I met my husband nearly 5 years ago, he lived 4000 miles away from me, but we both lived in western modern countries.. USA and UK.. It was durning the Covid pandemic when we first met online - and it took about 6 months to go from friends to being in love.. we had never met, only video and email.. but I felt something for this guy that I never felt before - I was still living as male, not yet transitioned, though that was on the cards and an inevitable thing.
For 18 months we talked every day - hoping Covid restrictions would be lifted and we could actually meet. Eventually, in November 2021 the first planes from the UK to the USA started flying and I was on one of them.
By this time I had totally transitioned and travelled under my new name, passport and gender. We met, we kissed and fireworks exploded... the world felt right... There was no doubts. Neither of us had ever felt like that before, and being old and befuddled (in our 50's and 60's respectively) it was quite a shock.. both of us had been married before and this love we shared was so much more than what we had before... I say this to you, because, this is not how your description of your love for this Asian woman seems to read..
We got engaged within the first few weeks of physically meeting each other - and we started the immigration process to get me into the USA full time.. That was December 2021.. and it cost over $1000 to submit the form and documentation. I flew back.. we waited.. I had surgery in February and he came over to help me recover.. I flew back twice more to the USA in that year (2022).. and it took until the following March (2023) before we had any notification that the immigration was proceeding.. In that time my future husband suffered a stroke, I flew into the USA in a panic, to find him very ill in hospital. I think this is how I knew I loved him, because, with the chance he would be bed-ridden his entire life, unable to remember me - I still wanted to marry him and be his wife...
Luckily he managed to recover - well enough to not have any really lasting impedement to living a healthy life... and then we got the authorisation for our visa to marry - and I then had to visit the USA embassy in London, that took 6 months to book.. and another $1000.. and then I needed vaccinations, again another $1000 and another trip to London.. and so, finally - by Novemeber 2023 - 2 years (almost to the day) I had a fiancee visa in hand and a ticket to the USA, one way!!!! It had cost about $5600 in just costs and then living separately and flights over the 2 years added up to about $28k.. Not working meant this was all out of savings.. Costs to ship my stuff to the USA was $5000 - This is expensive.. very expensive.
Landing in the USA - there was no issue with entering the country - all my paperwork was correct, there was a declaration on my medical report that I was a trans woman, but that proved no issue and only resulted in the border guard making a phonecall to their physician to 'check it was all ok'??.. On arrival I had to get married (we did that at a court house for $400, plus the licence fee $200 in December) and then apply for my permanent residence status (green card) - that costs $1400 .. and, 12 months later it still had not processed. It should process soon - and until it does I have the status of a 'non-resident alien' despite the fact I am married to a US citizen, work a job, own a car and house and have a MN driving licence.. It does mean, however, that the Federal government takes 30% of my earning in tax..... hmmm wonder why it takes so long to get my green card?
Culturally you would think the US and UK to be close - and they are - but they are not the same. I have had quite the eye opening experience in learning how to be part of this culture. The differences are subtle but they are differences and it jars with you as the 'alien' as it is not how you think things should work.. It is every aspect of society this impacts, from saying hello to people ('how ya doin?' as opposed to 'how are you today?'..) to the complexities of medical healthcare systems and the dreaded DMV.. I love America, I am glad I live here - but heck, it certainly isn't Britain. I would not want to go back, this is my home now and I am very happy but I am amazed at how much the differences impinge on how the society works and in how you as an individual fit into it. This is cryptic, but I certainly understand why America is the land of the free.. Just to pick up another point in your last post - I never wanted to change my husband or get him to 'do things' for me - that is not how relationships or love work - you fall in love with the person - warts and all. you don't try and model them into your ideal - because that is your ideal and not who they are.. Control and manipulation of another person will only result in disappointment and disillusionment for both of you. I doesn't sound like love..
What I am rambling on about is - You have to have a bond with this person, a love that is unshakeable.. Because immigration is tough, it is especially tough on the person immigrating and leaving their culture behind - If I had to learn a new language, I think I would still be struggling now.. and this is between western cultures - not disparate ones such as yours. The cost is enormous. The time to get it all processed immense.. seriously - this is not something to do on a whim or for a relationship that you 'see where it all goes'.. you need to be making a commitment to your soul mate, the person for whom you would gladly die to save their life. I would go through this process again for my husband - I would walk through fire for him if I needed to - but I would not do this for anyone else.
You asked about practicalities of relationships with a trans woman - well that is easy to deal with - trans women are women - simple. All the complications that occur in relationships happen just the same - I get upset with him leaving his sneakers in the bathroom, not closing cabinet doors and generally being a slob.. LOL.. it is all the same as any other normal relationship. As for ageing, again, there is nothing special about being a trans woman as opposed to a woman - they are the same - we get old, we get grey hair's and wrinkles - we love grandkids and we get crotchety..
I rarely give out advice - but reading through your last post, I get the distinct impression that your relationship would not survive very long, down this arduous road. My advice would be to keep each other as friends, to keep what you have but allow the romance, the partnership and the relationships to evolve with other people. I wish you both luck in whatever direction your journeys now take you. take care.