Rejecting Estrogen

[cjennyb]

I have heard, from both my therapist, and numerous books/articles that there is a possibility that my body will reject the E.  That is to say that very soon after starting HRT, (soon), I may begin to feel very anxious and uncomfortable.  The implication is that this is the final test of my transexuality.  If I feel uncomfortable or anxious I should stop taking the E and resign myself to being a CD.  That I am not programmed to be female.

Now after already suffering for ~50 years the discomfort of being in the wrong body, after spending thousands of $$ on therapy, and potentially thousands more on electrolysis, and coming to terms with my transexuality, there is a somewhat random chance that it is all for nought.

I cannot believe that this is really possible. 
Is my therapists trying to tell me something?
Am I scared for no reason?

Has anybody else heard of this, felt this, have any suggestions or comments?

Before I embark on this next step of my journey I need to know that the road is clear, and that there is NO possibility of a road closure.

Please tell me this is not true.

Jenny

[Kate]

I know of many TGs/CDs who LOVE the feminizing effects of E, especially their breasts. Yet most will tell you they have no desire to actually live as a female.

One thing it might "test" though is someone's resolve to transition, whatever their motives are for it. Once the changes start becoming obvious, it' a bit of a wake-up call that this isn't something to do on a whim.

~Kate~

[Keira]

Its the anxiety caused by the felt or visible of effects of
estrogen that gets people to stop. Its a psychological effect.
Anxiety, is pretty powerfull when its strong enough. But,
its you, consciously or unconsciously that causes this stress
because it does not correspond to your inner feelings
expressed or not.

If your a CD who wants breast and don't mind the other effects
but will continue living as a male (which exist), it may correspond to
your inner feeling and you won't feel anxiety.

Estrogen by itself doesn't discriminate towards TS or non TS, since
plenty of non TS use it.

[NicholeW.]

I haven't seen that particular difficulty.

I have experienced more irritability after beginning hrt until the dosages reach a fairly 'steady-state.' Especially when the 'trough' period became acute just before another injection. Yet, even that has disappeared long-ago.

I'm not sure where your therapist got that info, it doesn't seem to bear out in the 'real-world.' Anxiety is a pretty-much universal phenomenon among human beings. I haven't seen that E is a reason for it.

Nichole

[Keira]

E can cause anxiety (irritability is part of it)
But not of the kind she's talking.

The anxiety that would have you stop treatment is psychological
not a direct cause of the medication.

It can make you sweat, make your heart beat faster, make you feel
light headed or dizzy, make it hard for you to concentrate or
breathe, give muscles pain, make it hard to sleep. In the worse case,
complete distorsion of sensory field (narrowing, changes of color, sounds) which
happens in panic attacks.

[Kate]

That I am not programmed to be female.

I *really* don't like the sound of that. It sounds so... I dunno... elitist? Like there's some physical test for "real" TSs.

Most people who start a transition (and HRT) are going to be very nervous and anxious. I mean geez, you're rolling the dice to start your life all over again. You might lose your job, spouse, friends... everything. Who WOULDN'T be nervous?

The REAL test, in my opinion, is the Real Life Test. That's where you learn if this is right for you... by DOING it and finding out if it "fits."

~Kate~

[cjennyb]

Thanks all.

I was given to believe that the anxiety would appear to be a physical test of some kind, but now that I read your insightful responses I can begin to understand that it is perhaps the psychological reaction to the physiological changes in my body that cause this, and that unless the anxiety becomes too uncomfortable I will continue.

I expect to get nervous and anxious, as par for the course, and I also expect that I will begin to feel somewhat vulnerable, as a side effect of reduced T levels.

As Kate says it will ultimately test my resolve to transition.

I guess this is just one more hurdle to overcome.

Thanks again.

Jenny

[ssindysmith]

When I first read your post I thought rejecting E thats crazy it's not like a transplanted lung or something and your body is rejecting it, after re-reading I understand your concern, but like what has been said it is more a mind set then physical rejection of E.

[lisagurl]

Please tell me this is not true.

There is a very small chance that your body can have a reaction. My doctor only had one person react and had to stop.

[Berliegh]

I have heard, from both my therapist, and numerous books/articles that there is a possibility that my body will reject the E.  That is to say that very soon after starting HRT, (soon), I may begin to feel very anxious and uncomfortable.  The implication is that this is the final test of my transexuality.  If I feel uncomfortable or anxious I should stop taking the E and resign myself to being a CD.  That I am not programmed to be female.

Now after already suffering for ~50 years the discomfort of being in the wrong body, after spending thousands of $$ on therapy, and potentially thousands more on electrolysis, and coming to terms with my transexuality, there is a somewhat random chance that it is all for nought.

I cannot believe that this is really possible. 
Is my therapists trying to tell me something?
Am I scared for no reason?

Has anybody else heard of this, felt this, have any suggestions or comments?

Before I embark on this next step of my journey I need to know that the road is clear, and that there is NO possibility of a road closure.

Please tell me this is not true.

Jenny

Some HRT's so react badly with some individuals and depending how good your immune system is, your body could see the HRT as a virus...

I found that my body would react against progynova giving me violent vomiting and headaches, so I couldn't use that form of HRT but all other seems to be fine with me. I also had a bad re-action with Zoladex which worked the opposite way round like it would if given to a genetic female. So different medication work differently on each individual and it takes a long time to find the right medication that suits your own body.

[Keira]

HRT cannot act as a virus or even an immune response.

I'll say it again Berleigh,
an allergic reaction to the binder and dye though is possible.
Another possibility in your case, is that estrogen is a stimulant, sublingual pills
cause peeks which suddenly increases heart rate and
dilates blood vessels in the head and thus can cause
headaches of various intensity in some.

Big doses of estrogen (not the ones normally used in HRT, seen in pregnancy)
cause nausea, vomitting, big bloating, vessel constriction migraines, etc.

Estrogen administration with slower metabolism like swallowed orals or patches
would not cause sudden peeks. But, orals like ethinilestradiol have
their own issues (hard on the liver and causes DVT and pituary tumors (cause of
excess prolactin). People use patches when they are sensitive to
estrogen level effects.


All those cases have nothing to do with immunology or a virus.

[Julie Marie]

It sounds like your therapist is trying to create a link to your physiological response and your emotional response.  If you have a bad reaction to estrogen that doesn't mean you aren't trans.  The two really have nothing to do with each other.

Julie

[Audrey]

You also have a (?)% chance at dying in a car wreck.  Does it keep you from driving?  Some times you just have to have faith that youll be ok.  The road isnt straight and narrow and without making the journey youll never be able to see around the bend.

Audrey

[Hazumu]

Jenny, my therapist told me the same thing.  At least your eyes will be open to the possibility as you start your HRT.

My fervent wish is that at the end of the first two months I ask you if you want to stop, and your answer to me is not just 'no', but 'Hell NO!'

Karen