Quote from: Moonflower on January 18, 2024, 05:53:06 AMSimilarly, I'm still me and MORE me. When I was a pre-teen, I noticed that I wasn't as feminine as other girls.
You have hit the proverbial nail on the head in describing me. Like you, I have done so much more since surgery and I'm still me. I really get it. I will rephrase your last words, "I noticed that I wasn't as macho as other boys". I liked what other girls were doing and I wanted to join in and do the same thing, I can remember the yearning as if it was only yesterday. The pain, anguish and sadness still hurts me today, that little girl could not play with the other girls.
Thank you for reminding me of how much, I wanted to be a girl, These particular memories, cement in my mind that they were not just random fleeting moments.
Quote from: Moonflower on January 18, 2024, 05:53:06 AMWhen I was a teenager, I noticed my androgyny and tried to persuade a doctor to do a hysterectomy. I considered it part of my 1960s/1970s cool feminism. In college, I put on the clothes, did my hair, and played the girl part while enjoying shocking people with my interest in car mechanics, woodworking, electrical circuits, and my own muscle strength.
You were certainly brave to suggest that to a doctor, imagine me asking a doctor for a change in anatomy! I would not be able to even squeak. Attending university three years after surgery, I got to play me, wore crappy clothes like tracky dacks, no makeup, did my hair as always and shocked the men and boys in my prowess at mathematics, electrical circuits and programming and even tutored them in those subjects. Yay girls rulz.
Quote from: Moonflower on January 18, 2024, 05:53:06 AMLike you, then I changed my clothes, but I stopped wearing makeup. I stopped wearing heels and stockings. Eventually stopped wearing bras because I didn't have much there anyway.
It was so liberating to finally wear what I wanted, when I wanted and how I wore them. I can relate today on not wearing a bra, so funny in the earlier days I so wanted to wear them, now I cannot wait until I can get home and remove my bras as fast as I can. The irony is not lost on me.
Quote from: Moonflower on January 18, 2024, 05:53:06 AMI still enjoy the ease of throwing on a dress, much like many men of other times and cultures.
These days I would not even know how to dress as a male, I would not even try to do that. If I did do that, I would look absolutely ridiculous.
Quote from: Moonflower on January 18, 2024, 05:53:06 AMSo, when I got my cancer diagnoses, cancer dictated the chest and pelvic surgeries, but my gender identity brought me great peace and comfort.
Nobody deserves to suffer from cancer and I'm sorry you had to suffer in that way. However, in a sense, I suppose it was a blessing in disguise. I know exactly how you feel about your peace and comfort. I woke up from my surgery the second time and as I drifted of back to sleep, I felt a peace and contentment fall upon me, that I have never felt before and I don't think, I will ever again.
Quote from: Moonflower on January 18, 2024, 05:53:06 AMMy body feels Right, now. It feels more familiar. I am pleased with the results. My surgery put me more in touch with how nonbinary I am. It confirmed my gender identity.
My body feels right too. I'm comfortable with it and of course I'am pleased with the results, I never knew what the surgery entailed at the time. So whatever my surgeon did, he made me extremely jubilant female. I only ever had surgery for one thing and one thing only and that was so that I could function as a female in society.
Your description of yourself as non-binary explains to me how, one can be non-binary in this world. I'm happy you have confirmed your gender identity.
Best wishes for the future
Love and hugs
Sarah B