Even though Christine already knows my story, I feel obligated to answer the questions...
Have you came out at work and how were you received?
I came out at work on Friday, 16 Feb, 2018. The following Monday, I went to work as Jessica. I got my new ID badge as soon as the security office opened, at first they couldn't understand why my old badge looked like someone else. Everyone was awesome (well, almost everyone), even the women in the ladies room would talk to me!
Did you stay with your employer or did you move on?
I still work for Progressive, and they even allowed me to relocate and keep the same position. I've been working on the same team since they hired me in 2006.
Would you have handled the situation differently?
The first person I came out to at work was my manager, and his response was perfect. He asked about getting HR involved, and I agreed. They let me set the timetable for how I wanted to proceed. The only bad part was that I wanted to come out to a co-worker, and I chose poorly. Initially she was really supportive, but in that critical week just before I came out, she turned on me. I should have chosen more carefully.
Did you make your appearance change slowly or did you make it a one day radical appearance change?
I had started wearing women's jeans months before I came out, along with letting my hair grow. Only one person asked about my hair. Other than that, I didn't make any changes until I went full-time.
What was the good and bad of you coming out when you did? Do you think your actions made it easier for others to come out there?
I was already aware of a few people at Progressive who had come out, but I had never met any of them. My company celebrates National Coming Out Day every year, and I had the opportunity to present my story live. During the years since, I've had several people tell me that my story gave them the strength to come out.
Were you financially prepared in case your coming out resulted in an unpleasant situation and it would be better to move on?
Not really. I had researched our companies policies on transitioning, and I knew they would be supportive. I figured that I would actually be more 'protected', and it would be difficult for them to let me go unless I royally screwed up.
How far along in your transition were you when you came out at work?
I started HRT in March 2017, and I came out 11 months later.
Did you move to another city before coming out at work, or apply openly for a new job in your correct gender instead of where your worked for awhile?
Same job, and initially same location. During COVID-19 they had everyone working from home, and I began hearing that they were allowing some people to relocate to remote locations (not near an existing office). My mom had recently passed away, and I asked if I could move closer to my dad so we could help him stay in the house he had shared with mom -- they approved my request.
Did you get any hazing at work?
No hazing at all. I had a few people who didn't stop by to chat as often as they used to, but I also made many new friends at work. I never felt alone there.
Did they tell you they knew you were transitioning before you disclosed this fact?
A week before I came out, a friend said 'I don't know what you're doing, but you sure have been a lot happier lately.' When I did come out, I sent an email to nearly 70 co-workers. The subject line was 'I bet you didn't see this coming...' No one contradicted that statement, it was a complete surprise.
If you have not came out at work, what is stopping you?
The main thing that slowed me down was simply fear about how people would react. In reality, the source of my fear was my imagination.
Was your employer about the last to whom you came out, that is, did you inform friends and family beforehand?
I came out to my immediate family first (wife and daughters), then I came out at work, and a widening circle of friends. Just about the last group I came out to were my own parents and brothers. They lived nearly 1000 miles away, so it was easy to hide from them.
The most inspirational coming out experience that I have known is that of Jessica Rose. Thank you Jess for sharing that in the past with us.
Thanks Christine!
Love always -- Jess