Gina's journey

[LoriDee]

Eye on the prize, girl. Focus on the positive things and everything else will fall in line or fall away. Get your documents and work on telling the world about your new LEGAL name. Pizza and wine are also good. 

Hugs!

[Gina P]

So hear is my day. Started with an appointment made last night with the DMV for a new drivers license. I go to the court house today to get my certified/gold stamped copies(second floor) and I am told they cannot give out copies even though the judge and the order was mailed from them. "You have to mail everything to the state house in Trenton to get the copies made." Back down the stairs and home. I make some phone calls and finally get someone who says, you need a certified gold sealed copy to send us so we can make you more from that. Argh!! Call back to my courthouse to which they say if you come over now, we will make you the copies for $25 each. Back to the courthouse up the stairs get the paperwork. Now... You have to pay down stairs then bring the receipt back up to us. Down/up again. Get my copies then back down stairs and race to the DMV for my appointment, to which I didn't have the correct documentation to get a real ID drivers license so I settled for a standard one. But 'Gina' is now a registered female driver. All day shot but it's done. And I got a great work out running up and down those stairs. Perhaps I'll tackle Social Security next week. There has got to be a better way.

[Iztaccihuatl]

So, how many stories does your Social Security Administration building have? Just tying to get an idea of your workout options for tomorrow...

In all seriousness, congrats on your new driver's license with your correct name (and hopefully correct gender marker as well)!

Hugs,

Heidemarie

[davina61]

Well at least something is easy in the UK, post a copy of name and gender change and licence with new photo and back within a week. At least you got the bonus workout for free!!

[Gina P]

So, how many stories does your Social Security Administration building have? Just tying to get an idea of your workout options for tomorrow...

In all seriousness, congrats on your new driver's license with your correct name (and hopefully correct gender marker as well)!

Hugs,

Heidemarie

Heidemarie, yes, the gender marker is correct. That was another form which I had to fill out. Luckily the counter lady was patient and let me fill it out there without going to the back of the line. Of course being frazzled, I had to fill it out twice because I made a mistake on the first one.

[LoriDee]

Wow, Gina, that is quite the ordeal. I am glad you got it done.
Here in South Dakota, it went smoother. The judge signed the Order. I took it to the Clerk who put the stamps on it and asked how many copies I needed. Since it is my court case, copies are free, so I had her give me 20. She stamped and signed them all as "certified copies" of the original.

I did have to make two trips to Social Security as they wanted to see my birth certificate and the court order. The woman told me I had to amend my birth certificate first, then come back. That is absolutely false. There is no requirement to amend your birth certificate if you don't want to. Pennsylvania's backlog is 18 months so I decided it was unimportant. I contacted a Supervisor at the Social Security office and explained what happened. They scheduled a new appointment for me and that visit went off without a hitch.

Good luck. One down and a few more to go!

Hugs!

[Gina P]

My wife and I are meeting my son and his wife's father for Easter dinner. I would like to wear a nice spring colored dress. My wife disapproves since we are meeting her father for the first time.? I always dress female so I'm not sure of the problem. She just says it may be to much for them to handle. She still see's a man in a dress!! It is who and what I am now, so there is no hiding it. (not a man in dress). I will have to give this more thought. Comments, suggestions anyone?

[LoriDee]

I can understand she may be nervous about a first meeting. The whole "first impressions" thing. Maybe a compromise? You can dress feminine without wearing a dress. I am not saying hide who you are, just be a bit less "in your face" for the first meeting. Does she have something in mind for you to wear?

My best friend knew me pre-transition. She has been very supportive and has commented on my hair and makeup. She said her only request was that she never wanted to see me in a dress. That was a few years ago, so maybe she thinks differently now. But I am wondering if there are some similar thought patterns here. Maybe it's just the dress is the issue. Talk to her and see what she suggests.

Hugs!

[Sarah B]

Hi Gina

You said;

All day shot but it's done. And I got a great work out running up and down those stairs. Perhaps I'll tackle Social Security next week. There has got to be a better way.

Yes, there is a better way; "Shoot the Bastards."

Best Wishes and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

[Gina P]

Happy Easter all. He has risen!!
Planning on attending church at a neighboring town with a good friend. Then going to my sons, where I was told by his wife the dress may be a bit to much. It bothers me but Ill respect thier wishes. I've had a terrible twitch in my eye the last day or two not sure if its from the stress of this meeting or what.

[Sarah B]

Hi Lori and Gina

Gina you said in one of your posts above:

My wife and I are meeting my son and his wife's father for Easter dinner. I would like to wear a nice spring colored dress. My wife disapproves since we are meeting her father for the first time.? I always dress female so I'm not sure of the problem. She just says it may be to much for them to handle. She still see's a man in a dress!! It is who and what I am now, so there is no hiding it. (not a man in dress). I will have to give this more thought. Comments, suggestions anyone?

Lori said it best:

I can understand she may be nervous about a first meeting. The whole "first impressions" thing. Maybe a compromise? You can dress feminine without wearing a dress. I am not saying hide who you are, just be a bit less "in your face" for the first meeting. Does she have something in mind for you to wear?

So yes dress feminine, but without wearing a dress, for the first couple of times.  You will not lose your femininity by doing so.

My best friend knew me pre-transition. She has been very supportive and has commented on my hair and makeup. She said her only request was that she never wanted to see me in a dress. That was a few years ago, so maybe she thinks differently now. But I am wondering if there are some similar thought patterns here. Maybe it's just the dress is the issue. Talk to her and see what she suggests.

Hugs!

Lori, maybe its time to wear a nice dress and catch up with your best friend!

Spending more time with my brother and his family recently.  They get to see more of me when I'm in a long skirt or dress although not often.

When I stayed for a couple of night at my brothers, I wear a nightie at night.

Living in a household with just girls he is used to it, what us girls wear.  In fact when my laundry got done.  He made fun of my underwear, full briefs

When I was socializing with family, I was conscious of being dressed appropriately, when I caught up with them, in other words I never dressed in a short skirt so to speak for the first time, then again I would not dress that way anyway.

As time progressed I never worried about it any more.  Most of us girls do not really dress in dresses or skirts, in the family.  So go figure.

I hope the Easter dinner went well for you Gina.

Best Wishes and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@Gina P
@LoriDee

[Gina P]

Dinner went well and all are excepting of me. I wore a nice top with butterflies on it and white slacks. Afterwards we went back to my sons home and they want to do a hardscape in thier back yard. "Would you help us?" I surprised myself and them by saying NO! I have enough of my own projects to finish without taking on one of theirs. I surprised myself because I usually find it hard to say no to anyone. 

[Gina P]

We are preparing for the eclipse on Monday. One of my favorite spots to ride, in upstate NY, its in the path of totality. I thought it would be cool to ride out to some obscure lake and watch it from there. I went to Idaho for the last one and the traffic was atrocious when it was over. This time we will arrive a few days early and stay a few days after to ovoid that. I plan to take the camper, living quarter trailer. Now if the weather cooperates? So, far its looking good. 

[Gina P]

The eclipse vacation went well. We rode the horses out 5 miles to a large pond. Tied up the horses, spread an old table cloth on the ground next to a log and watched as the sun got smaller and the clouds got thicker. No great pictures but the quiet of the woods was amazing. My wife exclaimed, "I can hear my heart beating!" It got so dark we could not see each other, then it was over. The 4 days we were there the weather was great and we got along perfectly. 
    She said it will be nice to get home but I didn't share those sentiments. My depression grew as we neared home and after being home for only 5 minutes, I broke down in tears. The bad memories of my family battles just came crashing down. I realize how much I need to move from here. Someday after my transition I hope to.

[LoriDee]

Sometimes it is discomfort that motivates us to make changes in our lives. Sometimes the changes are as painful as the discomfort, but necessary nonetheless. It took me four years of planning to finally leave Illinois and move to South Dakota. I thought my wife was coming with me, but she decided last minute to stay with her old boyfriend instead. I left anyway and never looked back. Painful? Absolutely. Worth it? Absolutely no regrets.

I hope with all my heart that you can find the means to do what you need to do. It is your life and no one can live it for you. You get only one so why not make it a happy experience?

Hugs!

[Gina P]

I went out to get a fishing license yesterday. The clerk helped me as best he could. Asked if I was in the system to which I replied no this is a new one. It always amazes me how men talk to me when they have not clocked me. The voice is softer and the gestures nicer. Anyway since my drivers license is now Gina, SS# is now Gina, I felt there was no reason to out myself. WRONG! The system kept spitting out my old name and would not allow a new name to be entered. I tried doing it online and same results. Argh! Now I have to contact fish and game to change my name on that as well. The name change thing is exhausting and I live in NJ one of the supposedly easier states. Just to give you an idea. First the court, then Social security, DMV for Drivers license, dept. of vital statistics(NJ), bank account- savings, checking, business checking, credit cards, 401k, mortgage, Voter ID, Tax ID for home, Business registration, Business insurance, Business credit cards, insurance on autos, business insurance, homeowners insurance, insurance on vehicles, registration on vehicles and trailers. Oh and health insurance. I'm sure I forgot a few but whew its crazy!

[LoriDee]

I also sent certified copies of the court order to the three credit bureaus (TransUnion, Experian, and Equifax). That helped when it matched up with what everyone else was reporting to them. It is a process that can take months. But you are getting there!

[davina61]

I have been unable to change my mobile phone a/c name, I think due to them not having a system in place.

[LoriDee]

I have Verizon. I walked into the store with my paperwork and a tech changed it on the spot. Can you do something similar with your carrier?

[Sarah B]

Hi Davina

You said;

I have been unable to change my mobile phone a/c name, I think due to them not having a system in place.

They are gate keeping maybe, dragging there heels or could not careless. So;

• I would suggest a new carrier. (take your number with you, if you can)
• Create a new account. (using your existing number, if you can)
• Or use the following information against them

The year is 2024 and this 2018 legislation came into force in 2018.  Oh me Oh my!!!  So use the following;

Data Protection Information and the actual legislation link

Specifically;

Everyone responsible for using personal data has to follow strict rules called 'data protection principles'. They must make sure the information is:

•     used fairly, lawfully and transparently
•     used for specified, explicit purposes
•     used in a way that is adequate, relevant and limited to only what is necessary
•     accurate and, where necessary, kept up to date
•     kept for no longer than is necessary
•     handled in a way that ensures appropriate security, including protection against unlawful or unauthorised processing, access, loss, destruction or damage

and

Under the Data Protection Act 2018, you have the right to find out what information the government and other organisations store about you. These include the right to:

• be informed about how your data is being used
• access personal data
• have incorrect data updated
• have data erased
• stop or restrict the processing of your data
• data portability (allowing you to get and reuse your data for different services)
• object to how your data is processed in certain circumstances

In other words show them shove this legislation under their noses and ask tell them to fix your personal information, politely of course.

I hope this helps you in some small way.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
@davina61