Questioning and feeling reverse dysphoria, NB?

[isgenderreal]

I never liked my facial hair growing up, and have been on and off hormones, even did FFS on my chin (remove a cleft) and nose to make it slightly more feminine and some cheek fat grafting,

I am a male born person. I did laser on face, arms, legs,  butt, body. While Im fine with that, Ive been feeling depressed about how patchy the facial hair is and wondering if going off estrogen completely would help. If I decide I do want to present more masculine would it mean hair transplants or would enough time back on testerone help at least make it a little bit better? Im just trying to understand my options before booking something like beard hair implants.
Im still back on forth, but considering I always dressed masculine even after estrogen, seems like being more nonbinary would be easier.  My wife likes facial hair and Ive gotten more comfortable with lietting it grow though its patchy and depressing.
I am also considering breast removal to make it easier present more neutral instead of the A cups that just bother me when i lift weights and run. 

Has anyone gone down this path or know much about shifting back to more masculine appearance?

[Oldandcreaky]

I'd spend your money in therapy, not surgery, to determine the life you should live.

[imallie]

Yes, I think you need to take time to be good with yourself inside ... and then if you still feel the need to address external issues? Revisit it.

Facial hair is a notoriously whimsical thing for men... going from mustache, to short beard to full beard, to clean shaven, then back, etc... each one of them is completely validly male.

I hope you can talk about this with someone who can help you get to the answers you need.

Love,
Allie

[Northern Star Girl]

@isgenderreal
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[Northern Star Girl]

@isgenderreal
Dear isgenderreal:
I have moved your thread and topic to the Non-Binary talk sub-forum
where you will most likely find more of our members that can identify with
you and with your gender questions as you travel in your life journey.

I think that you could benefit from seeing a therapist, especially one
that is knowledgeable with gender issues... they could help you to
work through your questions and your possible next steps.

I wish you well in your life journey and I hope that you find success and happiness.

Warm Regards,
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

[jamieh]

I'd spend your money in therapy, not surgery, to determine the life you should live.

I second this.  Seems you have a lot of confusion and I don't think physical changes are going to help you figure it out.

Also if you've done laser on your face, going off E and back on T won't help.  Laser destroyed those follicles. Once they're gone, they're gon.  You could do transplants but that's a lot of money and how certain are you that you won't be wanting to laser them off again next year?

Find a good therapist and put a lot of work in and see if you can get more clarity before moving forward.  That's just my 2 cents.