Gina's journey

[ChrissyRyan]

Have a calming, relaxing day and enjoy it with your wife Gina.
Your time off work is a one time thing really so although there may be a one time deficit the business may be much better after you can return to it full time.  But do study the business and its market to see if it should be continued or sold in part or whole.

Chrissy

[Lori Dee]

I'm sorry to hear that, Gina.

I hope that she is just emotionally reacting to all that is going on. You have gone through a lot, mentally and physically, and that affects her mentally and emotionally. Take some time to work through it and your destination will become more clear. We are hoping for the best.

[Gina P]

Thanks ladies,
  Wife is all lovey now as the cycle begins anew. We have been down this road so many times. I just want off this roller coaster. I went to my trans group meeting Saturday night. Winter  depression was the topic. I'm sure it is effecting both of us. 
  Split some firewood, with the splitter, on Saturday. Came in soaked with sweat and exhausted. Got a quick shower and then a 3hr nap. Wow am I out of shape.
  I have been contemplating laying off one of the employees to save money but this would mean I have to take his place and since I still have hip PT, pelvic floor PT, and speech therapy during the week it will make things difficult. Much to think about.

[Gina P]

  I stopped the speech therapy for a while. Hip PT should only be another week. This should lighten up my schedule to do other things. Still have pelvic floor therapy and mental health counseling. Mind games continue... I look in the mirror and see a man with long hair staring back then ten minutes latter see the woman that I am. Freaky!
  Went on a short trail ride yesterday. The first with my new hip. I had been given the riot act by the doctor and my PT trainer about not falling off or very bad things can happen. I was a little nervous but calmed down and enjoyed most of the ride. It started snowing half way through and made a beautiful scene. Managed to split more firewood Friday so now we have enough for a few weeks. Today I'm still sore. We are supposed to get 6" of snow today, so its off to get the plow truck fueled up and check all the fluids.
  Took my son and his wife out to dinner for their birthdays yesterday. Good times, 200 dollar bill. Sold an old snowmobile last night for $200. Quick in and out. Trying to get rid of some old stuff just collecting dust.

[davina61]

Take it easy dear we dont want any setbacks. I know the feeling of in one hand and out the other, sold some car bits for £300 and just bought 2 engines and auto box for my new hot rod for 350 plus shipping. Yes without my wig its harder to see me but I am there with it.

[ChrissyRyan]

I stopped the speech therapy for a while. Hip PT should only be another week. This should lighten up my schedule to do other things. Still have pelvic floor therapy and mental health counseling. Mind games continue... I look in the mirror and see a man with long hair staring back then ten minutes latter see the woman that I am. Freaky!
  Went on a short trail ride yesterday. The first with my new hip. I had been given the riot act by the doctor and my PT trainer about not falling off or very bad things can happen. I was a little nervous but calmed down and enjoyed most of the ride. It started snowing half way through and made a beautiful scene. Managed to split more firewood Friday so now we have enough for a few weeks. Today I'm still sore. We are supposed to get 6" of snow today, so its off to get the plow truck fueled up and check all the fluids.
  Took my son and his wife out to dinner for their birthdays yesterday. Good times, 200 dollar bill. Sold an old snowmobile last night for $200. Quick in and out. Trying to get rid of some old stuff just collecting dust.

Gina,

You might as well get rid of some stuff you do not need or want, as this stuff just takes up space.

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

I stopped the speech therapy for a while. Hip PT should only be another week. This should lighten up my schedule to do other things. Still have pelvic floor therapy and mental health counseling. Mind games continue... I look in the mirror and see a man with long hair staring back then ten minutes latter see the woman that I am. Freaky!
  Went on a short trail ride yesterday. The first with my new hip. I had been given the riot act by the doctor and my PT trainer about not falling off or very bad things can happen. I was a little nervous but calmed down and enjoyed most of the ride. It started snowing half way through and made a beautiful scene. Managed to split more firewood Friday so now we have enough for a few weeks. Today I'm still sore. We are supposed to get 6" of snow today, so its off to get the plow truck fueled up and check all the fluids.
  Took my son and his wife out to dinner for their birthdays yesterday. Good times, 200 dollar bill. Sold an old snowmobile last night for $200. Quick in and out. Trying to get rid of some old stuff just collecting dust.

Gina,

Do you split by hand or do you use a log splitter?


Chrissy

[Gina P]

Gina,

Do you split by hand or do you use a log splitter?


Chrissy

I have a hydraulic splitter but many of the logs I am splitting are huge and its a challenge to get them under the splitter. I recently got a few loads of rejects from a company that sells wood. Pieces with a 'y' or knots. It was free but nasty stuff.

[Gina P]

Another week gone. Its been brutally cold here in NJ, -9 one morning. Minus or around 0 the rest.  I know that's balmy those up in the far north (Danielle). I still struggle with my memories. Don't get me wrong, way less intense as when I had my GD along with it. I used to worry about keeping busy to try and forget my troubles. Now the list of things that need doing is a downer and I just want to sit inside.
  I have been dismissed from PT for my hip. All is good.
  Had a 7 month follow up with my gender doctor. All is going well. Still on 3 times a day dilation till the 10 month mark.

[ChrissyRyan]

Gina,

I hope that each day brings better times and feelings for you.
I am glad your hip is doing well.

Chrissy

[Gina P]

  Another week slips by and I feel like a passenger in this life. The wife and I have been fighting almost constantly. The business, which I had turned over much control to her so I could work in the field more, has been a train wreck. Loosing money. Customers unhappy. I laid off an employee who under performs. Now have an employee who has been out for months on medical leave, wants to return. Wife says no way. Cant afford to pay him..... I need him so I, guess we can fight about this one too.
  Hip therapy is complete. Pelvic floor therapy is complete. I stopped voice training. Missed my app. with the counselor. Tired of running all the time non stop. Fix one problem, 2 more pop up. Something has to change. 
  My old self popped out briefly during the week as I dove into a job full force. Dam my nails and body, just get the job done. Forget about being trans and go, go...Scary that he is still there.

[Lori Dee]

Scary that he is still there.

No "HE" isn't. never was.

Our minds react to situations using whatever we have learned in the past is the best way to get through the situation. You are still you.

As a kid, I learned that to prevent being bullied, I had to become a bully. It is an old habit that took a long time to overcome.

Later, after I learned how to defend myself, I still react similarly to perceived "threats" to myself or others. My posture changes, I stand taller and my voice becomes more assertive. I'm still me. My mind is just reacting to the situation the best it knows how.

The same thing is happening with you. You know how you have handled stressful situations before and it is easy to fall back into that mode to get through it. Eventually, you will learn new ways to react and you may not even notice it.

I hope you are able to get things worked out. I trust that you will, but it sucks until that happens.

"When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is difficult to remember that your job was to drain the swamp."

[ChrissyRyan]

Gina,

Life is full of hardships and trauma and drama. 
Troubles continue to pop up.  How we deal with them is important. 

Do think out your business situation carefully and try to do what is best for you two, the business, its customers, and its employee(s).  If the business shuts down, think about what you will do for income.  If you continue your business, think about your action plan, that is, what you will do to keep it going and stop losing money.

I am glad your hip rehabilitation and pelvic floor therapy is complete.

Slipping back into your old self sounds like something you had to do on an emergency, urgent basis.  I realize that must have been very hard for you.  Sometimes we just do what is expedient or we deem necessary.  It may not be pleasant though.

I do wish you really good outcomes with your business decision and your relationship with your wife.

Hugs,

Chrissy

[Gina P]

  Thanks, ladies for the help and support. I relieved my wife of most of her duties. Much yelling and screaming. But its done! Hired the employee back that's been on disability. I told my wife that she deserved to be retired and enjoy herself. I hope that smoothed things out. I actually am looking forward to the change. With every good there is a bad... Many of my doors come from Canada and I have several orders in the works, now with Trump tariffs due to start this week, how do I tell the customer your door just went up 25%? Such is my life.
  In other news, I sold another hay wagon that I no longer use. At least now I have some cash in my pocketbook.

[davina61]

Just tell them the truth, your idiot of a "leader" has caused this serves you right for voting for it.

[Gina P]

   My new glasses came in and I love them. (see my avatar) They are much bigger than the last pair, so if I wear eye make up it should be visible.
   Drove my truck on Tuesday, horrible grinding noise from the brakes. New rotors, calipers, and pads. Almost $1000 in parts. Lucky i have the ability to fix myself. Replaced a fuel pump on my backhoe which is my go to vehicle when cutting firewood. Feels like I've been playing mechanic all week.
  On good news, no fights with the wife this week.

[ChrissyRyan]

Gina,

That all sounds positive except for the expenses.  Did you replace all the brakes on all four wheels?  It is good that you can make the repairs. 

How does a backhoe work with firewood?  Does it carry it to your splitter?  Or is there a splitter attached to the backhoe? 

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

Do have a nice Saturday too Gina!  Maybe take a horse ride?

Chrissy

[Gina P]

Any gear heads, I need help. 
   Backhoe, diesel motor, runs for 5 minutes then slowly slows down until it stalls. Replaced fuel filter, fuel pump, seams like it is starving for fuel, but I have checked all the lines. Air filter is also good.

[ChrissyRyan]

Any gear heads, I need help.
  Backhoe, diesel motor, runs for 5 minutes then slowly slows down until it stalls. Replaced fuel filter, fuel pump, seams like it is starving for fuel, but I have checked all the lines. Air filter is also good.

An Artificial intelligence reply suggests this: 

A diesel motor that runs for five minutes and then slows down until it stalls could be experiencing fuel starvation. This can happen if the fuel filter is clogged or if the lift pump is not functioning properly, preventing enough fuel from reaching the engine.

(A lift pump is a low-pressure pump designed to transport fuel from the fuel tank to the engine, ensuring a steady and clean fuel supply for diesel engines. It plays a crucial role in maintaining the engine's performance by providing a continuous flow of fuel to the high-pressure pump. In modern diesel vehicles, the lift pump is often a small electric motor-driven device controlled by an electronic control module, which helps regulate the fuel pressure and volume.)

Another potential issue could be air in the fuel system. If air is present, it can cause the fuel filter to not be full, leading to insufficient fuel pressure and ultimately causing the engine to stall.

To diagnose and potentially fix the issue, you should start by checking the fuel filter and replacing it if necessary. Additionally, inspect the lift pump to ensure it is functioning correctly. If the lift pump is mechanical, it might be worth considering an electric lift pump as a replacement, as mechanical lift pumps can sometimes underperform.

If the fuel system appears to be in good condition, you may want to inspect the fuel lines for any obstructions or leaks. Using an air compressor to blow air through the lines can help dislodge any debris that might be causing a blockage.

Regular maintenance, such as cleaning or replacing fuel filters and checking for fuel line obstructions, can help prevent these issues from occurring.


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