Gina's journey

[Maid Marion]

Hi Gina,

Great to hear you fixed the icemaker!

We got a foot on snow for fully testing my snow blower repair.  Worked just fine!
I was able to clear away all the snow before it froze.  Much easier when I can do that.

Marion

[ChrissyRyan]

I played Gina of all trades today and conquered fixing my refrigerator icemaker. First I didn't have  clue why it stopped working or how these darn things work. You Tube up! I never did figure out what was wrong but my guess was the motor. I had another one inn the garage fridge but it was slightly different so a little spicing of the wires and presto it works.
Had my 4th hair removal for surgery, Wednesday. It defiantly stung a bit as she got close to my rectum. Only 2 more to go there. She has also been doing my hair below my belly button at my request. Its so smooth now its amazing. I need to schedule some for the rest of my body.

Most ice makers in refrigerators are essentially the same, except those that make pellet ice as opposed to more of a crescent shape.  Congratulations on the repair.

It is nice to have smooth areas free of troublesome hair.  Good for you Gina!

Chrissy

[Gina P]

  My icemaker repair was to good, now it doesn't shut off and dumped ice all over the freezer. I must have a wire in the wrong place. We cleaned out the fridge scrubbed it all down while I had it off. Now the temp regulator flap stopped working. I think we should just get a new fridge, but the wife doesn't want to spend the money and instead wants to just buy the part.
  I have been brain dead the last week or 2. Forgetting everything just in zombie mode. Had a bit of a cough so I'm guessing a bit of a cold. No drive to do much.
  We flipped the mattress on the bed, which was a pillow top. Now is very firm. Very interesting sensation when I lay down on my back, I could feel my boobs bounce up and down on my chest. 
Hugs Gina

[Gina P]

   Still close to 4 months till surgery day, but my mind has been working overtime trying to convince me to call the whole thing off. As I use the spicate to relieve myself behind a tree or in a dirty job Johnny I find myself asking why would I want to squat or sit? Of course the resounding answer is because I have to!! I know I am one of the newer ones in terms of transitioning but patients has never been one of my strong suits. I sometimes feel I am trapped between two worlds. I need to remind myself that I am still making progress and in time all will be done. My breasts continue to grow slowly. My hair is getting so long I have to fluff it up to prevent it from getting stuck under my collar. Teeth are getting fixed and looking better with the braces. Hair removal for surgery is getting done. Hemeroids are all better now.
   Troubles are my hip has been bothering me a lot and I know it will need to be replaced very soon. Business has been slow and adds to the stress. Tax time in here and I usually owe a large amount no matter how much we plan for. Work trucks are getting older and should be upgraded but with business slow its not feasible.
   Sorry just a little venting.
  Gina

[davina61]

Vent away dear, I know what its like running a business. Yup that's the only thing "negative" about the op, I had to get a Portaloo for my workshop instead of the handy bucket!

[Gina P]

Sitting here having my morning coffee watching a herd of deer in the woods near my house. I have been sleeping much better now, with the mattress flipped. No more zombie mode. Instead of craving quick energy/calories, I'm back on my diet. Hopping to loose 20lbs in the next few months.
  I have my endo appointment on Monday. I must fess up and tell her I upped my Estradoil .1 on my own. The blood tests say it was needed but she didn't order it. I also have been taking Progesterone on and off without her consent. My previous endo had prescribed it which I filled all the prescriptions available, before switching over. This endo is against it and doesn't want my taking any. I think it makes a difference.
Gina 

[Courtney G]

Glad you're sleeping (and eating) better, Gina.

Funny how docs vary on what they think is the right course of treatment when this science is so underdeveloped and less studied than treatment for other conditions. My doc at Plume is more in the "this is what we've had success with but let me know if you feel differently about it and we'll adjust" camp.

[Brooke Renee]

Glad you're sleeping (and eating) better, Gina.

Funny how docs vary on what they think is the right course of treatment when this science is so underdeveloped and less studied than treatment for other conditions. My doc at Plume is more in the "this is what we've had success with but let me know if you feel differently about it and we'll adjust" camp.

Yep, this how mine is too.  She's of the mind that "you're a grown-a** woman and you can make your own informed decisions based on the known risks".

I'm glad you are sleeping better as well Gina, that sure can change your perspective on life! 

[LoriDee]

I've had many an argument with my Endo on that subject. Sadly, the VA, like all government agencies, is at least five years behind the rest of the world. They were following the prescribing protocol from 2017 which excludes progesterone. I sent her links to dozens of studies showing the benefits and she responded that the studies were too small to be significant. I asked her point-blank if the fact that transgenders only make up 1% of the population does that mean we are insignificant? Medical journals in China and India dating back thousands of years describe a particular medicine. U.S. FDA: "There is no evidence that this works. The FDA has not evaluated this statement". Sheesh!

That Endo retired from the VA, so I was moved to a Community provider who prescribed progesterone. My sleep patterns improved immediately. Now the VA has decided they want to handle all medical in-house if available. Without warning, they refused to renew my authorization to continue seeing my endocrinologist and set me up to begin care with an in-house Gynecologist. I meet her on Monday (26th).

I worry that as an employee of the VA, she will be forced to follow outdated protocol. However, she just returned from a two-year hiatus traveling in Europe to study Transgender Medicine. So I am hopeful.

I worry that you take the meds "on and off". I don't believe you are doing harm, but meds have a half-life, (amount of time it takes for the body to process them). The prescribing schedule is so that your body maintains an even dose instead of roller-coasting up and down between doses. Oral estradiol has a half-life of 12 hours, so it is usually prescribed so you take one in the morning, and one in the evening to maintain levels. I don't know what the half-life is for progesterone. My concern is not that you are doing something dangerous, but that you might be wasting the medication by not allowing it to work as intended. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business. 

[Gina P]

I worry that you take the meds "on and off". I don't believe you are doing harm, but meds have a half-life, (amount of time it takes for the body to process them). The prescribing schedule is so that your body maintains an even dose instead of roller-coasting up and down between doses. Oral estradiol has a half-life of 12 hours, so it is usually prescribed so you take one in the morning, and one in the evening to maintain levels. I don't know what the half-life is for progesterone. My concern is not that you are doing something dangerous, but that you might be wasting the medication by not allowing it to work as intended. Feel free to tell me to mind my own business.  

By taking the P on and off. I usually do 3 weeks on 1 week off. I felt that in woman's body these hormones fluctuate with the menstrual cycle. It seamed when I took the same dose continually my body just got used to it. The E fluctuates enough with the rise and fall between injections.

[Sarah B]

Hi Gina

I hope you are well.  It's Sunday down here and I was reading your stories.  When I came across this:

I got the shingles vaccine on Wednesday. The nurse comes into the waiting room and says very loudly 'Gregory'. Argh! I reluctantly get up and once out of the waiting room tell her she has my name wrong. She apologizes.

I was at my mum's house a couple of years after surgery on holidays from school.  I was in the lounge area when all of a sudden she calls me by my 'old name' and I totally ignored her, no reaction from me whatsoever.  I heard her mumbling something about me and in a sense I knew she was fuming.  She then calls me by my 'new name'.  I immediately turn around and say "yes mum".  She never ever called me again by my 'old name'.

I said to my family, one by one, I will never answer to my 'old name' ever again and actually come to think of it, they never did.

So all I can say and this is entirely up to you how you respond in the future. Please, Do not ever again respond to your 'old name', unless you really have too or want too.  Me personally, I never will respond to my 'old name'.

On a much lighter note, hows the weather where you are, it's raining cats and dogs here for the last 24 hours or so?.

Best Wishes, Love and Hugs
Sarah B
@Gina P

[LoriDee]

By taking the P on and off. I usually do 3 weeks on 1 week off. I felt that in woman's body these hormones fluctuate with the menstrual cycle. It seamed when I took the same dose continually my body just got used to it. The E fluctuates enough with the rise and fall between injections.

I gotcha. I was thinking take one tonight and skip a few nights. Maybe again next week. I think you are on track. I'll just shut up. 

[Gina P]

   Weather is clear and cool today. Supposed to get up to 40deg. My wife is a little sick with a cold today so I think I will make use of the nice weather and go on a solo trail ride.
   My official name is still Greg, so its hard not to answer when its used. Still on my health insurance, doctor visits etc. I do have the preferred name filled is but....Pharmacy still asked if Greg is the right prescription. Official name change should be in April and I cant wait. My wife still slips up and dead names me occasionally which I usually ignore her, or say who? She is getting better and said she is home to the dog. I have asked she stops calling me daddy to the animals as well.

[ChrissyRyan]

Weather is clear and cool today. Supposed to get up to 40deg. My wife is a little sick with a cold today so I think I will make use of the nice weather and go on a solo trail ride.
   My official name is still Greg, so its hard not to answer when its used. Still on my health insurance, doctor visits etc. I do have the preferred name filled is but....Pharmacy still asked if Greg is the right prescription. Official name change should be in April and I cant wait. My wife still slips up and dead names me occasionally which I usually ignore her, or say who? She is getting better and said she is home to the dog. I have asked she stops calling me daddy to the animals as well.

Gina,

I hope your wife feels better.

You also do not look like any Greg I have known.  Gina is definitely correct!

Chrissy

[Gina P]

I had an appointment with my Endo yesterday and fessed up that I had upped the Estradiol .01 and was taking Progesterone from an earlier prescription with an other doctor. She berated me and said she didn't want to be my doctor anymore and I would have to go elsewhere. 10 min of apologizing and kissing butt and she says she will stay on but if it happens again i must go . She is really more of  diabetes doctor and many of the things I tell her about transitioning seam to surprise her. I am seriously considering going back to Plume. I have always been a one on one kind of person and not a big fan of online meds but I feel sometimes she is not looking out for my best interest. She is a stick figure and makes popeye's olive look curvy. She defiantly thinks less is more when it comes to hormones and such and seams to not understand the desire for big boobs. I told her about breast tenderness and she thinks this is a problem. I feel its just growing pains. She did refer me to a speech therapist in network, who also does voice surgery, so it was not a complete waste.  Much to think about.
I find myself thinking about transitioning all the time not with GD but with desire to move forward, faster. I find it hard to stay focused on work.
I had a nice relaxing trail ride alone on Sunday. I kept it short only 3 miles. My horse was well behaved and did his best. So nice to be out alone with just a horse and the quiet of the woods. I am probably the only rider who puts on makeup for a ride alone in the woods.
Hugs all round Gina

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[LoriDee]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Every doctor seems to have their own protocol. The VA switched me from Endocrinology, and I had two different doctors in Endo. The first one refused to order progesterone. I sent her 20 articles discussing the benefits. She still refused. When she left the VA, they sent me to a non-VA Endo. She never gave me a chance to ask. She immediately ordered progesterone and upped my Estradiol dosage. The VA changed its policy this year and now requires all medical care to be handled within the VA if that service is available. So they refused to let me continue with that doctor and moved me to see a new doctor in the VA Women's Health Dept.

I had my first appointment with my new doctor yesterday. She is a Gynecologist. However, she just returned from a two-year hiatus in Europe studying transgender care. She spent two hours with me during a one-hour appointment discussing my problems. concerns and goals. She told me that the progesterone issue is currently one that is being heavily debated. She agreed to continue my prescription.

From my point of view, anyone who thinks it should not be prescribed has forgotten basic reproductive biology. They focus on "protecting the uterus" and think that since we don't have one, we are better off without unnecessary medication. They forget what progesterone does to the breasts from puberty through pregnancy to lactation. Since we don't have ovaries, we need it just as much as we need estradiol. [Stepping down from soapbox.]

It truly sucks when you must accept treatment from someone who may be less than 100% qualified, but in my experience, you must be your own advocate. I think that if you can find one, seek out someone with transgender or "integrative medicine" experience.

I am with you, sister.
Hugs

Lori

[Courtney G]

I am so sorry you are going through this...seek out someone with transgender or "integrative medicine" experience.

Great points, Lori. I agree 100%.

[Gina P]

Thanks Lori and Courtney,
   I have never really liked my Endo from the time I started with her and she said she didn't think I would ever come out and really didn't want to prescribe me meds, but since I was already on them she would continue them for now. Problem is there is no gender specialising Endos in the area and none in my insurance network. My only other option is to go with an online provider such as Plume. For now I think I will just stay with her especially with only 4 months till bottom surgery.
Hugs Gina

[imallie]

Yeah, sorry about that whole situation Gina. Obviously finding the right people to join your "team" is such an essential part of this - we are literally building our own support system.
But it's easier said than done when there simply are not qualified professionals in your area/network.

All that being said? It's still important to find a doctor that you like and trust who you feel has your best interest at heart. They may not be an expert in the field, but if they're on your side, they need to be willing to get the info they need to provide you the best possible treatment. Honestly, it's how most GPs work. They aren't experts on EVERYTHING. They learn over the years through experience.

So am I happy you two came to an understanding, and I hope it blossoms into something you feel is a good relationship for you. But if not, I think you just need to find a doctor who you like and connect with — whether it is their expertise or not in a situation where experts are not available.

Good luck!!
Allie

[Jenn104]

Hi Gina -

Bear with me, on my phone in the office. I will try to do this as best I can...

Insurance is tough. Depending on your state and type of insurance, your rights can vary. A few things I have learned along the way include -

 - Many plans have a concierge or single contact feature. You have to ask for one in my experience. A concierge can help connect you with the right care.

 - You may be entitled to out of network providers being covered as in network, depending on location. In Massachusetts, it works this way.

 - Not surprisingly, it's difficult to get out of network exceptions. The process is call a "gap exception request". stiff like this is why a concierge or single point of contact is pure gold.


 As it is, your relationship to your Endo sounds borderline toxic. if it continues as such, maybe she could recommend and refer you to a colleague.


good luck

jenn