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Live From NY...It's Me :)

Started by JamieInNYC, January 18, 2024, 08:39:54 PM

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JamieInNYC

Most of my collection thus far comes from one of two spots-walmart and amazon.

Cheryl was the one who painted my nails in college. i had a nickname resembling a certain celebrity who was making news for painting his nails, so she was like, lets do it. so there i was at like 19, on a conservative college campus, with metallic blue paint. and that is on our list again

i don't mind trying, but ill be honest-when i would travel, to take all the makeup with me was...a lot...because i just dont know what i want to do or not do, so i bring everything, and then i overpack. and then i get there, and i get lazy. having her to show me, and having her to go have a glass of wine with, knowing that she knows and knowing that she expected it will be cheryl and jamie? that's what i need.

its funny that way. when i came to terms, it was mostly me around the house, without my family knowing, and i was happy getting by with panties under my "normal" clothes. then as i traveled, i hung out in the hotels with jeans and a top, or even a dress. i dabbled more in going more all in. and every time i have, it's kind of like...OK, i need to top that, because doing the little bits like at the beginning aren't cutting it. on one hand, hearing that makes me worry it's more a fetish, but i and my therapist agree it's not. it's more me knowing that i just achieved more happiness than i had before, and anything less than that is just not worth my time. sounds a little crazy, but thats me. which worries me, because i am going to get all dressed, makeup, hair, nails...go OUT with her...and then will i be able to put jamie back in the bottle? and if so...for how long? fun times ahead...
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JamieInNYC

i am kinda overdue, but been busy.

not a whole lot exciting. work stress is high, too many projects and the ones that some folks value most are the ones i've apparently neglected. not a good mix, and this market sucks. yay!

kids are doing all the end of school fun. graduations and other big events, so honestly the focus is on them, as it should be. i have been so busy i have barely chatted with my therapist, but the upside is since coming out to cheryl, having her fully in the loop, it helps quite a bit.

still trying to figure out my next work trip that sends me to philly and overnight. that would mean time w/ her and the ability to pack more of my stuff to have out and about jamie time, which i do feel i need, but i keep it in check well enough, which is a plus.

i know i am at a point where it's sort of an all or nothing thing for me, meaning i get to get all jamie'd up, or i don't bother. there's definitely some mixed emotions in there, and thoughts in general, but i am A-OK.

Upside is after graduations, there is a vacation just for the wife and i (first in a long time) and then family vacation the month after. downside is...that's all my PTO for the year LOL.

JamieInNYC

survived the vacation...and turning around for a quick work trip. not to philly, which means taking Jamie with me is a touch more challenging. but, possibly maybe.

anyone around College Station, TX?
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JamieInNYC

Here's something interesting. multiple layers, not sure what to make of it...

i've been meh about this texas trip. was not planned, not thrilled, just got back from another trip and was ready to be home for a couple weeks. but i was psyching myself up because i rarely get nearly a full week of time to be Jamie as much as I may wish. Not likely during the day job work-best case I could go slightly androgenous, i think?. but after work, at night, etc.

so, i went to storage this morning to pull whatever i wanted to take. it's a bit more challenging for a number of reasons, and i think it got to me.
1-i had not gone in a while, so the locker isn't as tidy as i liked it to be. i really need to find the time to take care of that. like, when i was doing this more often last summer or whenever i got more active with it, i practically had a bag packed with stuff that fit, i liked, and i could grab. not this time.
2-so i got there, i took stock, i tried stuff on, i had stuff picked out. then i got kinda overwhelmed or whatever and i talked myself out of it. i took the bare minimum, basically my nightgowns and some underwear if i decide to go out a bit incognito. i wimped out, I guess...

got home, thought it over a bit, and now i am trying to pysch myself up to go back and get what i need. part of this is going on a plane and trying to pack smart (eventually i have to get stuff back into storage so i have to be smart about my packing). but i could change my luggage and then have my uber make a pit stop, grab some jeans/a skirt and a top or two and maybe the wig and make it more of a fun trip.

decisions decisions....

like at one point i was staring at things and i was ready to get bags and donate everything. and now i am more calm.

anyone else? just me?

JamieInNYC

well...i decided to add the stop. gave myself plenty of time to add a few things, just need to swap luggage and good to go. now, if I don't change my mind one more time it will be a minor miracle
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LoriDee

I would bring as much as you reasonably can. That gives you options. Better to have it and not use it, than to have a great opportunity and nothing to wear. Why limit yourself? Be free and enjoy the freedom.
My Life is Based on a True Story.
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247442.0.html

Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything.
Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you,
so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.


2017 - GD Diagnosis / 2020 - HRT / 2022 - Legal Name Change / 2024 - Voice Training
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JamieInNYC

On one hand, I told myself... "Jamie, you will have plenty of work to keep you busy after the day tasks". I am there for some surveys for work, and generally when I get back to the hotel, I review the day's findings and prepare notes for the clients. So, I could do that. But then I said...why not do it as Jamie. Even if I don't go out, being me is half the fun.

Granted, going out appeals to me too. I could go crazy and test drive a car (I am shopping, there are dealers nearby and I need to drive some) while dressed more than usual...

but i gave myself ~10-15 minutes. I assume the Lyft driver won't want to wait too long, but it's a sunday AM and not all that busy (and once in my storage, they can't leave without me/a code). Upshot of today's aborted visit, I mostly left the items in the same spots, so grabbing jeans/tops/shoes/wig/makeup should not take too long. I hope.

it means i will probably do nothing, but i will have the options
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