Am i non binary

[Leo1997]

Hi everyone, i wanted to really ask for some advice about identity and how you all came to realise what you really identify as?

A few years ago i first came here under my original account which seems to have been lost asking for advice as to whether i was a transgender woman, but more recently I've began to wonder if i may closer identify with a non binary identity?

I really appreciate it is hard to tell how another person feels internally, but what i really wanted to ask if anyone could share their story on how they became aware that they themselves were non binary, so i can begin to try to understand what i am feeling more clearly

Thanks as always! Leo

[LoriDee]

Hello Leo,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome back to Susan's Place!

Many accounts were lost due to a server crash back in January. Our Admin, Danielle can look to see if your old account and previous posts can be recovered. As for the question "Am I non-binary" that is something you might have to answer for yourself. I am no expert when it comes to that area. Non-binary seems to include anyone who does not perceive themselves as male or female, but I believe it also includes those who may be gender fluid -- switching between genders. We have members here who can help you answer that question better than I.

As you know, we strive to make this a safe place to find information and to share your thoughts and comments. We all come from different backgrounds and represent a wide range of experiences. No matter who you may be, you are always welcome at Susan's Place.

We would like to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum and introduce yourself and tell us something about you.

The site has changed since the crash and our team is working to restore old accounts, move things around so they make more sense, and make them easier to find. Please review the links at the end of this message, they include information that will help you navigate the site and use the available features. When you reach 15 posts, you will be able to send and reply to private messages and you will also be able to add an avatar to your profile. If Danielle can restore old posts, you will hit those 15 posts much quicker.  Until then if you have any questions about the Susan's Place site and the Forums, please feel free to contact me at  LoriDee605@outlook.com

Once again, Welcome back to Susan's Place!

~ Lori Dee

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@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

[Asche]

I've known since I was a child that I didn't fit the usual picture of "male."  I kept rejecting (in my mind) the whole bunch of ridiculous expectations put on people assigned male, and adjusted to them as little as I could get away with.  As I grew older, I saw more and more of what girls and women face, and thought most of it was garbage, too.  (I became a feminist pretty much as soon as I learned about it.)

Once I saw that I might be trans and that transition was possible for me, I started on that road.  I think of myself as a refugee from "Manistan" fleeing to "Femininia."   I now live as a woman, but only to the extent I feel like -- one thing feminism has done is widen the spectrum of what women are expected to be.

But I don't say that I have become a woman, any more than a refugee in the USA becomes a native-born (US) American.  As for "identifying" as a woman -- I don't even understand what that would mean.  I'm me, but being male or female (or non-binary) aren't essential parts of who I am.  They're just how I have to relate to a world ruled by the gender binary.  I fit myself into the female role because it fits better than the male role ever did, but it's not "who I am."

That's why I call myself non-binary.   I've also noticed that I feel a lot more at home among non-binary people than among the binary trans folks -- it seems like a lot of binary trans folks are obsessed with stuff I don't care about.

[Sarah B]

Hello Leo

My name is Sarah B and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

Hi everyone, i wanted to really ask for some advice about identity and how you all came to realise what you really identify as?

I never questioned my identity and I still don't know why to this day.  I suppose I should have, may be I just accepted myself as I am.  Maybe it was the time, where this information was not around, so I was not constantly asking who I am.  In my case, I have always wanted or longed to be a female, more so between the years 1980 and 1988.  I changed my life around in 1989 and it was not until 2010 that I realised I had always been a female.  I only found this out from Susan's.  So in the long run I never worried about my identity and I still don't till this day.  I'm just me!

A few years ago i first came here under my original account which seems to have been lost asking for advice as to whether i was a transgender woman, but more recently I've began to wonder if i may closer identify with a non binary identity?

Danielle our Forum Administrator, if anyone might be able to find your lost account.  She will ask you for some information privately, so as to help you in this area.

To be able to answer your question, you will need to seek the services of a psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist that deals with 'gender' issues and only you will able to determine, who you really are.

I really appreciate it is hard to tell how another person feels internally, but what i really wanted to ask if anyone could share their story on how they became aware that they themselves were non binary, so i can begin to try to understand what i am feeling more clearly

Thanks as always! Leo

You are more than welcome as Susan's Place is a place where you can seek out the answers you seek, to find out who you are.

Yes, you are right and only a trained 'therapist' with many years experience, would be able to come close to being able to tell how a person feels internally after many sessions of course and even then still would be able to say definitely how you really feel about yourself and only you will be able to make that final decision on who you really are.

Unfortunately I'm unable to help you on the non binary issue, as I'm just a female.  In addition there are members of Susan's who will more than likely will be able to discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as there are members who have experienced these problems or issues that you are having as well.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the various forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new and returning members.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@Leo1997

[Maid Marion]

I consider myself female but most people would say I'm non binary since I'm non op and non HRT.
I socialize freely presenting as female, having a passable figure, voice, and mannerisms.
Which means that even if I identify as male on the phone or in person, the other person will often recognize me as female and identify me as female, forgetting what they knew or what they were told!

It took me a long time to realize that trying to present as a male was futile, that only put in the uncanny valley that made people uncomfortable.
Fortunately I live in New England, where folks are cool with people outside the binary!
I recall an openly transgender girl at a party back around 1987.  A long time ago in New England.
Now Connecticut has gender protection laws.

[Maid Marion]

A lot of GGs talk about wanting to be different.
If they have stick straight hair they want to have curly hair.
If they have curly hair they want it to be straight.

Then there are critics who want the impossible.
TaylorSwift has talked openly about them.
When it comes to relationships you want someone who likes you just the way you are.
Not what you could or should become.

If you have severe body issues those need to be addressed.
But I don't have them.  I've posted a picture wearing a 2 piece bikini!