@Marta Unfortunately if you want to transition or explore this side of you with our overly putting your relationship at risk, then you will have to move at what ever pace she is comfortable with. Which means you could very well be in limbo for quite some time and that's not ideal and realistic for you either especially if you're suffering from other symptoms that will only get worse from not doing anything.
Eventually though everyone will have to face the music... Nothing lasts for ever, everything is constantly changing and evolving. Good days come and go as well as the hard days. It's a constant evolution of life. Unfortunately I know it's not possible to wait for ever on ones significant other especially if they're not making any effort to understand, or getting a their own h
Therapist to deal with the thoughts and emotions they're having etc. it would be a real shame for it to end of she did not make any real effort, but then again that's also a sign for you to see...
I'm dealing with the same issues. We're living like you said before everything came out. I'm slowly doing things that I don't care if she sees anymore. I'll wear my panties to bed or at home, I've been upping my game on my personal hygiene and moisturizing routine. Things that aren't really super big to push her limits but things that she will see and notice and realize panties are just underwear, or it's nice his hands and feet aren't covered in callous' anymore. I'm still me.
You can either transition fast alone, or transition slowly with your wife, granted you may still end up separating in the end but at least you will leave no stone left un turned trying to transition and keep your relationship in tact.
Ultimately you know where your limit is. Hopefully you both will have time to talk and work through it to when that time comes you can move forward with your wife.