What's Accomplished?

[Berliegh]

About 99% of the time I agree with the more 'stealthy' responders in what they say. One transitions, when MTF, to being a woman. Not a trans-woman, not a TS, not a gender-queer. Otherwise, seems to me, that the entire movement is absolutely pointless.

That 1% of the time disagreement is mostly made-up of angry, in-your-face attitudes toward those who are different.

No, transitioning was not 'fun;' it was scary for awhile. A really big deal for me. Some of the after-effects were not fun either, but, except for government things, those are past. And so do not affect my daily life.

I have no wish to be 'seen as transsexual.' Is that a form of 'internalized transphobia?' Don't know, don't care. If someone is bothered by me stating that I am female, have always been and now I am 'read' as female does that affect me? Not on your life. It obviously DOES affect them and it's up to them to find what is bothering them and why. Not my problem.

Nichole

Nicole, great post!......especially this bit...I would write something exactely like that and have done in here before and got blasted for it......why because it's right on the money and some people seem to have a problem with that...but it sums everything up very acurately.....

[Julie Marie]

I think most any TS would love to be able to transition into stealth.  After all, why would anyone WANT to expose themselves to prejudice, hatred, discrimination and intolerance?  The problem is not everyone can live in stealth.  Now we could say, "Gee too bad for you" and walk into our stealthy lives, but is that what we want?  Susan Stanton recently took that position and look what happened to her.  The majority of us don't want to leave anyone behind. 

I'm sure many who leave the trans world (because they can) never think "too bad for you" but I do know transwomen who simply don't want to turn their world upside down by coming out as a transsexual.  That's perfectly understandable.  Still, I find myself troubled by the fact there are some who will never be able to be stealth.  And if we don't do something to change public opinion they will have very tough lives while those who were blessed live peacefully in stealth.

We all can relate to what it's like having a mind-body gender conflict.  And we all know society can be very cruel when they know this.  So I believe for those who can live in stealth their hearts go out to those who can't.  But what does one do?  How can we live in stealth and still show the public there are a lot of us out there living very normal lives?

We want to change the negative stigma society has of us.  That change can only happen when people who live, work and interact with us see we are just ordinary people with an extraordinary challenge.  But if you are totally stealth how can you do this without outing yourself?  It's a catch 22.

I don't have an answer but I feel deeply for our brothers and sisters who will never know stealth.  And I want to do what I can to make their lives better.  If we can accomplish that won't it eventually make every one's life better?

Julie