Allie's Blog IV: Revenge of Allie's Blog

[Lori Dee]

Sounds like you need a day with your feet up, cucumber slices on your eyes, and just relax.

[imallie]

Sounds like you need a day with your feet up, cucumber slices on your eyes, and just relax.

Very very much so. My mom used to put the cucumber slices on my forehead when I was little.

Our week in NYC can literally not get here fast enough. We will be there Saturday through the following Sunday.

Fingers crossed that this humidity wave breaks, as it's not unusual for us to log 15-17k steps each day in the city. That would be unbearable in this current weather.

[Gina P]

I asked her about the letter I need to get my gender marker changed by Social Security... she was unfamiliar with it (I would have thought she'd have done them before)... but she said that she'd do anything I need, just send it. Luckily I have seen plenty of form letters, so I can just send a long a "mad libs" style of the letter... except I'll give her all the non-wacky answers to use..

We also talked surgeries.

But as for bottom surgery, she did say that she believed that the state required TWO letters from mental health professionals. I thought the way I read it, a letter from my therapist and one from her would suffice. But she said she writes a letter of support.. but she believes a second therapist is needed.

I really have no idea how that is accomplished. Seems foolish. I will ask my therapist, but I think I want to confirm that first.

Love,
Allie

Allie, 
   I know every state is different but in NJ there are no letters for a name change/gender marker change. I had to fill out some forms at the court house and have a judge approve it then go to the  SS office and that was it. Same for drivers license.
  Bottom surgery was a bit different. They require 2 letters from mental health professionals. I thought my endo could write one but no! Many people pay another Psych to write the second one. Plume also has a letter writing service, though I don't know how that works. I lucked out and had a friend of a friend in the business write the second one. 
   I feels so good to see your proper name and gender on all of your documents.
Good luck navigating the system.
Gina

[imallie]

Thanks Gina!

[Oldandcreaky]

150 grand?? YIKES and YIKES!

[imallie]

150 grand?? YIKES and YIKES!

Yeah, we both did that Bugs Bunny thing where our eyes shot out of our heads and snapped back on rubber bands to the sound of old car horns. (Wow, am I OLD!)

[Maid Marion]

In Connecticut I could have just changed my drivers license when I renewed last time.
Caught me by surprise so I didn't change it.  I could send them some money and they would send me a new one with the change.

https://portal.ct.gov/-/media/dmv/20/29/b-385.pdf

I had a pricey WeHa guy do my chimney and roof repair.
He has an office on Farmington Avenue but drives around constantly checking up on jobs all day to make sure everything is done right.
I told him what I wanted and he used his experience of doing hundreds of jobs to suggest what should be done.
He really liked the idea of having some artistic control over what was done.

I don't think it could have been done with less hassle or as fast as he got it done!
I pointed out a large camellia plant that I wanted protected and he agreed to see that it saw no harm.

What good is having money if you can't spend it?

Marion

[davina61]

Some times they just throw a number to see if it sticks.

[imallie]

In Connecticut I could have just changed my drivers license when I renewed last time.
Caught me by surprise so I didn't change it.  I could send them some money and they would send me a new one with the change.

https://portal.ct.gov/-/media/dmv/20/29/b-385.pdf

I had a pricey WeHa guy do my chimney and roof repair.
He has an office on Farmington Avenue but drives around constantly checking up on jobs all day to make sure everything is done right.
I told him what I wanted and he used his experience of doing hundreds of jobs to suggest what should be done.
He really liked the idea of having some artistic control over what was done.

I don't think it could have been done with less hassle or as fast as he got it done!
I pointed out a large camellia plant that I wanted protected and he agreed to see that it saw no harm.

What good is having money if you can't spend it?

Marion

Mass is the same, or similar, Marion.

Now that I have my court order that's all I need for license name change. Anyone can change gender marking on a license... you don't need anything for that.

But to do so on passport, requires first doing it on something where it's "official"... such as social security card. And that requires the additional steps.

[Lori Dee]

Just FYI:

Social Security no longer tracks gender. But when you update your account, the change gets reflected in the Medicare account tied to your SS account.

[imallie]

Just FYI:

Social Security no longer tracks gender. But when you update your account, the change gets reflected in the Medicare account tied to your SS account.

Huh. The forms I'm looking at are specifically talking about requiring certain things to change SS gender marker. Maybe you mean it's just in their system but doesn't show up on the card?
I wouldn't know about that. I lost my SS when I was like 16 when I accidentally washed my wallet and that card melted. 🙄

[Lori Dee]

Yes, it is not shown on the card. I think in the file there may be a birth sex noted from the birth certificate. But it is in their records, not shown on the card.

Here is the explanation:
https://faq.ssa.gov/en-us/Topic/article/KA-01453

[imallie]

A bit of good news/progress on surgery today... based on discussions with my Endo I felt that I had some conflicting info about pre-surgical requirements for a very well-regarded surgical team in Boston. From what I'd read, one of the issues as well with them is that communication with their team is a slow/difficult.

Well last night at 1:30 am, I sent them an e-mail. Nowhere on their site nor in their posted "welcome" packet did I see anything stating that they do zero depth surgery... which I found hard to believe. But assuming they did do the procedure, I wanted to confirm that they did not require any hair removal.

Well at 9 am this morning I got two responses. The first was a direct response to my email. They call it it "genital reconstruction"... which was why I didn't see it posted anywhere, and no, they do not require hair removal (thank goodness).  The second email was the specific welcome packet for that procedure, including all the steps required to book a consultation, and the order things need to be done up to and through surgery. It was super helpful and encouraging.

I still will not act on any of this until we get home from vacation, but the fact my wife and I could read this this evening was very comforting.

Love,
Allie

[Jessica_Rose]

Well at 9 am this morning I got two responses. The first was a direct response to my email. They call it it "genital reconstruction"...

Love,
Allie

Congratulations on an auspicious start to your next round of research!

There have been many terms for this surgery, GRS (Gender Reconstruction Surgery), GCS (Gender Confirmation Surgery), GAS (Gender Affirmation Surgery). Let's call it what it is 'GO', that's right, 'GO' - Genital Origami. Now, the beginning of Shania Twain's 'Man, I feel Like A Woman' takes on a totally new meaning... 'Let's GO girls!'

Love always -- Jessica Rose

Shania Twain...

[imallie]

Thanks!

And the "feeling like" has been there for decades.

The "seeing myself as..."? That's a relatively new addition. I quite like it. 😉

[Oldandcreaky]

Yeah, we both did that Bugs Bunny thing where our eyes shot out of our heads and snapped back on rubber bands to the sound of old car horns. (Wow, am I OLD!)

My eyes do this too. It must be a generational thing.

[Lori Dee]

Ow-Woooogah!
 

[Oldandcreaky]

Ow-Woooogah!
 

Ah, I see you watched the same cartoons too.

[imallie]

Getting ready to leave on vacation... but a few bits of housekeeping just as we are headed out the door...

My wife looked into the "insurance concierge" service available to her at her employer. Yes, there's even a specific type who hands transgender cases... and they help with paperwork, clearances, etc etc... everything you'd want. So that's good. The only caveat is that it is says it's available for employees and their parents. (which she took to mean employees and the children of employees... not their mothers and fathers... that seems odd).

But no mention of spouses. Even so she feels like it's probably because it's just a lesser category, and she will call when we get back, only because we don't want to get the ball rolling just as we're walking out the door. But if that does work, it would be great.

Second, I found not only an instructional page, but a from letter from GLAD Mass, showing exactly what is required of a treating physician to qualify as the letter to change my gender on Social Security. I combined them into a PDF and I just send them with a nice note to my Endo. So hopefully by the time I get back, there's something waiting. Because literally that's all that's required (other than my filling out a form.)  And then my new SS card, along with the license I'm getting the week we get back, are all that are required to get my name Passport.

That's it for updates.

Our bags are packed.. we're ready to... we're "a-leavin'.. on a Subaru Forrester... I don't know when I'll be back again... except it will definitely be a week from Sunday..."  That song would definitely not have been as good with those specifics...

I'm sure I'll check in, travelogue style each night... it'll mostly be pics of food so... apologies in advance if that's not your thing! We have some pretty cool restaurants lined up!

Love to all,
Allie

[Oldandcreaky]

it'll mostly be pics of food so... apologies in advance if that's not your thing!

Food is my thing, so we're synced.