Hi ChrissyI hope you are well and happy today, Your current post shows what is on your mind and your are seeking out answers on what others have done in similar situations.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 08, 2024, 04:57:04 PMWhat seems to bring about a bad body dysphoria day for you?
I never had any body dysphoria, except I want to look more pretty and sexy, but who does not! I never had a problem with my body before I changed my life around and that includes what was down stairs. Yes, I wanted or longed to be a female and when I changed my life around, I still did not hate or wanted what was there gone. I was indifferent towards what was there as I knew in some sense that it would become part of my body, so that I could function as female.
I was so focused in what I did, even I cannot explain it to my self. I have mentioned before I was like a bullet train heading towards the end of the tunnel, where there was light! That's me talking metaphorically. I'm a very logical person in nature and maybe the following reasons are, why I did what I did.
I loved long hair, so I grew it long, I did not consider what other people thought of about me, if I had long hair. I hated shaving, so I found out how to get rid of my facial hair permanently and electrolysis and waxing solved that problem. I wanted to be loved by a man so I got SRS.
In other words, I did what I wanted to do as long as it made me 'happy' or 'extremely happy'. I was aware of what I did, could hurt others. However, my happiness was more important to me, than them being hurt by what I did, even though I tried to reduce the ramifications on them being, affected by what I did.
There are so many reasons why members do not go, that 'final step', unless they explicitly state what those reasons are. As much as I would like to know what those very personal reasons are, I cannot and will not ask them explicitly, why is that? That is just me being considerate, polite and mindful of their privacy, even though it affects my curiosity.
Actually I should ask those questions, but I will not, yes I will, no I won't, yes I will ...........
You mention;
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 08, 2024, 04:57:04 PMThere are no doubts that I am a MTF, a woman. But the body is not right for me.
Presenting as a woman is one thing, but having the female body is important too.
This says to me you want the body of an anatomically correct female body as far as possible and so much, by you saying;
"But the body is not right for me" and
"having the female body is important too" and
"Some days I cry and I am so sad everything is not quite right."Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 08, 2024, 04:57:04 PMI am wondering if I could be satisfied long term having a partially correct body. Maybe. Some days I cry and I am so sad everything is not quite right. On most days, the things the way they are is okay. I am basically a quite happy and well balanced woman. Odd as it may seem, a woman with a penis and balls can still have a nice life. I can have it the way it is and remain happy.
You could be happy living with the body you have now and only you can decide that, if you think that may be the case. Then there are days that, when you cry, because it is not right, will keep occurring and given time that crying might fade.
What will make you
the most happiest person in the whole world right now, having an anatomically correct female body as far as possible or as your body is now? I would appreciate your answer very much. You can tell me privately via PM if you so wish.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 08, 2024, 04:57:04 PMSome days though are challenging in regards to all of this. How did you get through all of this? Did non-op work for you? This is for me not a right or wrong situation decision, it is a situation of contradictions, hesitation, and has me doing a lot of thinking. I will get some clarity I hope with some discussions with my gender therapist.
If you read through some of my earlier remarks, I hope they will give you some guidance in some small way. I will again emphasise to you, do whatever makes you the most happiest person in the world and that means changing your body if that is the case. You have also said the most important thing you can do and that is to seek clarity with your 'gender therapist', soon.
Quote from: ChrissyRyan on April 08, 2024, 04:57:04 PMDo remember that no act of kindness is ever too small. Now go do a kind thing. It is always something that warms the heart, yours and someone else's.
Chrissy
I hope I have done that good deed, by helping you in some small way.
Please take care Chrissy and all the best for the future and remember you can PM me if you want or join Susan's Discord and we can have a private conversation between us and us only, if you want too. I do have private conversations with other members on Susan's Discord.
Have a wonderful day.
Best Wishes and HugsSarah BOfficial Greeter