Were you cross dressing before you realized you were transgender (MTF)?

[ChrissyRyan]

Were you cross dressing before you realized you were transgender (MTF)?

Many are transgender.  However, many simply remain as only crossdressers.  Which are you and when did you know for sure what you were (transgender or cross dresser only)?

Note that if you are MTF or FTM, if you dress in your gender conforming clothes, you are not actually crossdressing.  At least, I do not think so.

[Faith]

I did  .. minimal, hidden, barely enough to be considered a cross-dresser by definition. The desire to dress differently was there yet not realized. I had no awareness of being trans at that time. My becoming self-aware had nothing to do with how I dressed, or even conscious thought for that matter.

[Jessica_K]

Nope, I can remember a lot more of my younger years now. The years when I knew I was a girl and had it bashed out of me (not physically) and I can safely say I dressed as a girl whenever I could until it was found out and shut down. I was never a cross dresser.

Jessica xxx

[LoriDee]

I did but not the way most people think of cross-dressing.

I noticed some men's clothing was uncomfortable, rough, and scratchy, and I didn't like it. I was shopping for long underwear, getting ready for some winter gold prospecting. The men's were so over-priced I decided to not buy them. As I was leaving to go to a different store, I passed a display for women's thermal undershirts. They felt so soft and lightweight, and cost less than the men's thermals, so I bought two.

I was delighted with how they fit, felt, and kept me warm. It never occurred to me that it might be considered cross-dressing. After getting and finally accepting my diagnosis of GD, I began to experiment. I was so amazed at how comfortable women's clothing was compared to men's. They fit better, felt nice on the skin, and had pretty colors or patterns. Why hadn't I considered this before?

Well, I know why. I was so caught up in being the manly man, it would have been unthinkable.

[ChrissyRyan]

Lori,

Our clothing options certainly are nice, appealing, and can be comfortable for sure.


Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

Lori,

It is so nice to be at work dressed appropriately.
I have on a ruffle front purple blouse (which looks nice with a skirt) but I am wearing a feminine pantsuit.  It is actually nice pants and a blazer that go together well.

Definitely a nice professional look today.

Chrissy

[Maid Marion]

No,not at all.

[big kim]

I did from 13 onwards (early 1971 a few months after my birthday). Mum gave me a bag of old clothes to take to the church jumble sale & I took the ones I liked for myself & hid them. I also experimented with makeup.
A few weeks after my 21st birthday I realised I was transgender. I'd often daydreamed of starting a new school as a girl since 7ish.I hated boys haircuts, sports, I was often bullied for being a cissy until I fought back big style at 14ish. I wondered why I could never get a long term girlfriend. I became a hard drinking, brawling poolshooting bad a** girl & boy chasing biker to hide myself.Iwas working on my Triumph motorcycle in late 1978 in a freezing garage. it was so cold I did 30 minutes on 10 minutes inside to warm up. I saw a piece in the paper on a transwoman who had a near identical life to mine & the penny finally dropped! It wasn't going to go away no matter how many drugs I took or how much I drank!

[Nadine Spirit]

Oh goodness YES! I considered myself "just" a crossdresser for about 10-15 years. I suppose during that time I also used the archaic, transvestite label as well. I know, the horror! I look at things now and understand that I have had some sort of obvious gender variance my entire life, I just called it different things prior to starting to receive actual gender therapy. Now I just see it all as a variant of being transgender. Currently my official can label reads, transexual female. Again, the horror! I know, what is wrong with me? Yes I am transgender, however my specific form of transgender happens to be transexual. I've read my therapist's and doctor's notes for my surgeries and yup, that TS word is everywhere, so you kinda gotta get used to it, imo.

[Justanother]

This is the exact 'crossroads' I am at currently, any tips on discovering which path is the correct one?

[Gina P]

I have cross dressed all my life. When ever alone in the house I would go to my secrete stash and play out a fantasy, where I was the girl. Then I'd be riddled with guilt and shame for what I had done. Swear I would never do it again, then repeat a few weeks latter. Over and over again. Now that I am out, no more shame and guilt, just acceptance of this is who I am. Dressing up is a daily thing and just feels right.
  Only you can determine the correct path but a good mental health counselor can be a great tool.
Gina

[Sweet luck]

Never liked female dresses as much as male's. For me most suitable were unisex or sport clothes, which I wear usually. And another thing is that currently my pass doesn't allow me wearing female dresses.

[LoriDee]

This is the exact 'crossroads' I am at currently, any tips on discovering which path is the correct one?

The only person who can determine your path is you.

My best advice would be to seek out a therapist experienced in gender identity. Gender expression can be confusing. A therapist can answer your questions and help you understand what you need to best make an educated decision. It is your life and you should live it in a way that makes you a happy person.

Some find that occasionally dressing up is enough. Some discover that they really want to fully transition. That path is yours to discover, but you will not be all alone. With a therapist to help you with learning and overcoming obstacles, and everyone here at Susan's Place offering support and information, you can enjoy exploring that part of your identity.

Welcome to Susan's Place!

[Sarah B]

Hi Kate

Lori has basically said what I was going to say and she said:

The only person who can determine your path is you.

My best advice would be to seek out a therapist experienced in gender identity. Gender expression can be confusing. A therapist can answer your questions and help you understand what you need to best make an educated decision. It is your life and you should live it in a way that makes you a happy person.

Some find that occasionally dressing up is enough. Some discover that they really want to fully transition. That path is yours to discover, but you will not be all alone. With a therapist to help you with learning and overcoming obstacles, and everyone here at Susan's Place offering support and information, you can enjoy exploring that part of your identity.

Welcome to Susan's Place!

I will repeat what Lori said and that is; "the only person who can determine your path is you", and only you can decide that, as long as it makes you happy.

Yes, welcome again to Susan's and all the best for the future.

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

Cross dressing does not mean that you are a 'cross dresser'.  I was never into 'cross dressing'.  I only dressed because it felt right.

So during the 1980's I established my wardrobe and I wore those clothes from time to time and, the style of clothing I liked came from women's magazines and not from the women around me.

The last couple of years I was wearing female clothing more and more when I was by myself, which was not often and still it felt right, although I knew that the general consensus about 'cross dressing', was frowned upon.

I certainly did not know about androgynous clothing and I only knew that there were only male and female clothing at the time and wearing female clothing on the outside was not possible.  That is until the two Christmas periods 1987 and 1988, where Sarah was final released on the unsuspecting world!

From Feb 1989 and to this day, Sarah has never 'cross dressed' and she no intention of doing so!

Love and Hugs
Sarah B
Official Greeter
PS I have never 'crossed dressed', before I changed my life around and no I'm not 'transgender or MTF'.  I have always been female.

[Gina P]

I had to laugh when I was reading my post and everyone else's about cross dressing. I had said this to my therapist some time ago and he responded with lets not call it crossdressing anymore and refer to it as dressing as your authentic self! This way of thinking was very liberating and removed the shame and guilt that had plagued me my whole life.

[ChrissyRyan]

I had to laugh when I was reading my post and everyone else's about cross dressing. I had said this to my therapist some time ago and he responded with lets not call it crossdressing anymore and refer to it as dressing as your authentic self! This way of thinking was very liberating and removed the shame and guilt that had plagued me my whole life.

That is a good perspective to take Gina.

Chrissy