Are you happy you MTF transitioned, to whatever extent you have?

[Asche]

When I look back at my long life I see how much I have missed out on because I was not born with the right body.

I read lots of posts by trans women who say they wish they'd been born female.

Not to say that they are wrong when it comes to themselves, but I don't feel that way about myself.  There was all kinds of stuff I suffered because I was assigned male but didn't fit in the box society tried to make me fit into, but I don't believe it would have been a lot better if I'd been assigned female -- it would have been different, but probably not any less awful.  The world I grew up in had rigid ideas of what boys and girls had to be and treated anyone who didn't fit in pretty harshly.

I have a younger sister, and while I don't think they were quite as brutal with her (though I may have missed some stuff since she was 9 years younger), people still treated her like something was wrong with her.  And there still seems to be a conflict in her between how she believes she is supposed to be and who she really is inside, though I don't think she's ever faced up to it.  Twenty years ago I realized that I had to deal my own version of this or I would soon be dead, and that ultimately lead to my transitioning.

[Asche]

Actually, I think if I'd been assigned female at birth, I would have been a very different person.  The years of living as male were horrible, but dealing with that has given me a depth of understanding about myself and even (to some extent) other people that I don't think I would have had if I'd grown up in a role more compatible with my nature.  There's stuff I see that my cis friends, even the more insightfull ones, don't see.  (Of course, sometimes that reinforces my feeling that I'm not really human )

[LoriDee]

Actually, I think if I'd been assigned female at birth, I would have been a very different person.  The years of living as male were horrible, but dealing with that has given me a depth of understanding about myself and even (to some extent) other people that I don't think I would have had if I'd grown up in a role more compatible with my nature.  There's stuff I see that my cis friends, even the more insightfull ones, don't see.  (Of course, sometimes that reinforces my feeling that I'm not really human )

I agree with this so much. The world was a much different place when I was growing up. Being cast in a male role taught me things from experiences that were not available to women. I was a Tank Master Gunner in the Army. Combat jobs were not available to women until recently. I learned how to be strong mentally and physically.

Had I been female the abuse I went through would have been far more traumatizing. I still pine for things I did not get to experience like being a girl and learning about clothes, hairstyles, and makeup. But I can learn those now. I wish I had more time to spend enjoying it. I am not immortal yet.

I can't help but think there is a reason for my life unfolding as it has. I can accept that.