Introduction 10 years in

[eliezier]

Hello,

I havent used this forum since 2013 or so, but am back now.
I've been passing well for a long time now, but with the recent increase in ~visibility~ suddenly am being clocked left and right by people who don't know how to keep it to themselves, and am trying to figure out how to pass as cis to people who know what trans people look like. Wish me luck

[ChrissyRyan]

Welcome back!

Some people apparently have a big need to express themselves.  I am unsure how to look like CIS to these people, except to be as presentable as female as possible (or as male if you are a FTM), dressed appropriate for your age and the situation.  You should have female mannerisms if you are a MtF, which you likely do if you passed for so long.  If your voice is female melodic, that is a plus of course as a MtF.

You also just have be natural and comfortable in your surroundings.  It does not help when you get some unkind words though.  That can hurt.

I wish you the best.

Chrissy

[Northern Star Girl]

Hello,

I havent used this forum since 2013 or so, but am back now.
I've been passing well for a long time now, but with the recent increase in ~visibility~ suddenly am being clocked left and right by people who don't know how to keep it to themselves, and am trying to figure out how to pass as cis to people who know what trans people look like. Wish me luck

@eliezier
Dear eliezier:
I am thrilled to see that you have returned to the Forum after all of these years.
Please take some time and look around and read the various threads authored by many of our
members ... you will find discussions and testimonials that may help you to answer
many of the questions that you stated.

As you might be aware, the site experienced a site crash on January 1st this year and much
data was lost including member accounts, postings, private messaging, etc.

Through what seemed to be endless work, our staff has done a great job in piecing things
together again to very quickly have a fully operation site even though much of the lost
data appears to be unrecoverable. 

Some things have changed here on the Forum since you were last here... you should
read a couple announcements that were posted after the crash:

                  The New Years Outage and our Lost years
              https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,246809.0.html

                    The "NEW" updated Forum
              https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247170.0.html 

            Important Update: Revising Our Language Moderation Guidelines
                https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247169.0.html
           
              The Foul Language and Respectful Communication Policy
                https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247168.0.html

... and be certain to read the revised and updated Terms of Service rules for the site.
              As we embark on this new chapter, we urge all returning members to familiarize themselves
              with our updated Terms of Service (TOS), which are vital for maintaining a respectful,
              inclusive, and safe environment for everyone.
You can review the new TOS here: 
              Susan's Place: Community Guidelines and Terms of Service
            --> https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,2.0.html

NOTE: You won't be able to upload an Avatar Profile photo, and nor will you be able to
send Forum private messages until you achieve and reach 15 postings...  so therefore if
you have any questions you can Email me at alaskandanielle@yahoo.com

Many HUGS, and a BIG warm WELCOME back.
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]
The Forum Administrator

cc:  @Sarah B  @Lori Dee

[Lori Dee]

@eliezier

Hello, welcome back to Susan's Place!

I am always happy to see returning members. I see that Danielle has welcomed you and told you about the site changes. Some were due to the New Year's Crash, causing a lot of rebuilding, and some changes were just updating some of the older policies.

As you know, the site is huge with a ton of information. If you get lost and need help, feel free to reach out.

I know what you mean about being clocked more often now. I think a lot of it has to do with politics and media fanning the flames. People get angry and look for a target to direct their hatred and politicians and the media are happy to point them at us. Then they go looking for us. Hopefully, it is a temporary situation and things will die down for a while.

Your top priority is your safety, no matter what it takes. If I am in a situation that could be dangerous, I am armed. You don't need a machine gun in your purse. A knife, pepper spray, or even car keys can be good in self-defense. There have been times when I am not allowed to be armed, like in a government building. There it is a matter of blending in. Keep clothing and makeup looking like the next gal in line next to you. If you can't do that, go androgynous and dress like the guy in line next to you. I hate doing that, but it is only for a short time, and then I am back in the safety of my car. Hopefully, you will find something along these lines helpful.

Welcome back. Be safe!

Lori Dee

[Sarah B]

Hello Eliezier 

My name is Sarah B and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

You mention:

Hello,

I havent used this forum since 2013 or so, but am back now.
I've been passing well for a long time now, but with the recent increase in ~visibility~ suddenly am being clocked left and right by people who don't know how to keep it to themselves, and am trying to figure out how to pass as cis to people who know what trans people look like. Wish me luck

It is good to see that previous members of Susan's come back and let us know what has happened in the intervening years.  I left Susan's in 2012 and I have only recently come back.  Susan's is still the place to find out what's going on and to help those in need of it.

It's is hard to say why this is the case as there is not enough information as to why you are being clocked.  Suggestions have already been made, like wearing appropriate female clothing for your age, work and social conditions, the adage that less makeup means more and hair style.  I would assume at this stage that all of your facial hair has been removed?

Confidence is a big factor if one does not have this then others will pick up on it.  The first thing other people do when they see another person, they seem to automatically determine what gender you are.

One thing that has just come to my mind, maybe you are thinking that other people are cloaking you, but in actual fact they are not?  In other words because they look at you for a second or so you think they have read you?

At this stage I have no further suggestions as to why, what's happening to you.  I'm sure other members will have other thoughts on this issue.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome Back to Susan's Place!
Sarah B
Offical Greeter
@LoriDee
@Northern Star Girl
@eliezier

[Sephirah]

Hello,

I havent used this forum since 2013 or so, but am back now.
I've been passing well for a long time now, but with the recent increase in ~visibility~ suddenly am being clocked left and right by people who don't know how to keep it to themselves, and am trying to figure out how to pass as cis to people who know what trans people look like. Wish me luck

Stop caring about trying to "Pass". Sweetie you don't need luck. Like Ghandi said: be the change you want to see in the world.

Most of who we all are doesn't come from how we look to other people.

If I can be honest, honey. Don't try to pass. Just try to be you. It's way easier.