Hair is a key part of femininity – because women usually make more of their hair than men, tending to wear it longer when they are younger and shorter as they are older. Women style their hair in a feminine way, while men style theirs in a masculine way, so hair is yet another badge of gender, which is why it is important in the trans world. Hair is used to send messages that cannot be said, the way it is cut and worn giving away a multitude of clues we learn to read without ever realising we know the language thanks to our scripts (upcoming in my blog.)
If you are trans, then hair is somewhat easier if you are FTM than MTF. The gender police won't be on your case so much and after various celebrities have thoroughly explored the boundaries, even a crew cut will catch no more than a few glances. We have a friend who actively describes herself as a butch lesbian who has had a number two since we first met, long ago. I've never heard anyone of any sex question it.
So this piece is mostly for assigned male at birth (AMAB including intersex if they decided you were a boy without asking) and MTF people who are exploring gender expression through hair.
If the world were otherwise, the easiest way to do hair would be to grow it out, but that isn't possible for all of us. Maybe you are on the beginning of your journey and just want to see how you feel with feminine hair? Maybe you can't wear your own long for social or work related reasons? Maybe you don't have enough of your own hair to grow it long? It doesn't matter, because modern wigs provide a solution.
As with bra bands, sizing is all with wigs, but the good news is that there are fewer sizes. The less good news is that many wigs are only made in one size and if you have a large or small head, the choice becomes more limited, but the market is so competitive there is still a choice.
Spoiler: You cannot be trans unless you own a cloth tape. It is how it is. So your first step into your future is buying one, or failing that, liberating one from a relative.
In theory, you need to make three measurements with a cloth tape to work out your wig size. The first is
circumference, starting with the tape running from your hairline at front (or where your hairline was) down at an angle so bottom edge of the tape just touches where your ear blends into your scalp and – maintaining the angle so the tape is straight – down to the nape of your neck. This is the widest circumference of your head and will be most accurate with the tape pulled tight to your scalp.
The second measurement isn't quite so useful, but as easy to do – measure from the place where the top of your ear joins your scalp over the top of your head to the same place on the other ear. Do this a few times with the tape at about 15 or 20 degrees to the vertical and take the longest measurement. In theory your tape should pass over what is sometimes called the 'top head point' which is said to be 7 in back from your hairline is or was at the front. This is called the
ear to ear distance.
The third measurement is another less used one and is the distance
front to back. Start at the centre of your hairline (again, this may be where you remember it once was) and measure directly over the top to where your back hairline is. Which, if you don't have one of those either, will be the bottom edge of that firm boss of bone at the base of your skull at the back.
The best explanation of these measurements I have seen is on a site called
wigs.com, but while the rules here say external links cannot be quoted in posts, you should be able to find it. I will put it in if the mods say it's okay.
My circumference is 23.5 in, my front to back is 14.25 in and my ear to ear is a little over 13.5 in. Now find a wig size chart on the web or use the one on
wigs.com. You'll see on most charts I take large on circumference, average/large on ear to ear and average on front to back. In practice, this means I can wear average wigs from ranges which have generous sizing, or built in stretch, but will need a large in some other ranges.
How can you tell if a wig is a good fit?This is not as easy as it sounds. Even if you have accurate measurements of your head, products vary enough you can end up in the same situation as you can with bras, where the size should fit, but does not.
With a wig on (if you have longish hair already, buy a 'wig cap' and pull it on before putting on the wig), the front hairline of the wig should sit at your own front hairline. The back hairline of the wig – where the wig hair is attached to the base of the wig, aka the cap – should lie over your back hairline.
If you pat the top of your head through the wig, there should be little or no slack, and the wig should sit with the shaped sides just clear the tops of your ears.
Wigs are built on their own 'cap' which – if you look at a wig from the front – includes two side panels which run vertically down your temples before the lower edge of the cap turns a right angle backward to provide a more or less straight edge above the ear. These panels are called 'ear tabs'. Behind them, the cap swoops down around the nape of your neck.
In a properly fitted wig, the ear tabs shouldn't curl outward in front or at the bottom, so if you can see your own hair under them, the wig is too small. A little bit of curl is fine but too much and the wig is too tight. Most wigs have adjustable straps at the nape, but if you need to do more than minor adjustments with them, your wig is the wrong size.
I found my wig size by trial and error, but these days, if you are starting out, you are better ringing around, finding a sympathetic dealer and going in person for a fit.
Wigs have a terminology all of their ownI'm looking at a product here billed as 'Adriana smart lace mono wig', and another (a personal favourite, the Flirt Alert) whose product description is, 'Temple to temple sheer lace front, monofilament part, memory cap base, ultra thin adjusters, velvet lined extended nape.'
What does this mean?
All 'lace front' means is that a wig has a sheer cap at the forehead, extending to the ear tabs, in the form of a very fine net with tiny holes through which the 'hair' of the wig is knotted. On every lace front wig I own (don't ask how many) the lace part looks to be made of synthetic fibre and so is non-stretch. Lace fronts provide a very natural look, so good, it is hard to improve upon.
'Monofilament' part means the wig has a parting made of the same sort of material as a lace front. Once again, these look very natural, whether they lie over hair or hair trapped under the pull on caps which most retailers sell to wear under wigs.
'Memory cap base' or other marketing words to that effect means the remainder of the cap of the wig is made from an elasticated net. In the Flirt Alert, this is an order of magnitude coarser than the lace front, but is extremely forgiving stretch-wise – one reason why I can wear this wig in a medium. With the wig in your hand, the elasticated net looks coarse, but it doesn't show through when the wig is on. There are things I would improve about the Flirt Alert, but the basic design is excellent and it is low maintenance. Run your fingers through it and go.
At the nape of the neck, all wigs have a wide band to hold them in place and stop them riding up, which is what 'velvet lined extended nape' is all about. This feature is there in all the wigs I have owned and the nape usually has adjusters built in.
As far as the 'hair' on wigs goes, most often this is monofilament although some use human hair. Human hair wigs are extremely expensive. You can buy wigs in a vast range of colours and lengths and most hold their style well.
A perfectly fitted wig will stay put in normal wear around the house, but the moment you do anything more active – including pulling clothes off over your head – it will may shift. Welcome to wig tape, the use of which is an art in itself and works best when attaching a wig to a bare scalp.
Good news for anyone whose journey began after their hairline began retreating, less good news if you have a full head of hair. In that case, your options include wearing a 'wig grip' hairband under the wig, silicone sheets which sew onto the cap of your wig, wig clips, bobby pins or whatever.
Styling and wig careYou can cold style wigs but be wary of using heated curler tongs on anything other than human hair wigs because monofilament does not play well with heat. If you are wearing a wig, even opening the door of a hot oven can sometimes be enough to lightly crinkle the front hair, so learn to stand back when you bake!
Some monofil wigs are sold as 'heat resistant,' which theoretically means you can use temperature controllable curling tongs at the lower settings, but everything depends on how accurate the temp is on the tongs, so your mileage may vary. I've had bad results with a wig that was branded heat resistant.
Wig holding sprays are available and don't forget that techniques like back brushing to create volume work with wigs as well as they do with human hair. One thing you may not be able to do with anything except a full cap lace wig is to put up a high ponytail, but again, this varies from wig to wig.
Looking after wigs includes washing them about every seventh extended wear, which is best done in cool water with wig shampoo and revitaliser. Do not use hot water, because it can harm the wig. Afterward, let the wig drip dry on a wig stand – if you like, you can put in curlers wet, which is very often the easiest way of styling a wig.
One major point – don't accidentally buy a 'hairpiece' or a 'piece' instead of a wig. Read the product description three times and ask if you aren't sure, because especially at the cheaper end of the range, you will find hair extensions mixed in with wigs.
Where to buy wigs?Amazon is the default for everything and there are some very cheap wigs available there, so if you are just beginning to explore, it's a great option. Wigs on Amazon begin at less than £20 which is only $25 so you cannot lose.
Give a thought to specialised wig suppliers though, because the best offer a stunningly wide choice of good quality, long lasting products. I'm browsing an online supplier right now where wigs begin at £80 (roughly $100). At £120 ($160) the ranges really begin to come onstream with some attractive options available, although mostly in shorter lengths. At £150 ($200) I'm seeing really nice wigs with mono partings, but lace fronts don't start much below £200 ($260).
The Flirt Alert is around £330 ($440) dollars, but often available on discount and worth saving up for. My other favourite is the even more expensive Upstage hand-tied mono wig, which is also a Raquel Welch branded product... but that is an eye watering £430 or nearly $575. Again, it is often available on discount, but it looks amazing on and if I ever grow my hair out, its style is the one I'd choose. Human hair wigs? I'm afraid to type the prices, but the basic message is that whatever your budget, be it $25 or $2500, there is a wig out there for you.
If anyone has any questions or suggestions, reply to this. I thrive on feedback.
