Hi EveryoneIn previous posts I mentioned that I have always been heterosexual, in the case before I changed, I liked girls very much and yes I went out on dates with them and the possibility of going further did occur on several occasions.
However, something inside me and my nature prevented me and there were several reasons as to why I did not go any further, being puzzled was one reason why I did not pursue these romantic episodes further was to say the least.
In my life, while I dated girls I had a very close friend and we spent a lot of time together, he was younger than me and we belonged to the same swimming club, trained together, went fishing, scuba diving, saw the odd movie, camped overnight at swimming spots, before going on to a swim meet the next day and stayed over night in each others houses, I was very comfortable around him as I learned later.
In the end my friend got a girl friend who also spent time with us, because she belonged to the same swimming club, trained and spent time with us. I found out I was not a happy camper about this situation. In the end I realized that I had feelings for this young man and eventually these feelings for him formed one part of my conundrums. I wrote about these conundrums in
'My Epiphany'. I also realized that I could not love him like other women could. Yes, it broke my heart.
Fast forward to after my surgery and about a year later, I finally got the love of my life, we meet through an online dating forum, he new about my condition and he said it was not a problem, he was younger than me, I suppose I must be a cradle snatcher. As I have mentioned before, I was not going to get involved with guys until after my surgery, so that was not a problem for me.
Long story short we meet and we spent hours talking, well me actually and at one stage he said "you talk too much Sarah" and proceeded to kiss me, like I had never been kissed before, after that it was on for young and old and I spent the next 7 years with him. I loved him with my heart and soul, but circumstances eventuated that we drifted apart.
I was studying at university, the company he worked for shutdown and he got another job in another town far away from where I lived, the long distance relationship did not work out and one night he rang me and said this was not working and we should break up.
I had everything I ever wanted at the time, it literally broke my heart in pieces and to this day it still hurts. I found out later he had a partner and she rang and said, to me, "that he wanted to marry me". If pouring salt on to an old wound was painful, that comment was worse than hell.
I did eventually date again, but this time around, I had several boy friends and one lasted two years, they did not know about my condition. However, something was missing and that was I did not love them as much as I did with my first love. As they say there is nothing like your first love.
I have loved before and I have loved after and I will find someone to love again.
Love and Hugs for Me I Need ItSarah BPS I'm going to the markets to cheer up.