Hi! I'm back after a long absence

[gwenf369]

Hello everyone.  My name is Gwen.  I am not new to Susan's Place, but it has been a long time since I have been active.  I posted earlier today because I am desperate to find a bra that fits, and I just knew that one or more of you here at Susan's Place could help me.  Northern Star Girl gave me some great advice, and she also told me about the site's crash.  I know I am being long winded, but I thought I should reintroduce myself since I don't know how much of me survived the great crash (this reminds me of the great Chicago fire).

As I said before, my name is Gwen.  I will be 70 years old this month, and I started HRT over two years ago.  I live in the southeast in coastal Georgia, and it is HOT!!!   I am married, and my wife is not particularly supportive of my transition.  We are working through it, but I do not know if out marriage will survive at this point.

I am still presenting as a man most of the time, but I did go get a makeover, pedicure and manicure a couple of weekends ago.  After that I went shopping. The experience was exciting and liberating and boosted my self-confidence.  I can't wait to do it again.

I am also being scheduled for my first mammogram as any woman should, and for that reason, I am excited.

I feel like I have wasted a good bit of my life by not living as my true self, so now that I am taking positive steps forward, I feel more positive and hopeful about life.

Send me a note, I want to get to know you.

Thanks,
Gwen

[Lori Dee]

Welcome back, Gwen!

And thank you for the nice re-introduction. Transitioning does have its ups and downs. It certainly gets more complicated when you are in a relationship. I am glad to hear that you are taking steps toward being yourself. That is the secret to happiness. I hope you and your wife can work through it. Many on this site have been able to make it work. Some are still struggling as you are. And others, like me, made a clean break and a fresh start. At least you know you will find support here at Susan's.

Again, welcome back!

Lori Dee

[Maid Marion]

Hi Gwen,

Welcome back!

I had a reasonably successful marriage until she passed away after fifteen years.

I would suggest talking and setting ground rules.  I think that not knowing is extremely corrosive to a marriage and that talking and agreeing to what you can and can't do is the healthy way to keep a marriage alive.

As a practical matter transitioning is a lot of work.  It may be better to learn how to be female slowly over a long time as it usually takes a long time to change deeply engrained habits and ways of doing things.  Yes, you may want to move quickly but that isn't possible.

Marion

[Sephirah]

Welcome back to the site, sweetie.

How you folks live in those hot places of the world, I will never know! I would melt faster than the Wicked Witch of the West.

Listen, honey... you didn't waste anything, okay? Our lives are the sum total of everything. All the years you lived before you embraced the truth of who you are, they weren't wasted. You learned lessons, forged relationships, had experiences which all add to who you are as a person. Never think that you wasted any part of your life. It all adds to the diamond that is Gwen. Multiple facets, all sparkling in the sunlight. You are who you are because of everything you've been through. And it's all a part of you. Your life is your own, and it's never too late to accept something and change something. But that doesn't invalidate everything which has gone before. It's all a part of you.

You are your own person, and every experience you've had in your life contributes to that. Gives you a unique perspective on the world. That is something to hold onto. You don't have to be a woman. You have to be your own woman. Whoever that is.

Embrace everything, sweetie. As a part of yourself. And use that to move forward with a singularly individual outlook on life. You are beautiful. Then, now, always.

*massive hugs*

[gwenf369]

Sephirah, Thank you for your beautiful repones to my post.  It really warmed my heart and will give me much to consider.  Since I am 69 and a cancer survivor, I feel a since of urgency.  I don't know if that is healthy or beneficial.  I try to be a bit daring and respectful to my wife, who knows, and the rest of my family, who does not.

I agree that I am the sum of everything in my life up to now, and except for not living day to day as my true self, I am happy and accepting of who I am.

Thank you for your welcome.

Maid Marion, Thank you for sharing a bit of your life with me.  I am sorry that you lost your wife.  I know you must still miss her every day.

In my marriage my wife really dose not want to talk.  She gets angry when I have a therapy session or when I have a hair appointment.  Unfortunately, she has other real stresses in her life with her children, and she doesn't want to deal with my transition.  I am trying to develop a plan with the help of my therapist that I can live with going forward.  I am going to take slow, but like I told Sephirah, I feel a since of urgency.

Thank you for your warm welcome, and I look forward to chatting more in the future.

Gwen