What is your gender identity?

[darksou]

Asking this to know what kinds of nonbinary people we have around here. I will start. I'm a maverique abinary person. Maverique means I have a very present gender identity that is completely divorced from being feminine, masculine or neutral and I have strong conviction it exists. It is a type of abinary gender.

[Lori Dee]

There are so many to choose from and even trying to accurately describe your own can be daunting.

My psychologist hit the nail on the head: asexual trans-feminine. Of course, that is not always a selectable option on many forms and I have to just check "trans woman" even though I won't really feel like that is me until I have had bottom surgery. Asexual trans-feminine is totally accurate for now.

[Lilis]

My gender is like a chameleon, constantly changing and adapting.

I identify as genderfluid. It's a roller coaster experience, but it's the term that best describes how I feel about my gender.

@darksou

~ Lilis

[ChrissyRyan]

Female.

[Asche]

I don't have a "gender identity."

For me, gender is something I have to deal with when I'm dealing with other people, because other people seem to need to assign a gender to me.  When I'm by myself, I'm just me.

Because of how I like to dress, how I am most comfortable talking and acting, it's just easier if they gender me female.  But that's not anything essential to who I am.

[Robbyv213]

My gender identity is still loading. Lol unfortunately I have crappy dial up internet and horrible processing speeds.

[Jordan Lee]

I think I'm between 25% and 30% female in gender and the rest male.  I identify as a hetero male because that's how I've always felt overall.  Yet that feminine minority of me has control of so many things that insist on manifesting in my personality and body language.  I consider myself intergendered, just not as center of the gender spectrum as that term originally means.

Yeah, I'm decidedly non-athletic, interested in girl's stuff and somewhat effeminate in how I present to the world.  I almost fit in with the nerds, but they can be as big of jerks as everyone else just in different ways.

The two happiest childhood days with my siblings were the one odd day that my sister inexplicably wanted to play baby dolls with me and I was up for that all day.  And the other the day my brother played a somewhat more masculine make-believe fantasy with me all day.  I hated to see both of those days end.

I also used to play with my mama's jewelry and smell her bottles of perfume.  But the only item I ever tried on was a clip-on earring just to see if that pinch on the lobe really hurt as much as it looked like it would.  It did.

I'm celibate just as a way things worked out.  I never did go out and seek women just for sex because my inner girl needs intimacy in order for me to get intimate.  When I say I'm romantically and sexually attracted only to females, I mean romantically to people of the female gender and sexually to the female anatomy.  Romantically is the dominant attraction for me.  And for that I need to get to know a lady. Being socially awkward, that tends not to happen very often.

[Allie Jayne]

This topic comes up from time to time and I always wonder why people always want to find a box to put themselves in. Dysphoria is not always an obvious entity, many people with incongruence don't recognise it. But we know something isn't right, and may spend a long time trying to work out exactly what it is. During this time, we often feel we match certain descriptions, but as we learn more about ourselves, we can jump from box to box. Incongruence affects us all in different ways, after all, we are all unique.

We are who we are, and we don't really change as we jump boxes, just our understanding does. If it makes you comfortable to have a box, go for it, but just don't get too attached!

Me, well I am just me.

Hugs,

Allie

[Jordan Lee]

OK.  I think I've got a term figured out for myself.  I hope it isn't already in use for others.  If so it isn't intentional and I'm willing to keep looking.

I'm a gender-misfit hetero male.  Because the term sounds to me like any of us who can't fit into any of the categories for which there are existing terminology.  This is one area in which I feel a blanket term might feel just a little bit warm and snuggly.

Feedback please?

[SoupSarah]

Too many over think this simple question. You are who you are and learn to love yourself for that - leave the pigeonholes to pigeons.

I would much rather be an individual with all my own unique flaws and talents than some label.

[Anamorphose]

My best guess at the moment is a non-binary demigirl, but my relationship with what I feel and what I want is evolving over time. So I'm trying to let that happen naturally to get the most accurate picture, but I'm finding it very hard picking away all the congealed repression and shame that has built up for most of my life. Definitely a work in progress.

However I can see the appeal of adopting a label, as it makes me feel that I'm not the first one to have had this identity, and therefore I'm not entirely alone. As long as everyone knows that we're all free to change that label whenever and wherever we want to, and no label will define anyone 100%.

[foosnark]

My gender identity is: [ominous synth music playing] 

To be serious, "nonbinary" is my favorite term.  It's the first one I encountered that completely fit me, instead of almost, sometimes, etc.  It's nicely non-specific and is common enough that a lot of people have at least heard of it or can grasp it.

The more slightly specific version is:  I feel quite disconnected from masculinity.  Femininity appeals to me but I'm not a woman.  I'm sort of androgynous, sort of fluid, and sort of demi-gendered at times.  My dysphoria is mild.

[Camille58S]

Male with a strong female component. Maybe Bi-gender.

[Tig58072]

🤔 Nonbinary or Female? I don't feel much connection to masculinity.

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

First: I'm an individual, that's given.
Second: I'm female, always have been. Hindsight.
Third: I have both feminine and masculine traits.  Don't ask me, I don't know how much of each, more female than male I think!

Masculine and feminine traits are often shaped by society's expectations, but having both is a natural part of being human.  These traits can shift depending on the situation, for example, being assertive at work or empathetic in personal relationships.

By embracing this mix, a person can express their full identity without being limited by gender stereotypes.  It demonstrates that femininity and masculinity can complement each other rather than oppose one another.

Recognizing and embracing both feminine and masculine traits allows individuals to express their full identity without being confined by society's expectations.  This balance shows that femininity and masculinity are not opposites but can work together, making someone a truly genuine individual.

Take care.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[Lori Dee]

@Sarah B

I love this. So true.

People have often quoted the Bible at me using the phrase "male and female created He them" as evidence that "transgender" does not exist.

I point out to them that the phrase says "male AND female," not either one or the other. We were created as spirits, both masculine and feminine, and then given a physical body so that we could interact with the physical world. We are not bodies with a soul. We are "living souls" - spirits that are alive.

(note: the definition of something being alive is that it breathes.)

[ChrissyRyan]

It has been female for sure for a good twenty years plus, starting sometime during grad school.
Before then, a cross dresser but maybe I was MTF then during college.
It does not matter now though either way.

Chrissy

[KikiOnKiki87]

I am unsure but maybe DEVOTIONAL FEMALE AS MALE NONBINARY which means I am more devoted to dressing as female as I can but am worried about hatred and bigotry from the other side

[Lori Dee]

I am unsure but maybe DEVOTIONAL FEMALE AS MALE NONBINARY which means I am more devoted to dressing as female as I can but am worried about hatred and bigotry from the other side

Your Gender Identity is not about what you do, but about who you are.

I understand what you are saying. I am female. I am pre-op, so I have the same concerns as you, but that does not change who I am.

When I asked my psychologist how do I can reconcile my inner self with my outer self, the answer is transition. Does that make me transsexual? No, because my sex has not changed. My gender changed, thus I am transgender.

So I asked him to describe me in a way that includes my body, mind, and spirit. He said he would describe me as "transfeminine". Changing from masculine to feminine, but not quite all the way there.

I think that sort of makes me non-binary, and many of the conversations here from non-binary members have helped me to understand what that means. And in understanding, I can see how it applies to me.

I relate to what you wrote, and if that is what you feel best describes you, then you have found it. Perhaps the inner you is feminine and trying to peek out from the masculine facade. Remember that it is not about wishes and dreams, but who you truly are deep inside. And when you find the right "label", you will feel that it is right and describes you perfectly.

Not all transgender people transition. Some are content to exist somewhere within the non-binary spectrum, or reject any imposed labels and are happy to declare "I am me". Some of us see the gender spectrum as existing between masculine and feminine, and we exist somewhere in between. There is no right or wrong.

Susan wrote a very good post about this:
https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,247148.msg2262144.html#msg2262144

I hope you find this helpful.