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Live From NY...It's Me :)

Started by JamieInNYC, January 18, 2024, 08:39:54 PM

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JamieInNYC

Most of my collection thus far comes from one of two spots-walmart and amazon.

Cheryl was the one who painted my nails in college. i had a nickname resembling a certain celebrity who was making news for painting his nails, so she was like, lets do it. so there i was at like 19, on a conservative college campus, with metallic blue paint. and that is on our list again

i don't mind trying, but ill be honest-when i would travel, to take all the makeup with me was...a lot...because i just dont know what i want to do or not do, so i bring everything, and then i overpack. and then i get there, and i get lazy. having her to show me, and having her to go have a glass of wine with, knowing that she knows and knowing that she expected it will be cheryl and jamie? that's what i need.

its funny that way. when i came to terms, it was mostly me around the house, without my family knowing, and i was happy getting by with panties under my "normal" clothes. then as i traveled, i hung out in the hotels with jeans and a top, or even a dress. i dabbled more in going more all in. and every time i have, it's kind of like...OK, i need to top that, because doing the little bits like at the beginning aren't cutting it. on one hand, hearing that makes me worry it's more a fetish, but i and my therapist agree it's not. it's more me knowing that i just achieved more happiness than i had before, and anything less than that is just not worth my time. sounds a little crazy, but thats me. which worries me, because i am going to get all dressed, makeup, hair, nails...go OUT with her...and then will i be able to put jamie back in the bottle? and if so...for how long? fun times ahead...
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JamieInNYC

i am kinda overdue, but been busy.

not a whole lot exciting. work stress is high, too many projects and the ones that some folks value most are the ones i've apparently neglected. not a good mix, and this market sucks. yay!

kids are doing all the end of school fun. graduations and other big events, so honestly the focus is on them, as it should be. i have been so busy i have barely chatted with my therapist, but the upside is since coming out to cheryl, having her fully in the loop, it helps quite a bit.

still trying to figure out my next work trip that sends me to philly and overnight. that would mean time w/ her and the ability to pack more of my stuff to have out and about jamie time, which i do feel i need, but i keep it in check well enough, which is a plus.

i know i am at a point where it's sort of an all or nothing thing for me, meaning i get to get all jamie'd up, or i don't bother. there's definitely some mixed emotions in there, and thoughts in general, but i am A-OK.

Upside is after graduations, there is a vacation just for the wife and i (first in a long time) and then family vacation the month after. downside is...that's all my PTO for the year LOL.

JamieInNYC

survived the vacation...and turning around for a quick work trip. not to philly, which means taking Jamie with me is a touch more challenging. but, possibly maybe.

anyone around College Station, TX?
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JamieInNYC

Here's something interesting. multiple layers, not sure what to make of it...

i've been meh about this texas trip. was not planned, not thrilled, just got back from another trip and was ready to be home for a couple weeks. but i was psyching myself up because i rarely get nearly a full week of time to be Jamie as much as I may wish. Not likely during the day job work-best case I could go slightly androgenous, i think?. but after work, at night, etc.

so, i went to storage this morning to pull whatever i wanted to take. it's a bit more challenging for a number of reasons, and i think it got to me.
1-i had not gone in a while, so the locker isn't as tidy as i liked it to be. i really need to find the time to take care of that. like, when i was doing this more often last summer or whenever i got more active with it, i practically had a bag packed with stuff that fit, i liked, and i could grab. not this time.
2-so i got there, i took stock, i tried stuff on, i had stuff picked out. then i got kinda overwhelmed or whatever and i talked myself out of it. i took the bare minimum, basically my nightgowns and some underwear if i decide to go out a bit incognito. i wimped out, I guess...

got home, thought it over a bit, and now i am trying to pysch myself up to go back and get what i need. part of this is going on a plane and trying to pack smart (eventually i have to get stuff back into storage so i have to be smart about my packing). but i could change my luggage and then have my uber make a pit stop, grab some jeans/a skirt and a top or two and maybe the wig and make it more of a fun trip.

decisions decisions....

like at one point i was staring at things and i was ready to get bags and donate everything. and now i am more calm.

anyone else? just me?

JamieInNYC

well...i decided to add the stop. gave myself plenty of time to add a few things, just need to swap luggage and good to go. now, if I don't change my mind one more time it will be a minor miracle
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Lori Dee

I would bring as much as you reasonably can. That gives you options. Better to have it and not use it, than to have a great opportunity and nothing to wear. Why limit yourself? Be free and enjoy the freedom.
My Life is Based on a True Story

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.


2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change / 2024 - Voice Training
  • skype:.?call
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JamieInNYC

On one hand, I told myself... "Jamie, you will have plenty of work to keep you busy after the day tasks". I am there for some surveys for work, and generally when I get back to the hotel, I review the day's findings and prepare notes for the clients. So, I could do that. But then I said...why not do it as Jamie. Even if I don't go out, being me is half the fun.

Granted, going out appeals to me too. I could go crazy and test drive a car (I am shopping, there are dealers nearby and I need to drive some) while dressed more than usual...

but i gave myself ~10-15 minutes. I assume the Lyft driver won't want to wait too long, but it's a sunday AM and not all that busy (and once in my storage, they can't leave without me/a code). Upshot of today's aborted visit, I mostly left the items in the same spots, so grabbing jeans/tops/shoes/wig/makeup should not take too long. I hope.

it means i will probably do nothing, but i will have the options
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JamieInNYC

Wow, I let this one go didn't I? But, I assure you, for some decent reasons.
So since that trip prep, lets see...I was in Texas..then vacation, then sick, then in Texas again, and now here. some stuff skipped over, but lets get into it, shall we?

The first TX trip? Yes, I did go to storage and half my suitcase was Jamie's clothes. yes, i dressed up. i tried to find a hair place to cut my wig, that didn't happen. I did find a lane bryant and they had a younger woman who was super super awesome and i got some nice stuff.

my big moment? i got dressed-jeans, top, shoes, wig-everything but the makeup and nails and such. And took a drive for the better part of two hours to Buccees. In my shyness and given i know TX has an iffy rep, I did take the wig off when i went in. but i def got looks because this girl had boobs.

downside? i did meet someone on a certain male centric mostly hookup app. thought he would be nice, he was not. nothing bad happened, but as soon as we met, there wasnt a click and he was NOT picking up my body language at all.

beyond that, the first texas trip was fun.

then we went on a family vacation, got covid and was basically out of commission for July.

then, back to texas--different part. same plan though, i ran to storage the day i flew, filled half my suitcase with Jamie's clothes and went on my way. but i had a mission or three. first, i knew there was a torrid and a lane bryant. i like shopping, what can i say. but, i also found several wig places, and even in some more conservative spots, they were cool. and...i decided to give waxing a try. then i thought i was going to back out, but then when i decided to cancel, i could not, so i went.

hurt a touch, but nice. made it a nice monday evening, went there, then as luck would have it both stores were right there. LB was a bust, nothing i liked and cranky old dusty women. but i went to torrid, not needing a blessed thing, and it was empty and they had a sale AND there was a girl there, named jamie too, and she was super super chill. i did wish she'd call me, i did call her to thank her for her pajama recommendations. spent like an hour hanging with her, made my night-even counting the wax. tho i must say, waxed and then wearing my nicer undies was an amazing feeling, felt very feminine just going out of the wax place (and the waxer was like a whole new therapist. she was awesome).

the rest of the trip was sadly a bust. tried to meet some peeps, but too many were all talk. did get to a wig place, got some professional advice. downside it was more for older women/breast cancer type needs, so she had nothing on hand for me...but i did get recommendations of brands, what i was looking for, and realize why i will need to spend ~400 on a good one. she also thinks i should go blonde, but we shall see.

and that brings us to about now. after the 2nd trip, things have wound down for the summer-kids started college on monday, little guy goes back next week, its a whole bunch of craziness. but i do have more trips coming in the next couple weeks, so more time to dress and have adventures...i do believe next is either the pricier wig, and/or a makeup session. maybe both. the wig blew me away, to be honest (outside of her putting a gray one on me), because she put it on, and while the sample was too snug, once she put it on, i had no hair in my face, no issues, nothing moved and it looked real. so...winning.
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JamieInNYC

so, traveling for work is a blessing and a curse. yes, more travel is coming.

I have a trip at the beginning of October to Wilmington NC. Been there once earlier this year, nice place, quiet though. My travel this time is wonky, so I actually have a bit of a free evening. And I have myself a few debates, curious what anyone might suggest.

debate one is the easy one (maybe). As it's two nights, but a relatively quick trip, I will be packing light. Really only get to bring Jamie out one evening, so I have to be smart and pick one good outfit.
debate two...do i change to Jamie post-work and go out? And if so, am I going for a wax (I will be beyond overdue). Or do I go find Sephora/Ulta and get myself a lesson/makeover, finally.

either/any of those options, as much as I am flying solo and love the idea of a wing chick, I am seriously considering going full Jamie and embracing it for a night.

which gets my last debate, which should probably go before all these...which is. i have to settle on a wig (IMHO, now that i've tried on a really nice wig, i need that fit and finish, and if i had one, i do believe i would be a lot more inspired to step out. i am supposed to go to Philly this week and next and between here and there I have found a few places that carry or should carry the style and brand...so that's the lynch pin, I think.

and i came to all this for a couple reasons.
one, every time i go away, i try to meet someone on an LGBT dating/hookup app, and all that ever happens is i talk, get hopes up and then it fizzles and i stayed up way too late to be alone.
two, when i went to texas, the best evening i had i went to the wax center, got cleaned up and then went out shopping for more stuff and hung out at torrid for an hour talking to a friendly saleswoman.

might not be as nice as snuggling or going out to dinner, but i figure i need the makeover tips and those options are nothing but sure things.
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Lori Dee

Quote from: JamieInNYC on September 23, 2024, 09:38:35 PMone, every time i go away, i try to meet someone on an LGBT dating/hookup app, and all that ever happens is i talk, get hopes up and then it fizzles and i stayed up way too late to be alone.

Have you tried playing "hard to get"? Definitely meet up, but let them do the talking. Mystery is sexy. Answer questions but be brief, then turn it around and ask, "What about you...?" And let them talk more while you just listen. Being a good listener is sexy too and could lead to cuddles.  ;)
My Life is Based on a True Story

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.


2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change / 2024 - Voice Training
  • skype:.?call
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JamieInNYC

Most just talk, want pictures and then string me along. I've met one in the last year or so of trying, and it was one of those where it was way too late so i should have said no...but i wanted to meet someone, and i was all dressed up. so, it felt like a big step...but once he got there, he was not as advertised. dunno if it was a filter or an older picture or what, but it wasn't what i was expecting, and there was like...zero chemistry. worse, he couldn't pick up on it or was hoping i'd be a good gal and give him some fun anyways. and then when he was just talking, his topics of conversation were the absolute worst.


Paulie

Hi  Jamie,
I'm married so your option 2 would be my option of choice.  I'm pretty sure even if I were single, I'd still opt for option 2.  I was never comfortable on the dating/hookup scene even in my home town.  Being is a strange city would just make me that much more un-comfortable, nervous, scared.
 
I do like traveling for work when it gives me a chance to go out in the evening as "me".  I'll be traveling the first week of October too.  Unfortunately I'm not going to get a chance to get out.  Usually I'm visiting Las Vegas where my coworkers and our customers live.  So at the end of the day, they go home and I stay at a casino where I can go out as me and spend time is a busy public venue where no one bothers me or even notices me.
 
This trip is to another city and there will be 3 of us.  Two from Las Vegas and myself, and we'll all be staying at the customers casino.  I'm going to pack some stuff, but I expect I'll only get to wear a night gown on this trip, and I can do that at home.

Whatever option you go with Jamie, I hope you have a grand time.  Oh, and I hope you find a really nice wig too.

Paulie.



JamieInNYC

that is always one of my challenges-who could i/might i see who knows me. home, its all but no way. i have dressed, but always only underwear around here. once i progressed to more femme and more clothing, i have sort of an all or not at all approach, which basically limits me to travel at the moment. but, in that thought, one of my texas trips was fine and i did indeed leave my room, twice, fully dressed minus makeup and some padding. but the last one, i was in the same hotel as a number of other people, including one a few doors down from me. this isn't how i want to out myself...

philly is generally OK, because i see the clients and then they go home. i have even worn undies/camis to the office and even a trade show (and it was a lot better than i had thought). but its still a process

that said, i just booked a wig appointment for next wednesday. challenge is, its 930am, and i probably should be at an office, but for now it is booked and i will figure the rest out later.
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JamieInNYC

no shock, but i had to pivot again. work plans for next week changed, as did my schedule for my trip to north carolina. so...I saw a different opportunity.

i found a place in Wilmington, she's getting me in shortly after I land. funny lady too, she was very polite and accepting but also careful because when i call i generally still give my male name, and though i hate my voice, i am also not trying to make it feminine much yet. but, once she got it, she was fun. so that should be monday, before i have to go to dinner with a client. no, won't wear whatever i purchase...that would be gutsy tho lol
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JamieInNYC

Well, NC was...fun? i think. Yes, I shall call it fun.

Flight in was delayed, but fortunately not so delayed I'd have to cancel the wig visit. That already happened to me once this year (Phoenix), so not this time. Instead, it actually worked out to where instead of having a couple hours to kill, I got off the plane and went right to the shop.

Older mother and daughter (I'd say the mom would be older than my mom, and her daughter probably older than my oldest sister). everyone in there wears wigs, she had like 1000s to show off. went in, sat down, spent an hour there. looked at/tried on probably 8 or 10. she knew kind of the style and color i went in for. i tried on the one i had wanted, that i knew had a large cap. either it wasn't that large, or wasn't the large cap variant, but it was not good (like, giving me a headache). but the first one we tried, which i did not like when i tried it? that wound up being the winner. pics will come later, but instead of a redhead for this one, i got a salted caramel option (id call it brunette with blonde highlights)
so, cost me more than i expected (I'd hoped based on prices I saw online that i could net 2 for around what i spent on this one). but, she spent an hour with me tryign them on, explaining things. she cut it slightly to suit me better and did some other adjustments, and if ever i need it washed/fixed, she will handle it as part of the deal. downside is, i am not there in NC every week, it's more like every couple months...but the wig wont need that much maintenance, either. plus, if i did need to go there, it's less than a 2 hour flight...

on top of that, did more waxing, different woman (obviously). she was a bit rougher than the first, but just as nice and friendly and all that. she actually decided i needed to wax more of my bikini line, and i don't hate it lol.

i had some date options, the opportunity was kinda there, but i guess i chickened out. or, as ive said before here (or on my old blog on the old site), i may identify as female, but for the most part, i am still attracted to females. IE, i know im not gay, because i have no attraction to men. as i take hormones, maybe that changes, but i guess i need to start finding women into trans women or something, if at all.

all in all, not a bad week. i laughed too, because i packed my one small roll-a-board carryon deal. i would say 75% of the suitcase was Jamie's clothes.
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JamieInNYC

just one of a few shots. no makeup, that is one on my list still. either to try myself or spend for a lesson or two
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Sephirah

You have to hand it to New Yorkers. They have the big brains to deal with most stuff. Love you folks in the north of the US. <3 You laugh at Donald Trump like the rest of the free thinking world.
Natura nihil frustra facit.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ~ Buddha.

If you're dealing with self esteem issues, maybe click here. There may be something you find useful. :)
Above all... remember: you are beautiful, you are valuable, and you have a shining spark of magnificence within you. Don't let anyone take that from you. Embrace who you are. <3
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Lori Dee

Quote from: JamieInNYC on October 12, 2024, 09:02:26 PMjust one of a few shots. no makeup, that is one on my list still. either to try myself or spend for a lesson or two

That cut and color suits you.

I love it!
My Life is Based on a True Story

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.


2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - FFS & Legal Name Change / 2024 - Voice Training
  • skype:.?call
  •  

JamieInNYC

thank you.
i have pictures of most of the other ones. I wanted a red (the one i had before that i liked was a red, but a cheap amazon one). the one i went in wanting, she showed me more of a brunette. officially, by birth, i had brown hair. so, when i put it the straight one one that was just brown, i wasn't thrilled, but i didn't hate it--my response to my bff and to the wig woman was. "i look like my sisters" which, for what i am after, is not the worst thing to say, really. it was funny, the second time around it was like, you know, i dig it. i couldn't believe it because the first time around i was like...nope.

upside with wigs, i can have different styles. downside with wigs, not my own hair, can't go swimming with one (i don't think?). but im a ways away from swimming in a bikini and wanting the hair
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JamieInNYC

this was the cut/style i went in wanting, but not the color (i had eyed blondes and reds for this too). but, wig woman said it was too plain (i don't disagree) and ultimately, the cap was way too snug. but if ever i find it in a larger cap, it doesn't bother me, it would be my "natural" color
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