How did you, as a MTF, really know that you are a woman?

[ChrissyRyan]

How did you, as a MTF, really know that you are a woman?
I mean, how did you really become to know you are a woman and not a confused AMAB (assigned male at birth) male?  Did it take gender therapy to clear things up?

I was pretty sure about this but I have found that gender therapy was very helpful to clarify these important related matters and concerns.  Then my MTF journey began in earnest, although going forward and back at times, and stalling, but making overall forward progress.

Hugs,

Chrissy

[LoriDee]

I have always just known, but it was never something I discussed with anyone. When I got into therapy originally it was because I had a Hypnotherapy practice. When you are helping others with their burdens, you need to be able to unload them. It is a sort of mandate of the career field. Therapists see a therapist, psychologists see a psychologist, and psychiatrists see a psychiatrist. It also offers the benefit of having a mentor to advise you in situations where you might be unclear about how to help your patient.

I sold the practice, divorced wife #3, and moved to South Dakota for a fresh start. I got into therapy here in case I decided to start up my practice again and to figure out why I have problems in relationships. After several therapists, I started seeing a Psychologist at the VA. We started digging deep into what was going on with me. I did not reveal my secret at first, but he was able to piece together various incidents from my past and suggested Gender Dysphoria. It took two more years of therapy to understand what he was saying and accept that he hit the nail on the head.

From that point on it was just a matter of learning what all of this means and how to navigate this thing called "transition".

And away we go...

[ChrissyRyan]

I have always just known, but it was never something I discussed with anyone. When I got into therapy originally it was because I had a Hypnotherapy practice. When you are helping others with their burdens, you need to be able to unload them. It is a sort of mandate of the career field. Therapists see a therapist, psychologists see a psychologist, and psychiatrists see a psychiatrist. It also offers the benefit of having a mentor to advise you in situations where you might be unclear about how to help your patient.

I sold the practice, divorced wife #3, and moved to South Dakota for a fresh start. I got into therapy here in case I decided to start up my practice again and to figure out why I have problems in relationships. After several therapists, I started seeing a Psychologist at the VA. We started digging deep into what was going on with me. I did not reveal my secret at first, but he was able to piece together various incidents from my past and suggested Gender Dysphoria. It took two more years of therapy to understand what he was saying and accept that he hit the nail on the head.

From that point on it was just a matter of learning what all of this means and how to navigate this thing called "transition".

And away we go...

I have always just known, but it was never something I discussed with anyone. When I got into therapy originally it was because I had a Hypnotherapy practice. When you are helping others with their burdens, you need to be able to unload them. It is a sort of mandate of the career field. Therapists see a therapist, psychologists see a psychologist, and psychiatrists see a psychiatrist. It also offers the benefit of having a mentor to advise you in situations where you might be unclear about how to help your patient.

I sold the practice, divorced wife #3, and moved to South Dakota for a fresh start. I got into therapy here in case I decided to start up my practice again and to figure out why I have problems in relationships. After several therapists, I started seeing a Psychologist at the VA. We started digging deep into what was going on with me. I did not reveal my secret at first, but he was able to piece together various incidents from my past and suggested Gender Dysphoria. It took two more years of therapy to understand what he was saying and accept that he hit the nail on the head.

From that point on it was just a matter of learning what all of this means and how to navigate this thing called "transition".

And away we go...

[ChrissyRyan]

I have always just known, but it was never something I discussed with anyone. When I got into therapy originally it was because I had a Hypnotherapy practice. When you are helping others with their burdens, you need to be able to unload them. It is a sort of mandate of the career field. Therapists see a therapist, psychologists see a psychologist, and psychiatrists see a psychiatrist. It also offers the benefit of having a mentor to advise you in situations where you might be unclear about how to help your patient.

I sold the practice, divorced wife #3, and moved to South Dakota for a fresh start. I got into therapy here in case I decided to start up my practice again and to figure out why I have problems in relationships. After several therapists, I started seeing a Psychologist at the VA. We started digging deep into what was going on with me. I did not reveal my secret at first, but he was able to piece together various incidents from my past and suggested Gender Dysphoria. It took two more years of therapy to understand what he was saying and accept that he hit the nail on the head.

From that point on it was just a matter of learning what all of this means and how to navigate this thing called "transition".

And away we go...

Transitioning can certainly be challenging.

Chrissy

[Sarah B]

Hi Everone

I never questioned my gender, not once in my life. The term 'gender' was not in my vocabulary, not that I can recall. It was not until when I came across Susan's Place in January 2010 and that may be the first time I came cross that term. I did not know that I was female until that point in time and I was about 51 years old. So what in the hell happened in my case?

From the ages of 20 to 30, I wanted or longed to be a female. When I was 30 I changed my life around and immediately I was full time, working and living as female, so there was no need to question my gender. I was always female and when surgery occurred, I was 32 years old, ensured that I was able to function as a female.

If someone asked me personally, not that I recall that ever happening, but forms, did ask that directly, male or female or title?  I did tick the appropriate box, not realizing that I was answering, what is my gender.  So in a sense gender never played a part in what I did.

Now that I'm old and wise, I can say without a doubt I'm a female!

Love and Hugs
Sarah B

[Gina P]

For me I resisted the idea from childhood on. I was raised in a household where you just didn't do something like this. I would go to sleep every night with the prayer that God would make me a woman and I would wake up one in the morning. When alone in the house i would dress up in woman's clothes and have fantasies I was a woman. After doing this I would be riddled with guilt and regret but do it again anyway. I kept this secrete my whole life. Finally when in counseling for another problem I told the therapist and found relief. The rest is history....
Gina

[Allie Jayne]

When I was a child I dreamed of being a girl. I told my mother of these persistent 'urges' and she advised me to resist them. No matter how hard I tried to be free of this feeling, it would come back, often stronger. Over the years I determined that I didn't want to be female, but my gender discomfort was persistent. I was both successful and gained enjoyment from my male life, but my discomfort was growing.

Throughout my life I questioned and studied my condition, and in recent years I learned that trans people have a part of their brain which is physically structured similar to the opposite sex, from birth. The critical area is the Bed Nucleus, and it likely the place where our Gender Identity is centred. This area also controls our anxiety, and the same mechanism can send Dysphoria (the discomfort I was feeling) to the rest of my brain.

My dysphoria was now critical and this knowledge answered all of my questions. I now knew that I suffered from Gender Incongruence, and the answer was to do affirming things to satisfy my Gender Identity, and this would lower my dysphoria to sustainable levels. I transitioned, not to be a woman, but to reduce the dysphoria which was killing me.

Hugs,

Allie 

[Faith]

Ahh, hindsight. My brain had to click first, then I could look back and 'see' all the things that pointed to it that I had ignored or buried.

Now, I simply close my eyes, ignore my body, and feel.

[Yvanektara]

I sensed this from a very young age, becoming clear in an intense dream when I was 8 years old that I was actually a girl. Even so, it took many years for me to trust that intuitive part of me because my family and teachers didn't allow that any belief of mine ever counted as knowledge if it conflicted with their iron-fisted positions. I had internalized that traching, and it literally took decades for me to rise up above it.

[Jessica_K]

Always knew there was "something wrong with me" anc had no idea what it was. I tried to fit in, to do all the things I was supposed to do. Was told I had to conform. Things come back to me of my childhood and just remembered I was taken to a psychiatrist by my parents when I was early teens as I did not conform to the stereotype expectations. I have blocked out most of my childhood as I was never really happy, I was shy, introvert, no friends. Threw myself into education.

It was very late in life that everything clicked. I was a woman! From that moment I started my journey and surprise surprise I am confident, extrovert living as a woman, many friends can talk for England. Everything I was not before.

My only consult with a psychiatrist about gender was to get my GI diagnosis, I had nothing to prove and was given the diagnosis within the first 5 mins of the appointment. The rest of the hour was chatting lol.

Hugs
Jessica xxx

[Maid Marion]

The ease of socializing and gathering information as a woman!

[ChrissyRyan]

Thanks ladies for sharing out.

Chrissy

[noleen111]

My experience is different, i never questioned my gender, as teenager I enjoyed wearing female underwear and loved wearing cheerleader skirts in secret.. I was super shy and never mixed with guys.. I got on better with females.

It was not until I was finished high school, when I started cross dressing more seriously, by that I mean.. dressing up fully, wigs, breast forms, makeup etc, did I begin question.. am I a girl in a guys body. I had made a close female friend, who found out my secret, she encouraged me to explore the female side of myself. What I found, I was more comfortable as a woman, I was more outgoing. This lead to me starting hormones and rest is history. I have never looked back.

[Maid Marion]

Yes,I am much more outgoing as a woman.