Quote from: Oldandcreaky on April 17, 2024, 08:44:09 AMAllie, my family members were told more than 40 years ago. I requested that they tell no one, as it's my story to tell and telling is outing. They talked never-the-less and that's somewhat understandable, but to continue talking isn't, as some still do after four decades. To tell my story after 40 years is no longer processing. It's straight-up gossiping and whereas many people delight in gossiping, gossiping is a power play and a way to garner attention while someone else pays the bill.
So, I suggest you qualify your green lighting your sisters to talk without a time limit. Perhaps a one and done deal, like "you get to tell my story for one month and then you're done, for the sake of my safety and sanity."
When they tell your story, you assume all the risk with none of the control.
First of all, that is excellent advice and phrasing and I am 100% going to steal that.
As you know, good writers borrow from other writers, Great writers steal from them outright.
I just came up with that. 😉
Anyway, what I think I failed to mention is that the only agency I'm going to give my sisters is the ability to choose when to tell their children and spouses (you know, other than whatever they would have done between Friday night and Saturday morning).
I will provide them with another version of the letter for that purpose. I don't mind if they pick the time when someone finds out, but I would always prefer that the words be MINE. As you said, I don't want anyone else, even my sisters, telling MY story.
But again, you're right - even with the letter, it might make sense to say they're free to share the letter with whomever they wish to through the end of May. And then that's it.
I hadn't thought of putting a calendar on it in that way, but it makes a lot of sense.
But being in my own words has always been the plan. But as discussed above, all I can do is ask in that regard — there's still no guarantee that's how it's going to go. In fact the only guarantee is that as it spreads it will happen less and less, regardless of my desires. Especially the first time it reaches an "unfriendly.'
I think, though, that is the cost of telling people, no?
Love,
Allie