Allie's Blog IV: Revenge of Allie's Blog

[Oldandcreaky]

Davina, English cuisine is greatly underrated. I've had some amazing meals there. You can't go wrong with freshly made, locally sourced tomato soup from pubs. I never had a bad bowl there. However, the traditional English breakfast is way too much food for me.

More amazing food, Allie. Far above my pay grade, but I can gaze and sigh. Imagine me as the street urchin with her dirty face and fingers pressed against the front window of the restaurants.

[imallie]

Made my street food Thai rice/chicken/tempura with sweet and sour sauce look like road kill!! 

😂 I'm sure it was delicious! And btw it does the same to every thing I've ever made so don't feel bad! 😘

[imallie]

Today was a wonderful day. Exhausting, but great. I just looked. I walked 15,465 steps and 6.05 miles. Most of them in my brand new Clarks loafers. We'll see how my feet feel tomorrow. I will make dinner a separate post, but here's the rest of the day.

Morning was walking the city (see above) and shopping, en route to lunch at what we consider the best pizza in NYC: John's of Bleecker. This legendary coal fired pizza spot has been around since 1929. Yes it's often on "best in NYC" lists.. it's been named best pizza in the US in the past... but that doesn't matter. Some people think other places are better. And that's wonderful. Those people are wrong, but it is still wonderful.😘





Seriously, though... if you have the opportunity.. please make the journey. But go early. This was a Monday morning. We were there at 11:15 (it opens at 11:30) and there was already a line of 15 people. We luckily got a booth, but by the time we were seated there was a line outside waiting.

After lunch we got to rest up at the hotel (thank goodness) before a pre-theatre dinner (next post) and then we saw Oh Mary! At the Lyceum theatre. Might be the funniest thing I've ever seen live. My wife and I literally were in tears by the end. Cole Escola, the creator and star, is a tour-de-force. And, ironically, we are seeing them tomorrow morning when we attend a taping of The View -they are the guest.

Also had a little personal milestone at the show. As we were waiting to go in, a middle aged gentleman was taking a picture of his party in front of the poster. He turned to me and asked if I would mind taking a photo of his group with him in it. Of course I was happy to do so. After I handed his phone back to him, he said "Thank you, sweetheart."

It was my first "sweetheart."

Later, when we were seated, the usher came down and seated a couple in our row, so we had to get up to let them pass. I commented to my wife that the guy was kind of rude (in that he didn't even say "excuse me"). "Well now you just expect EVERYONE to call you sweetheart, I suppose?" She said.

I know, I know... she's the best.

Dinner is next. ...

[imallie]

Ok, so for pre-theatre dinner we went to Kochi. Kochi was part of a movement 2-3 years ago to prove that Korean food can be elevated. It resulted in a few places (such as Kochi) rising to Michelin star level and landing on "best of NYC" lists.

As much as we loved this place the last time, we think it's even better now. They serve ONLY a tasting menu... so if that's not your thing, I suppose it wouldn't be for you. But this kind of cooking? It's hard to imagine anyone who wouldn't. Some of it may sound a bit foreign or challenging? But it's all incredibly delicious.

Here's the menu, along with each dish, in order... I will let the pictures speak for themselves.

[imallie]

We spent this morning with the ladies from The View. 😉

We got "priority" tickets (I.e., you'll most certainly get in unless there's a catastrophe or you're one minute late for the window.). I believe like six people with "regular" tickets (I.e., good luck with THAT) actually got in too!

It was surprisingly fun.

We'd never watched the show until last week when we said "if we're going we see this we should at least be able to identify the hosts! There's Whoopie, Joy Behhar... someone named Sunny? Amy Farrah Fowler maybe? I don't know. They all seem nice, though.

We were (pleasantly) surprised to find that the show is largely these women talking politics. And mostly from the progressive side. Today's first in studio guest was Karine Jean-Pierre, who was great. Next it was Cole Escola, the star of the Broadway show we loved last night - Oh Mary!

Then a book segment (we got a few freebies) a pre-tape of another segment and we were done. The show airs 11 AM - Noon live, so the warm up person (a local standup) would come out and work the crowd during breaks, but the ladies, mostly Whoopie, were really interactive and chatting with us through all the breaks as well.

Oh and as we were lined up outside, a few construction workers were very obviously leering at us. Which was weird and gross. Anyone who would call that affirming in any way other than a joke ... has unresolved conflicts to work though. ❤️

Last little bit. They seat the audience, deliberately. They look at each party and seat you based on your look and how much camera time you may get. We were sat in the top row (there's only four rows off the floor, dead on the aisle. I was on the aisle, my wife to my left. The other side of the aisle was this really smartly dressed black woman (who was super nice) and her hubby. The stage manager came up and said this spot gets maximum tv time. So we (or at least my neighbor!) must have looked nice!

Plus I got to say to my wife that I looked one seat better than she did (although they really just told us to take the two seats we took...I may have neglected to share that with her. 😇)

Love,
Allie

[imallie]

So I reached a little tipping point with a friend today. He is one of the "original six" — one of the first people I told, and he was wonderful supportive from that first moment.

However, since then... he has continued to call me by my old name. I full well understand that he is among those who have known me for nearly 50 years by one name. He also lives out of state and so all of our contacts (we're in touch pretty regularly... several times a week) are all on the phone or text. So he never "sees" me.

All that being said, I think that's an excuse for struggling with the name... not never using it.

So tonight, while we are in NYC, he texted me about something and led off with my old name, and here was my reply:

"Btw, and please don't feel bad or apologize or anything ... it's not like that. But if you could try to make the (old name) to (new name) transition I'd really appreciate. After all, in terms of that transition, I'm honestly doing most of the heavy lifting. 😉"

"Ok. I won't apologize but will say sorry🤭" was the response. So hopefully, message gently received.

[imallie]

And now back to our regularly scheduled restaurant tour that no one really wants to see  

Tonight we got to go to a spot we'd wanted to visit for the last several years - Dirt Candy. It is a vegetarian restaurant. I know, I know. But they aren't vegetarian for any political or health reason... there's no "this is the sustainable way to live" vibe. No, this place exists to show that you can do exciting, creating things solely with vegetables. Full stop. And ... wow.

It's a five course tasting menu. It just switched to a new summer menu last week, and here was tonight's menu:



What's fun is that, in addition to the five courses ... there were some added treats along the way. This place did NOT disappoint!



It started with this "treat". A corn cone. It was a small corn and creme fraiche purée, in a small cone topped with caviar. Lovely.



Then the first dish, featuring "lettuce." I suppose it's a salad — but it's also NOT a salad. First of all, it is a warm dish. The lettuce is pickled, with sautéed celtuce (stem lettuce which tastes like celery sort of), with crunchy rice on this yummy cream sauce. It was really good.



Next came the "tomato" course. This is a donut. It's literally a raised donut, that tastes wholly of tomato, with a sweet and spicy tomato jelly filling, creamy feta topping and cherry tomatoes on top.
The first bite took my brain a moment to process. What was I eating? My wife and I both laughed a bit. And then we realized how GOOD it was. It was savory.. but also the sweetness of the tomato comes through... it's... hard to describe. Which is Dirt Candy in a nutshell.



Then we got this additional course, a palate cleanser. It is a broad noodle, made of turnip. In a vegetable dashi broth. Good, not great. But technique through the roof.




Next up is "corn." I would eat a bucket of this. Corn doesn't normally have that strong of a taste, if you think about it. We put butter and salt and spices... but this? It tasted SO much of corn. The broth was a deep corn broth, with delicate corn filled pasta. There was hominy, lime and some real spice to the dish as well. It was fabulous.



The final savory course was "eggplant." The described this as their version of the corn dog. Somehow, eggplant was turned into a sausage, and then deep fried into this shell, on a bed of fresh eggplant, and swimming in a deep star anise and eggplant broth. It was kind of mind blowing. You know it's eggplant... but you also think you're eating a sausage.



Dessert course is "onion" because, of course it is. That is a carmelized onion ice cream, between raspberry cookies in a raspberry sauce. The ice cream tasted very much of onion on its own —- but still very tasty. But eaten together? It was DELICIOUS. It was like "oh, of course onion/raspberry should always be a dessert combo, OBVIOUSLY."  Crazy, and amazing.




And lastly, with the check, came these little bonuses - zucchini cheesecakes. Because of course that's what they'd serve. And they were delicious.

Overall, it was everything we hoped it would be, and we hope to be lucky enough to score a table here during another season some time, when they are doing mad scientist work with a whole different set of veggies.

If you're interested — Dirt Candy is on Allen Street in NYC.

Love,
Allie


 

[imallie]

As people haven't responded much to my previous posts on this trip, I apologize if they're boring or simply too far afield. I'll post tonight's and then likely go dark the rest of the week. Give the people what they want, I always say. 😉

Anyway, tonight we visited Tatiana. Tatiana is considered by many to be the best restaurant in NYC (it's #1 on the NYT's list, for example), but it is universally regarded as the toughest table in town. So we felt so lucky that all my clicking every day at noon snagged us a spot on the last possible opening we had on our trip — tonight (we have games or previous commitments for our remaining dinners).

The restaurant is located in Geffin Hall at Lincoln Center, and when we arrived there was a line of about 50 people ... all waiting in hopes of snagging a few of the bar seats available each night. And each of them looking at those of us who were waiting for doors to open because we had a reservation with a level of disdain that boarded on assault. So... that was sort of weird.

The first thing to say is, this place does not disappoint. The concept is foods and flavors from around the word, blended and combined with familiar dishes and concepts of New York reimagined. There are some dishes that look familiar that taste wildly different, some that have flavors that evok memories of childhood but are in a form you'd never expect with ingredients you'd never eaten. Things like that.

It was amazing.

And not a tasting menu. You need to order off the menu. Everything is to be shared. Small dishes and large dishes. Those are the two categories. There are about 6-7 of each. That's the whole menu, and it's plenty.

Our waitress said that we should get as many smalls as we'd like (but 2-4 is typical) and then one large should be plenty. We could always order more. She was spot on. Because this is a "save room for dessert" kinda place.

Ok, so here's some pics and what we got.



The place setting. Very cool. Menu is on the other side of that card. The prices are listed on it... and since the prices are NOT listed on line... the first time we saw prices was on this menu, it seems like they don't like the published? So I won't post that pic. For what it is, and for NYC... it was really in the range you'd expect.



HONEYNUT PIRI PIRI SALAD:
This featured Persian Cucumber, Seasonal Grapes, Crispy Quinoa, Avocado, and a few other items... in a spicy "Piri Piri" sauce. We'd never tasted anything like it, but now we'd love to again. It was savory, and a bit spicy and sweet... it tasted a bit like the holidays (there was peppermint in there... which may have accounted for that)... an incredible dish.



CURRIED GOAT PATTIES:
The two sauces were a green seasoning aioli, and mango chutney
Meat patties. Every culture has a version. But the flaky crusts, and the incredible filling (the first time either of us have had goat, we believe)... I could have eaten all three of these on my own.



EGUSI DUMPLINGS:
Dumplings filled with Crab and a Nigerian red stew — served on some sort of spicy pepper sauce.

This is the ode to Chinatown and all the dumplings in the city, but here with a Nigerian stew? Something that looked so familiar and tasted so very different. But really good. As much as we enjoyed these? On a return trip we'd likely try something else because we wanted to try all the remaining small plates as well. The goat patties, however, you will have to pull from my cold dead hands.



BRAISED OXTAILS
Served with rice & peas

Lot of hemming and hawing about which "large" to get. There are several which were supposed to be amazing. There's this version of short rib pastrami that looked incredible when our table neighbors got it, but they were equally jealous of our oxtail... as well they should have been.

The dark, sticky sauce — it was barbecue but it was NOT barbecue. The oxtail itself was so MEATY and delicious. And they called the side "rice and peas"... but we have no idea what was in that to make it taste like THAT. It was so good. All of it.


When it came to dessert, our waitress said that two were her favorites. So... we ordered both of them, of course.



GOLDEN RUM CAKE:
This was topped with a honey sweet cream, and blistered gooseberries.
I hate the word "moist"... but not sure what else to use here. This cake was so drenched in rum essence (and actual rum for sure), it was sweet, and a bit salty...and the gooseberries were tart... it was as wonderful as advertised.



BODEGA SPECIAL:
They call this the bodega special because it comes with a couple of bodega staples — the brownie with colored sprinkles and powdered donuts.

But that is not what this is at all. Well, the brownie is a brownie - but WHAT a brownie it is. It's more like a flourless chocolate cake. Super dense and creamy and Chocolatey ... it was incredible.

The donuts? They are powdered donut FLAVORED ice cream, shaped into powdered donuts. They were a mind blowing way to end an amazing meal.

We really enjoyed and appreciated our time at Tatiana. Service, food, atmosphere ... everything was amazing. And hopefully we can be lucky enough to return someday.

Love,
Allie

[Lori Dee]

Don't stop posting if you have time. These adventures are so awesome, they leave me speechless. Definitely not a lack of interest. In a couple of years, you will be heading back and trying to remember what you had on this trip. And here is your journal to help you remember what that sea urchin-looking carrot thingy was called. I love the powdered donut ice cream!

I used to make "Spaghetti Ice Cream" for my kids. Plain vanilla ice cream pressed through a spaghetti noodle press so it looks like noodles. Topped with frozen strawberries so it looks like sauce with meatballs. I had it in Germany at an ice cream parlor and had to make it. The kids loved it.

I sincerely hope the "goat patties" are unrelated to what we call "cow patties". And I don't mean hamburgers. 

[davina61]

As said^^ keep posting, I think we are to awe struck to reply!!!

[imallie]

Sorry all, that was just my migraine talking. These trips are so much fun but also really empty my tank and I have to really push myself. And I pay for it after.  Hormones have made it a bit worse in several ways.
So sometimes I get cranky and just ... complain about something stupid because I know complaining about my headaches is pointless. My wife bears the brunt sometimes. I hate when it happens but she understands. No excuse, just an explanation.  ❤️
Love,
Allie

[Lori Dee]

That's ok. I think we have all been there. We still love ya! 

[imallie]

Today was a a full day, in every sense.

We started this morning down at the 9/11 memorial and then the museum. We've been to numerous memorials — WW I, WW II, Vietnam, Korean War, Holocaust museum, and others... but I think only Pearl Harbor and Gettysburg are similar in that they are located on the very grounds where the conflict took place. That fact makes the whole thing more solemn.

But with 9/11... what makes it unique for us is that this is not "history". This is our lives. As we were walking through it, my wife said "it feels like we are in a tomb".

Several times, each of broke down.

There's a room where they put up the bios of those who perished, and you hear memories of them from their loved ones. If my wife didn't pull me out of there, I'd have sat in there and cried all day.

It was remarkably well done, and just so much to deal with.

When my oldest sister, who works with vets, found out we were there, she texted and we were chatting about it. She said her last visit was with a few of her vets. She said going there with people who signed up because of 9/11... and then went to war... is an entirely different level of meaning.
——-

Afterwards, we had planned lunch at somewhere that seemed like a good place to flush the morning. It's called Manhatta, and it's on the 60th floor of a building a few blocks from the memorial.

The views are spectacular (this is literally the view from our table)



And while sometimes places like this can be touristy? This was not. The food was way better than it needed to be with a view like that. In fact, the lunch crowd was all business people (and us)... because it was an excellent restaurant that HAPPENED to have an amazing view.

And it was really nice to be up in the clouds for a little bit after being under ground for two hours.

——

This evening we went to the first of our three Mets games on the trip. Something we really love doing. But that's really a lot for me... the travel, the lights the noise, all of it. But ... it's all worth it.

One funny note — typically, when we ride the LIRR back to Penn Station after the game, there would be a drunk frat boy crowd trying to start a cheer of "F*** Joe Biden." Sad but true. We wondered, with their material gone, what would the ride be like tonight?

Well the Mets won in dramatic fashion...and the ride back was basically blissful and curse free. God bless you, Kamala! 😘


——-
This whole week so far has been a whirlwind of "miss", "Ma'am", "ladies", the occasional "sweetheart"... "girls"....and so forth. Been chatted up by women on a regular basis, have found it incredibly easy to start conversations with strangers in ways that previously gave me pause. Lots of smiles.... Umm... oh yeah, this morning someone asked my wife and I if we were sisters. I had to tell him we were married... and as we walked away, I said to my wife "at least he didn't say "are you mother and daughter?" 😂

My point is... not only do I officially now know how blessed I am at how swimmingly this is all going, I'm starting to really notice myself leaning into it — not thinking about it, just doing it. Because it comes really naturally.

It's pretty great.

It has led to one bit of ... guilt? I don't know if that's the right word. Might be a bit strong.

A friend this morning sent me (well, us) think for our Alma mater's LGBTQ+ alumni group on facebook. She (a lesbian) said there's lot of great people there, and definitely some trans and non-binary folks too, not just gay. So I should connect.

And I did. And there's a notice that the college is now selling pride gear - hats, sweatshirts, etc. I think that's marvelous. At the ballpark tonight I got a Mets pride can coozie.

The thing is... where I feel bad is, when it comes to folks who know me, well yeah, I'd wear stuff like that for sure. And as an ally I would anyway. And really I guess my wife and I have to come to grips with how we are regarded now.

But in terms of announcing my trans status to people who don't know me? I feel like that's not really something that feels like me. Transition is a process I'm going through... and when it's done, for me, that part of my life is done and the next part begins. And I'm more surprised than anyone that that next part seems to already be here.

I don't know. Like I said... there's some form of guilt in all that. Enough to mention it at least. Just something I have to process. This week and the way things have developed have just moved this to front of mind, a bit.

Love,
Allie

[Oldandcreaky]

My point is... not only do I officially now know how blessed I am at how swimmingly this is all going, I'm starting to really notice myself leaning into it — not thinking about it, just doing it. Because it comes really naturally.

You're taking to your new role like a fish to water, i.e. swimmingly.

For 40 years, I have enjoyed how open other women are to me. It once broke my heart to be walking down a sidewalk at night and to see a woman cross the street to put safe distance between us.

The 9-11 museum scares me. I'd weep watching those videos and want to wail.

I was in Boston when the Towers were felled and I heard it from an excited guy on the street who said they would use the attack to form a surveillance state. He was right and I always marveled at how quickly he connected the dots.

It's pretty great.

It has led to one bit of ... guilt? I don't know if that's the right word. Might be a bit strong.

It has been an easy road for you by dint of your appearance. On the other hand, you've hit all the right notes, in the emails you wrote and texts you've sent.

There are women at Susan's who've been harassed on the streets simply because genetics rolled the appearance dice and snake eyes came up. And some of these women are markedly kind, gentle, and feminine in nature. So, I get your guilt.

Transition is a process I'm going through... and when it's done, for me, that part of my life is done and the next part begins.

It will be done for you, but not for others. As I've shared many times, 40 years after I transitioned, there are people from past who live 40 years ago.

[imallie]

The 9-11 museum scares me. I'd weep watching those videos and want to wail.
 

I think this is why it took us so long to go. I regret that in some ways. But your fear, such as it is, is real. That will be your experience. Is it something you should experience? That's for you to decide. It was a powerful experience for us, but very draining.

It has been an easy road for you by dint of your appearance. On the other hand, you've hit all the right notes, in the emails you wrote and texts you've sent.

There are women at Susan's who've been harassed on the streets simply because genetics rolled the appearance dice and snake eyes came up. And some of these women are markedly kind, gentle, and feminine in nature. So, I get your guilt.

I do think that's at the heart of it. I feel like, in part, some of this is well-earned. We did all this thoughtfully. Built the right team, listened to the right people, leaned on the experience of others, etc etc.  But yeah, part of it is just the blind luck of genetics which continues to floor me because I didn't see that coming. So there's guilt there. Because I know others don't get that and it's not fair.

It will be done for you, but not for others. As I've shared many times, 40 years after I transitioned, there are people from past who live 40 years ago.

I hear this, completely. I can see it already with my sisters, and with some friends. And its not for lack of trying on their part, it WAS unrealistic expectations on mine.

I feel like the best you can hope for from family is acceptance. Honestly, I'm like a broken record on this, but I'll say it again "I'm very lucky" - the two people who really get this the best are my wife and son. They see me as me, and continue to treat me, and love me exactly as they did before. Nothing has changed. And I honestly think that is the very best you should expect from those in your life.

Validation of your new place in society... the "new" you... that will, in the beginning, come from strangers. But ultimately, that has to come from within. That's the key. And then all the stuff from strangers goes from being the training wheels you needed at the start, to just some really nice added icing on the cake, as you go on — to completely mix metaphors.

[imallie]

Just got a call/VM from my endo's office (couldn't answer as we were on the LIRR en route to a ballgame). 

She has written the letter I need to get my legal gender change with social security. So next Monday I'll get my new license and later that week I'll go to SS and drop off those forms.

Once those are both in hand, that's all I need for my passport. 

[Oldandcreaky]

Congrats, Allie. Changing the documents is big.

[Sephirah]

Allie, you can't feel guilty, honey.

I've been here a long time. I've seen literally everyone come and go. People who just... transition is a thing that happens. It's painless, it's something they put down on their CV as something they went through, and just went on living their lives.

Conversely I've seen people for whom every day is a struggle just to be alive. They are the exact polar opposite.

You can't feel guilty because your life is a certain way, sweetie. That will eat you up. We all come at this from the same place. We all come at it with the same end in mind. That some have it easier or harder than someone else is no one's fault. Certainly it isn't something you should feel bad or guilty about, okay?

You should enjoy the gifts you've been given. Having known you enough to get a kind of read on the type of person you are... Allie you are the person who pays it forward, takes nothing for granted, and has nothing but encouragement and support for everyone else. Don't feel bad that your life has turned out how it has okay? That is a thorn in your mind which will never stop hurting. Focus on the good, okay?

Keep doing what you're doing. Being there and supporting people in whatever way you can. Keep being you. The outgoing, quirky, gently whistful yet always engaging philosopher. That's all you can do.

Be happy for you, while being mindful of others. That's all we can do in this world. <3

[imallie]

Congrats, Allie. Changing the documents is big.

Yea. Getting the court order really wasn't a thing. I mean who dream of getting a court order? (This coming from a former attorney to boot!)

But I think when I see the driver's license -tears will flow.

Love,
Allie

P.S. - my SS card? I ruined my original in the washing machine when I was 16 years old and never replaced it, so... I don't imagine that being much of a big deal either. 😉

[imallie]

Allie, you can't feel guilty, honey.

I've been here a long time. I've seen literally everyone come and go. People who just... transition is a thing that happens. It's painless, it's something they put down on their CV as something they went through, and just went on living their lives.

Conversely I've seen people for whom every day is a struggle just to be alive. They are the exact polar opposite.

You can't feel guilty because your life is a certain way, sweetie. That will eat you up. We all come at this from the same place. We all come at it with the same end in mind. That some have it easier or harder than someone else is no one's fault. Certainly it isn't something you should feel bad or guilty about, okay?

You should enjoy the gifts you've been given. Having known you enough to get a kind of read on the type of person you are... Allie you are the person who pays it forward, takes nothing for granted, and has nothing but encouragement and support for everyone else. Don't feel bad that your life has turned out how it has okay? That is a thorn in your mind which will never stop hurting. Focus on the good, okay?

Keep doing what you're doing. Being there and supporting people in whatever way you can. Keep being you. The outgoing, quirky, gently whistful yet always engaging philosopher. That's all you can do.

Be happy for you, while being mindful of others. That's all we can do in this world. <3

The kind words are much appreciated.

The advice too. I feel as if those are things that I know... it's just internalizing them is another matter. I'm trying, though.