Hi Courtney
It's nice to see that you have posted again, I had been thinking of you and wondering what you was up to.
Quote from: Courtney G on January 22, 2024, 06:24:51 PMI've been checking in here (on Susan's) quite a lot lately. We're all trying to rebuild, restore and reconnect, and I like that.
I joined Susan's in 2010 after reading and watching about 'Jazz'. Up till then I had not been associated with the 'community' in any sense of the word. As they say once bitten twice shy. Then after a couple of years of posting, the time had come to retreat into the woods.
Just recently, I have been writing down my history and since Susan's was a good resource of what I had done I came back only (after 12 years away from Susan's) with the intention of only lurking and copy the posts that I had for posterity. However the vortex caught me and before you know it I was posting away again.
The crash cost me my recent posts so no big deal I have the more lengthy ones on my computer. So I can refer to them if I need to. After the crash I have gone berserk in my posts.
Quote from: Courtney G on January 22, 2024, 06:24:51 PMIt has me thinking about the lurkers - people who pop on here are pore through the threads and posts, trying to understand their feelings. Many are looking for a "thrill", not fully understanding that it's likely driven by vicarious desire rather than a fetish. They wish they were a woman/man/nonbinary person, rather than the person everyone sees them to be.
I understand where you are coming from, lots of views but hardly any replies or comments. If there are new visitors they post a couple of help me questions and then disappear into the void never to be seen or heard from again. You begin to wonder are they real, did they get caught posting, or were they trolling. So do you answer these calls for help? Then it becomes a case of dammed if you do and dammed if you don't
Quote from: Courtney G on January 22, 2024, 06:24:51 PMFor lurkers like I once was, who happen to dream of growing breasts and are wondering what it's like:
I was never a lurker and the only time, I wished for breasts was in my late teens (18 to 20), probably just after leaving boarding school, or in my early twenties. I believe the reason being I was going through puberty at the time (late bloomer I think) and to my utter despair I knew they would not grow, I was broken hearted to say the least and never really considered the lack of breasts since then.
Actually to be honest, my SO at the time said to me a handful is just enough (large A cup) , he sure knew how to sweet talk me. So I was smiling from ear to ear. One of the problems with my breast is the left one tends to work its way out when I'm swimming, one time I was so embarrassed, when I got out of the pool my left breast was exposed and a male member discretely said to me you need to cover it up, oh the memories are so branded in my mind, so in competition I tend to wear two pairs of bathers.
Quote from: Courtney G on January 22, 2024, 06:24:51 PMIt's amazing. I absolutely adore my breasts. I love every minute of having them. I've had to struggle to hide them so far, but it's worth it. Without testosterone in my system, my response is different. It's no longer an erotic rush to look at them - to "experience" them. It's just a deeply satisfying thing. I used to check them out 20 times a day or more. 2 years into growing them, I probably check them out 5 times a day. I marvel at these miracles every single time. I don't miss the horniness that used to drive my desires, as it was tremendously confusing. I figured that if I still wanted to have boobs after losing my male hormones, then my desires were more than sexual. I'm happy to report that the desire is still there, along with many other feminine desires.
My breasts never defined who I was, they are a part of my anatomy,, they are now a C cup and they tend to reside near my armpits, maybe a little exaggeration and I tend to get rid of my bra after a hard days work. How ironic you want to wear a bra in the earlier stages but later on you don't. Even my mum did not wear a bra often and sometimes I did hers up.
If I was to have any surgery done on them I would bring them together, so that I would have a little more cleavage. I guess that's not being too vain is it? No, my breasts are not my center of attention, to me downstairs is, where I get the most pleasure from.
Quote from: Courtney G on January 22, 2024, 06:24:51 PMAnd you know what? Cisgender males don't constantly daydream about having breasts (or soft, hairless skin, or a pretty face, or whatever). While they might really want to get close to a pair, actually growing them on their bodies isn't much more than a passing thought. If you continually think about this stuff, you really need to consider the possibility that you're trans.
I agree about the males not wanting breasts, but want to handle them, I get that, I know so. I waited so long for that first time and that memory is embedded so deep in my conscious, that to me it only happened yesterday.
No, I never constantly thought about those things, that is I never was thinking about my breasts. I was lucky, that they grew to the size that they are now and I knew they were growing when I was on my regime of HRT and yes I have a couple of stories about them.
So, from that I'm not 'trans' anything never thought about them, only rarely, as I keep saying I'm a female and my breast developed like any other prepubescent girl, I was never obsessed with them.
Best wishes and all the best for the future and let us know how well you are going.
Love and Hugs
Sarah B
PS My breasts were sore when they were growing but my memory is vague on this and it was so long ago.
PSS My breasts are natural!!
