Allie's Blog IV: Revenge of Allie's Blog

[imallie]

Had quite the conversation with a friend today. He's probably my closest friend... or at least the one I speak to most often (like almost on a daily basis, if not more).

When I sent the letter the call we had the next morning was incredible, and since then we've been back in our regular routine.

But today, and I think this was probably because we were talking about this weekend and I reminded him that Saturday was "hair day"... he suddenly was a question machine. And it was pretty hilarious.

It started with "Oh yeah... so I have to get used to you with hair soon, huh?" And went on to...
"When are you going to start wearing skirts?" (I replied "when are YOU going to start wearing skirts?" 😂) and when I told him I didn't think skirts would be part of my wardrobe he asked "don't you want to show off your legs?"

He asked about bathroom use in public... he asked what shoes I'm going to wear... I mean, it was 20 minutes of this... Every minute or so he'd say "It's ok that I'm asking all these questions?" And I'd always say "Sure, no problem" and I really meant it... because the questions were really being asked with such love and curiosity.

It's hard to describe. I hope people don't think this conversation was intrusive. And maybe in other relationships it would be. But for me, for us, it was really on brand and it was really the kind of thing that filled my tank for a bit, you know?

Love,
Allie

[LoriDee]

I never have a problem with questions like that. It is just small talk between friends and they ask because they are interested and truly want to understand. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

[imallie]

I never have a problem with questions like that. It is just small talk between friends and they ask because they are interested and truly want to understand. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

Oh I couldn't agree more. But I do know everyone doesn't feel that way.

And you know what? This just sort of dawned on me. I think back to just a few months ago, to my entire life before letting people know about the real me... I think I very much was less casual about being asked such personal questions.

I don't think people knew it (obviously), but I was always concerned I might inadvertently say something that would show my cards, so to speak. So it was always about what could I say, without really saying everything. And I think it probably led to a lot of flippant, sarcastic and humerous answers... and me using my ability to redirect a conversation away from anything potentially too probing.

The result is that I think I missed out on a level of closeness with people. I do have a number of close friends. But I wonder how much deeper those relationships would have been by now. Just by my friend's 20-questions and my open-book responses ... I think there's a lot to look forward to in the future.

[Oldandcreaky]

Lovely, Allie.

[imallie]

Lovely, Allie.

Thank you. Just honest, I think. I do think that is the kind of stuff I'm most looking forward to in all of this. It's not the trappings of "femininity" -- I mean, who defines that anyway? -- it's the way my relationship to the world at large, and more specifically my little corner of it, will be changed and enriched.

[LoriDee]

I agree, Allie.

I think it has to do with honesty. Being honest with ourselves helps us be a better person, which improves the world... one person at a time.

[Oldandcreaky]

it's the way my relationship to the world at large

Spot on.

[davina61]

Yes the first time I turned up at hot rod club in a dress threw a few to start with even though they all knew, no problem now and get nice comments from the wives/girl friends as well. Shopping today so jeans and a long flower pattern top, its chill by the freezer section!!!