Hi SophieMy name is
Sarah B and I would like to say, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
We strive to make this a safe place for you and everyone to find information and to share your thoughts and comments regarding your journey.
Quote from: TwilightSophie on March 03, 2024, 04:30:07 PMHi there!
I made an account here some 10+ years ago, under a different name. Back then I wasn't really sure of my feelings. I had a couple of moments in the intervening years, bought some clothes, had to get rid of them, and spoke in IRC once or twice. While nothing came of it, I kind of knew there was a very high chance I would snap eventually.
I came to Susan's after being in the woodwork for over 20 years, I made an account, and after 2 years, I moved on and it's only recently that I have come back to Susan's to do some research and currently I'm helping out.
I brought my clothes over a period of 10 years and I never got rid of them as they helped me in changing my life around. Why did you get rid of them? It looks like you have an inner sense of what will happen and what you want, without realizing it. I have a similar outlook as well and I never questioned myself, in wanting to be a female. I never faltered in what I did and hence the chance of me snapping did not cross my mind.
Quote from: TwilightSophie on March 03, 2024, 04:30:07 PMThis time was different. I really feel it so strongly. I'm as certain as I can be that I'm a woman now, and I'm ready to begin that journey. Waiting on clinics to get back to me now.
The years 1987 and 1988, like you, really started to get stronger and stronger, that constant longing and wanting to a female and I turned my life around in 1989 and I have never looked back. I never had help, however you do, so please ask and anyone around who can, will help you if they can. There is a term called 'Informed Consent', so please keep this in mind and if you do you will be able to begin your journey with a sound footing.
Quote from: TwilightSophie on March 03, 2024, 04:30:07 PMI came out to my friends, and my brother. Been myself around them both now. My friends have been amazing (some of them are trans and helped me very directly), and it's a great feeling being a sister at last!
I never came out and I still never come out to anyone. My family knows and it was my uncle who knew about me told my mum and Chinese Whispers ensued. I'm lucky, very lucky that my family loves me unconditionally and I'm happy with that. It's good to hear that you have friends who accept you for who you are. Go sister!
Quote from: TwilightSophie on March 03, 2024, 04:30:07 PMSince coming to terms with it, I've realized so many things about myself. In hindsight it really goes back into my childhood. Without being all that feminine, I had a real fear that people would think of me that way. Why? I was hiding. Hiding something I wasn't sure of. Now I know what it was.
I knew of several incidents as a child, that I wanted or longed, to be a girl and yet I had an innate sense that I had to keep my thoughts to myself, so yes I was hiding just like you. In those days, it was not safe to be out. I learnt when I joined Susan's that I was always a female. I was so naive at that time at least you have learned earlier on that you are female.
Quote from: TwilightSophie on March 03, 2024, 04:30:07 PMI haven't told my parents yet, planning to soon. It's not an ideal thing to do, I still live with them at nearly 30, but if push comes to shove I could find a way to support myself. This is my life, I want to live it as the girl I want to be, and I won't let anyone stop me. They've been supportive of most other things, I hope they will take this well.
I live with my mum basically until I was 30 and I never told her about me, as I said my uncle told my mum after I left my family and friends. When I did catch up with my mum 3 years after my surgery and when she saw me she said, "I missed you so much". I will always love her for that.
In a sense without thinking about it, I did not want anyone in my family from stopping me from doing what I want, especially my surgery. I moved 4,000km away so they were unable to stop me anyway. My uncle wanted to be there and circumstances prevented him and me, from being there at my surgery. So always have a backup plan no matter what you do and be able to move out if things go south. I hope your parents support you in your journey. Some how in a round about way bring the subject of 'transgender' up and see what their reaction is. Then you will be able to plan accordingly.
Quote from: TwilightSophie on March 03, 2024, 04:30:07 PMAnyway, It's good to be back, and not needing to hide myself (as much) any more.
I know also it's good to be back as well as I'm learning new things here at Susan's and this is the only place where I can talk about my 'condition'. There are a few family members who do know the full story of me. I always say to them in that case, that they can ask me any question about what I did in relation to how I changed my life around.
Take care, look after yourself and I hope to see you again and I will certainly appreciate listening to stories about yourself and your journey.
Best Wishes and HugsSarah B
