don't know if I'd call it a habit, a bad habit, an affect, or what... but people who have been in my life for a time, and I got to know them, and I feel like if I saw them today we'd pick right up and be genuinely happy to see each other — even if we haven't seen each other in decades? I still call such people "a friend of mine." 

Actually, the "friend" who texted? I don't think I've seen him in person in 20 years. But we worked at rival schools back in the day, so we used to see each other twice a year... and we'd talk on the phone often... and heck, after just a few years of that, I was in his wedding party (which to this day is still a bit of head-scratcher TBH).  But we text and FB message, so he is truly a friend,friend.

This engaged? He was the trainer at that school. So I knew him... saw him several times a year, always liked him. I think we're friends on facebook... but yeah, haven't had any kind of direct interaction in forever. Even back in the day it was just when we ran into each other.

So if that isn't some else's definition of friend, fine. But it is mine.  The world works better with more friends, not fewer. So I'm at peace with casting a wider net in my word choice.

Love,
Allie
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Sarah B

Hi Rachel and Gina

I was a qualified PADI Dive Master, before I changed my life around and I have not dived since.

A couple of points that were mentioned

Quote from: REM.1126 on March 23, 2024, 01:37:11 PMGina, when I took (non scuba) rescue, we were taught that same thing.  You can save them if they kill you.  Obviously, when they stop pulling you under, you get a breath and try again (more careful to protect yourself).

and

Quote from: Gina P on March 23, 2024, 01:31:45 PMMy father had said when he took a course in the 20s. They were taught if someone had a death hold on them to dive deeper to get them to release. No scuba just aquatic training. I'm guessing there are a lot of new techniques these days.

One you cannot save them if they kill you!   Second I was also trained if they grab you (aquatic training) then you dive down deep and away from them.  The reason being is they are not going to follow you, because they are panicking and don't want to drown so they stay on the surface.

In life saving there is a graduated process in what you do in trying to rescue someone who is in trouble, suffice to say, contacting the victim is the absolute last resort and even then you should think twice about it.  Your life is important.

You should approach your victim face on and in a laid back position with one or two legs raised and as you approach you talk to the victim and if they try to grab you as they are want to, you can swim backwards and if they do grab you, you kick them away.

Instruct them explicitly what you are going to do, come behind them and proceed with the contact tow method that you are comfortable with.  If they do not listen to your instructions then wait for them, don't approach them (unless you have some aid with you, in which case you do not do a contact rescue), if they become unconsciousness.  Go behind them and then rescue them.

Quote from: REM.1126 on March 23, 2024, 01:23:11 PMI took a stress and rescue course in scuba.  I was a particularly strong swimmer, and very comfortable with scuba.  The "drowning victim" was a fire rescue professional.  He flailed and kicked and gave most people a little trouble, but he kicked it into another gear for me.  We were friends, and he threw the kitchen sink at me.  He elbowed me in the face (it was like being punched), knocked my mask off, ripped my air supply out and pulled me under.  I recovered and made the retrieval.  Next time around, though, I swam out to him, dived deep and came from directly beneath him on his back side (yes, he was spinning, but I still managed it) inflating my BC as I ascended) and grabbed him and inflated his BC and dropped his weight belt, then retrieved him.  I kept the middle of his back on my hip and all he could do was reach back over the top of his head.  He did manage to knock my mask off again (break the seal), but it just fell down towards my regulator, not off into the pool.

Afterwards he commented that I was lucky I came up with that strategy, because he was planning to make it even tougher on me than before.  He said he didn't think the others could handle it, but he was preparing me for the worst I might face in real life, because some people are absolutely losing their s4!t and can be exceptionally dangerous to the rescuer.   He followed that up with, I know you can handle way more than most.  I felt honored.

Very interesting rescue and solution in that scenario.  Yes, you was also lucky that you came up with that strategy.  In your case, you were confident and the instructor knew this.  Hence making it difficult for you as you said.  I'm of the same disposition.  However, if you are a small person and the other was a hulk.  That tactic would more than likely fail.

I still would have approached the person who was in the scuba gear face on and if I was approached back off or if I was grabbed descend as you did in your scenario and swim away and rinse and repeat.  While still talking to them, telling them what to do or what you are going to do.

Quote from: REM.1126 on March 23, 2024, 01:23:11 PMMy question is, what is it ACTUALLY like rescuing people.  Do they (unwittingly) try to drown you?  Do they try to use you as a floatation device such that you are in danger?  Or, are they so relived to be able to breath freely that they lose their fight or flight feelings?  Was he doing what he said?  Or, was he just messing with me because we were friends and sometimes that's what guys do to friends?

You go into automatic overdrive or a hyper sense of awareness and you will have analysed the situation and have formulated a plan you will go with.  This is what Sarah was trained to do over the years.  When I rescued that person on the beach he was in the water and I noticed he was struggling and I knew he was going to need help.  I did not have any aids except a towel.  I was in my bathers, I swam out and approached him face on talking all the time.  I asked him if he needed help and he replied; "yes".

Telling him I was going to tow him in with the towel and he was to grab the end and I was going to swim survival backstroke so that I could watch him all the time and I said to him if he tried to approach me.  I would let go and swim away, but I would come back for another try.  Eventually, arrived at the shore were he could stand up.  Lots of thank yous and all I said that's all right and please be careful in the future.  I later analysed the situation and thought about what I did and could I have done better.

If the victim is in the throes of drowning they will not be coherent, like you said "they will be bat s4*t crazy.  They will try their damnedest to get on top of you because they want to breathe, so in a sense you will be come their floatation device.  When they can breathe easily they will forget about fight and flight, but not completely as their Adrenalin will still be high.

When I used to train and I did my lifeguard updates.  Scenarios are always part of the course,  I never play patsy so that others can have an easy time of it.  I always made it difficult or made it awkward when they rescued me.  Not outrageously so and I always want a much harder scenario myself.

I cannot say what he was thinking at the time.  Yes, it was a practice session, lesson.  So that is always in mind.  The harder the scenario is the better equiped you will be when the real thing happens.  Yes I would also be honoured, that I would have been set a harder task to do.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
@REM.1126
@Gina P
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story

imallie

A basketball story -

A friend of mine, who hosted one of this year's NCAA men's basketball regionals (first and second rounds) posted something online about how he got halfway to the arena this morning before he realized the games and his job was done... and he could actually just go back to his office.
I let him know he did better than I did.
When I hosted? The following morning I found myself at the downtown arena's loading dock — where I entered for my special little parking spot... before I realized my mistake. Luckily it was like 6 am, so no one was there but me and street cleaners. Because all the sane people were sleeping from the previous weekend.
Needless to say, I went into the office... worked like a zombie for part of the day, and then my boss told me to take a week off.
AND he later sent me and my family to Disney and the school picked up the tab. It would be nice to think he did it as a reward for me, but I really think he did it as an "I'm sorry" to my wife for basically needing me to work two jobs for the previous year.

Even so, it was quite an experience. The event, I mean. Although when the boy was young we really did enjoy Disney. It is a pretty darn happy place.

Love,
Allie
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imallie

Oh as an aside?

This was a weird thing - last night I had a dream where I was sitting around with Brad Pitt, and asking him if he'd been to any fun places on vacation.

I have no idea WTF that was all about.

But just thought I'd share

imallie

Sorry for the multiple posts today... definitely out of sorts.

My migraines have been through the roof the last few days, at near "I can't function" levels.  So it makes me more scattershot than usual.

I kind of thought it was just a hangover from Saturday. Saturday was my annual fantasy baseball auction. There should be a special circle in Hell for people who think OTHER people want to hear about their fantasy sports teams, by the way. And I can tell you for a fact that there's literally NOTHING that athlete's hate to hear about more...

But the auction day itself, is a lot of fun... it's also just a lot. A six-plus hour Zoom conference -- we did it in person for decades, but since the pandemic we've just kept this system going, partly because they all know it's a bit easier for me. And it is. But after anything like that, I expect to pay for it for a day or two after.

But this has been epically bad.

My wife, however, posited a different theory tonight, and I think she's correct. I was ignoring the fact that we are bumping right up against the exact time of year when I had my first real cluster attack that started all this -- where I had 6 or 7 cluster headaches a day for 14-weeks. And then then returned the following year in the same window.

This is likely another "cluster storm" trying to poke its way through... but the meds keeping it at bay. So it's a real positive in that way (the meds are working), but a negative in that I'm maybe not as close to ending all this as I thought.

Either way, I just need to grin and bear it for a week or two, hopefully no longer.

Allie

P.S. The only little nugget I will share about our fantasy league, is we are probably one of the dozen oldest league's in the country. Maybe even higher up on the list. We are now in our 35th season? We started when I was starting law school and a dear friend was starting med school... so it was some of our mutual high school friends, plus friends from law school and med school. Today it's STILL some of those HS friends, and some law firm partners and leaders in the medical community. And a few stragglers like me.  ;D

The reason we're so old is, when I was working as a sports reporter during breaks and summers in college, one of the perks of being in the office was all the free book samples that came in. There'd always be a big pile of them sitting around... and I saw a preview edition of the first-ever Rotisserie Baseball handbook, and when I read it it looked like fun and that's when I pulled the league together. So we literally have been doing this from the start.

Boy, does that story make feel old!
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davina61

Breakfast meet for the Hot Rod club on Sunday, 46 years since I joined and club has been going about 18mths longer. Only about 6 of us meet regular and most of us are getting on a bit now---------
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
GRS 2021 5th Nov

Jill of all trades mistress of non
Know a bit about everything but not enough to be clever
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Gina P

Those migraine are a real pain and my heart goes out to you Allie, for having to endure them. I had one this past weekend and realized that before the pain or the upset stomach kicked in I was very unfocused and scatterbrained. This sometimes gets my wife upset when I have a hard time coming up with words while talking. I believe this one was weather triggered as we had several inches of rain on Saturday. I took some meds and the pain dissipated, not the scatterbrain though.
Hugs Gina
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imallie

Quote from: Gina P on March 26, 2024, 05:56:15 AMThose migraine are a real pain and my heart goes out to you Allie, for having to endure them. I had one this past weekend and realized that before the pain or the upset stomach kicked in I was very unfocused and scatterbrained. This sometimes gets my wife upset when I have a hard time coming up with words while talking. I believe this one was weather triggered as we had several inches of rain on Saturday. I took some meds and the pain dissipated, not the scatterbrain though.
Hugs Gina

Thanks Gina - I really hate complaining about them... in fact, I'm really very much trying not to do that. Wasting any time feeling sorry for myself or on "why me?"-type scenarios is really just time wasted, in my mind.

It's just that when there's a change in my daily status like this, it's hard NOT to speak in the language of pain — since the change right now is very much impacting me. But it shouldn't last too too long. Either that, or I will adjust. Believe me, 10 years ago, I could never have conceived of 14-16 hours of migraines per day. But now it's just... what a day looks like.

By the way, most importantly out of anything here?

Your new profile picture is LOVELY! You really look amazing (and happy!)

Thanks for that - it was nice to start this morning with a smile. ❤️😘

Love,
Allie
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imallie

The last two nights I have really wanted to take another crack at the letter to my sisters, but this is one situation where my migraines really have gotten in the way. Both with the level of pain and the fact that I've been leaning on my pain meds with extra doses... so I just haven't felt up to it.

But I have it open on my desktop again this evening, and I can tell just from re-reading it that I have done a lot of writing in the past few weeks -- in my mind. That is often my process. I write in the background... so when it's time to put fingers to keys, it should flow.

The first draft really was something. It's pretty hard to write a letter where the overriding tone right from the first sentence "Oh, and ANOTHER thing!"... but somehow I managed to pull it off.  Sheesh.

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imallie

Ok, so I was able to take a second crack at the letter.

First of all, not only did the first draft have that "Oh and another thing!" start to it, it really had a "and the horse you rode in on!" finish. It was a real double-threat.  So... wow.

It was also two full pages of what could only be described as a manifesto.  ::)

Well, Ver 2.0 is MUCH better. This I can work with, I think. To be honest, I am very deep into my pain meds right now... but I also know myself and can tell when I'm still stringing sentences together, and most of these were pretty decent.

Tonally it seemed very good. Plus it's down to 1 1/4 pages.

So hopefully I can go back to this in the next day or so and get it down to one solid page.

Then I'll take it out for a walk and show it to some folks for input.

So... progress.

And the nice thing is, this letter will be the Transburger Helper letter that I can use to write all the other letters I need to write to other groups, so once I get this right, the rest will be pretty easy.

Love,
Allie

P.S. "Transburger Helper" is VERY much a Vicodin turn of phrase. But I'm leaving it in.  ;D
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imallie

My wife applauded my self-restraint on this one today:

One of my sisters sent along a note in our siblings text chain - my pregnant niece (her daughter) would be posting a video for us soon. Or as she put it "There will be a big family gender reveal next month!"

To which I said to my wife... Yeah, maybe one more than they think, you know?

We both had a good chuckle about that one... and I do hope that's the kind of thing I can remember to tell them all about after the fact.

REM.1126

Yeah, in the context of babies "gender reveal" is a choice of words that seems to rely upon the idea that sex and gender are equivalent. They are revealing what they expect the sex of the baby will be declared upon birth. 

I can't help but think the promotion of these revelations as "gender" reveals adds to the language confusion surrounding the word.  Conservatives tend to see the word "gender" as being equivalent to biological sexual reproductive capabilities at birth (i.e "sex").

That said, if so for invited to a sex reveal party, I'd wonder whether I was invited to a sex party.
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imallie

Quote from: REM.1126 on March 28, 2024, 02:20:09 PMYeah, in the context of babies "gender reveal" is a choice of words that seems to rely upon the idea that sex and gender are equivalent. They are revealing what they expect the sex of the baby will be declared upon birth. 

I can't help but think the promotion of these revelations as "gender" reveals adds to the language confusion surrounding the word.  Conservatives tend to see the word "gender" as being equivalent to biological sexual reproductive capabilities at birth (i.e "sex").

That said, if so for invited to a sex reveal party, I'd wonder whether I was invited to a sex party.

😂

I think that sort of confusion would REALLY impact both what you'd wear to the event, and whether or not you'd bring a gift and/or a potato salad...  🤔😉😂
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LoriDee

Ok, everyone. The moment of truth. Drum roll, please.
On three, everyone drop your toga.

Umm... is that potato salad?
My Life is Based on a True Story.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247442.0.html

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.

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imallie

I think I got somewhere with the letter to my sisters last night.

I got to the oh-so-satisfying point of editing where I was reading and rereading it through and with each pass I would cut out some sentences, phrases or words.

So it's now at the point where it's good enough to see the light of day. I'll show it to my wife in the next few days, and if our son wants to see it over the weekend, him as well... plus there are a few others to whom I've mentioned it whose input I would appreciate.

And we'll see where that takes it.  But I think this is now at least the basis for the final product.
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Oldandcreaky

QuoteSo it's now at the point where it's good enough to see the light of day. I'll show it to my wife in the next few days, and if our son wants to see it over the weekend, him as well... plus there are a few others to whom I've mentioned it whose input I would appreciate.

Smart to solicit input.
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imallie

Quote from: Oldandcreaky on March 29, 2024, 08:19:33 AMSmart to solicit input.

Thanks!

The point of the letter is to make the people who read it comfortable with what's happening and explain to them that I'm still "me." The letter can't be a navel-gazing exercise.

I'm more than happy to answer any questions about my narrative in person with them but I think making the letter an origin story misses the point. It's FOR them.

So seeing how it lands with an audience is the best and only way I could think of it to make sure it's hitting right.

imallie

By the way, I am deep into Easter dinner prep today. We are resurrecting our lord a day early this year (isn't that nice of us?). Since we long ago decide to make Easter the holiday that we spend "just us" (and don't traipse to either side of the family) ... we can have our meal whenever the three of us wish. And this year the boy said it would be easier for him on Saturday, so... we're doing a bit of Biblical editing.

I made my "Everything cookies" on Wednesday (well, made the dough and froze it - will bake them today)

I made a pastry cream last night, and today am baking a sugar cookie crust and I went shopping for some fresh berries to assemble a fruit pastry tart.

That's desserts.

I made my "famous" cornbread yesterday.

It is not, as Sara gently teased me about yesterday, traditional southern cornbread... because mine leans a bit sweet. But that's how we like it here above the Mason-Dixon Line. And honestly, while I know it wasn't a primary point of contention, I do think somewhere down on the list that war must have been fought over the savory vs. sweet cornbread debate. And sine we won that war... my cornbread is iust fine, thank you very much. 😉

We ordered a Honey Baked spiral ham - so that just needs to be heated up

And then tomorrow I will make my mashed potatoes

My wife will make her amazing stuffing

And we both will work on the roasted veggies (which I just picked out when I was getting all the other produce I needed for the tart)

So... should be a nice meal, with lots of leftovers for the boy.

It's funny, when family ask if we mind hosting big family meals. And I always say the same thing - whether it's the three of us or 25 people... it's pretty much the same amount of cooking.

Anyway, hope everyone has a wonderful weekend — Easter or not!

Love,
Allie

imallie


Oldandcreaky

I love fruit pastry tarts. So pretty.

Allie, being a writer, I know a few writers, and I can't think of anymore more skilled to compose your letter to your sisters than you.

Your meal sounds great. The boy is a lucky leftover lad (L3).
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