Live From NY...It's Me :)

[JamieInNYC]

Most of my collection thus far comes from one of two spots-walmart and amazon.

Cheryl was the one who painted my nails in college. i had a nickname resembling a certain celebrity who was making news for painting his nails, so she was like, lets do it. so there i was at like 19, on a conservative college campus, with metallic blue paint. and that is on our list again

i don't mind trying, but ill be honest-when i would travel, to take all the makeup with me was...a lot...because i just dont know what i want to do or not do, so i bring everything, and then i overpack. and then i get there, and i get lazy. having her to show me, and having her to go have a glass of wine with, knowing that she knows and knowing that she expected it will be cheryl and jamie? that's what i need.

its funny that way. when i came to terms, it was mostly me around the house, without my family knowing, and i was happy getting by with panties under my "normal" clothes. then as i traveled, i hung out in the hotels with jeans and a top, or even a dress. i dabbled more in going more all in. and every time i have, it's kind of like...OK, i need to top that, because doing the little bits like at the beginning aren't cutting it. on one hand, hearing that makes me worry it's more a fetish, but i and my therapist agree it's not. it's more me knowing that i just achieved more happiness than i had before, and anything less than that is just not worth my time. sounds a little crazy, but thats me. which worries me, because i am going to get all dressed, makeup, hair, nails...go OUT with her...and then will i be able to put jamie back in the bottle? and if so...for how long? fun times ahead...

[JamieInNYC]

i am kinda overdue, but been busy.

not a whole lot exciting. work stress is high, too many projects and the ones that some folks value most are the ones i've apparently neglected. not a good mix, and this market sucks. yay!

kids are doing all the end of school fun. graduations and other big events, so honestly the focus is on them, as it should be. i have been so busy i have barely chatted with my therapist, but the upside is since coming out to cheryl, having her fully in the loop, it helps quite a bit.

still trying to figure out my next work trip that sends me to philly and overnight. that would mean time w/ her and the ability to pack more of my stuff to have out and about jamie time, which i do feel i need, but i keep it in check well enough, which is a plus.

i know i am at a point where it's sort of an all or nothing thing for me, meaning i get to get all jamie'd up, or i don't bother. there's definitely some mixed emotions in there, and thoughts in general, but i am A-OK.

Upside is after graduations, there is a vacation just for the wife and i (first in a long time) and then family vacation the month after. downside is...that's all my PTO for the year LOL.