Surgery

[WendyPeer]

Hello, I have a real issue  with the cause and effect of transexual surgery, and how when we undertake it, the influence it has on our behavior. It seems many who have transexual surgery feel sex with them is worth a lot of money, and how often trans women may feel by transitioning they have achieved something that is worthy of an income from sex. I am a Transexual woman, and may date for money, but that is as a woman, not a direct end to my being surgical. I feel that "the look" trans women try to achieve is less important than our medical records being in sync, and our legal records, and vital statistics, being in accordance with a status quo. Transgender women, like myself, have to be real people, we have to work, love, and keep our appointments. There is no reason why Trans women have to over expose to sell their bodies, or live under a feakish calling that makes us one to live under a norm of pathology, or psycho pathology.

[Sarah B]

Hi Wendy

You mentioned in your post above and I quote:

Hello, I have a real issue  with the cause and effect of transexual surgery, and how when we undertake it, the influence it has on our behavior. It seems many who have transexual surgery feel sex with them is worth a lot of money, and how often trans women may feel by transitioning they have achieved something that is worthy of an income from sex. I am a Transexual woman, and may date for money, but that is as a woman, not a direct end to my being surgical. I feel that "the look" trans women try to achieve is less important than our medical records being in sync, and our legal records, and vital statistics, being in accordance with a status quo. Transgender women, like myself, have to be real people, we have to work, love, and keep our appointments. There is no reason why Trans women have to over expose to sell their bodies, or live under a feakish calling that makes us one to live under a norm of pathology, or psycho pathology.

It needs to be said I'm not 'trans' anything and I have never been 'trans'.  To assume that everyone who goes through surgery is 'trans' whatever is wrong.  Why?  Those terms were not around when I changed my life around.  In addition those words are a way of putting one down.

I underwent surgery nearly 34 years ago, my reasons were personal, rooted in the need to live and function fully as any other female does in society.  Many other individuals in similar situations undergo surgery to find comfort with their true gender identity, though my experience did not involve any gender dysphoria, rather than for monetary or social gain[1][2].  My choice to keep my past private is about my own comfort and desire for stability, not secrecy.

For me personally, I faced a long period without being able to fulfil any meaningful relationships due to the barrier in being able to express myself as any other female would be able to express themselves in growing up.  This kind of experience is common, not because of any choice to isolate, but due to societal stigma[3][4].  Society often overlooks that women like myself simply seek a life where our identity and legal status reflect who we are.  Rather than a sensationalized version that unfairly links women like me to stereotypes, assumptions or certain professions.  Trust me I'm no shrinking violet.  I know with what I have, I can get as many of those I want.  However, that is not me.  My experience in life is no different from the vast majority of females who go about their normal daily life.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
[1]  American Psychological Association, Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Gender Diverse Individuals.
[2]  Coleman, E., et al. (2012). Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People, Version 7. International Journal of Transgender, 13(4), 165-232.
[3]  Lev et al., Gender Diversity and Health
[4]  Transgender Emergence: Therapeutic Guidelines for Working with Gender-Variant People and Their Families by Arlene Istar Lev (2004)

[Allie Jayne]

Hello, I have a real issue  with the cause and effect of transexual surgery, and how when we undertake it, the influence it has on our behavior. It seems many who have transexual surgery feel sex with them is worth a lot of money, and how often trans women may feel by transitioning they have achieved something that is worthy of an income from sex. I am a Transexual woman, and may date for money, but that is as a woman, not a direct end to my being surgical. I feel that "the look" trans women try to achieve is less important than our medical records being in sync, and our legal records, and vital statistics, being in accordance with a status quo. Transgender women, like myself, have to be real people, we have to work, love, and keep our appointments. There is no reason why Trans women have to over expose to sell their bodies, or live under a feakish calling that makes us one to live under a norm of pathology, or psycho pathology.

I guess this post highlights how we see our worlds. I'm also guessing the majority of people here are not involved with sex work, and those who pursued surgical transition, did so for reasons of personal peace.

Wendy, I can't comment on the attitudes of post surgery trans people in your field, and I will accept what you are saying, but please realise there are a world of people in different situations here, from young people to us oldies, all trying to find a life worth living. Some of us are incredibly lucky to have personal and social support, many sacrifice everything they love to find peace, and too many are totally denied opportunity. The young people I have met who have transitioned have simply wanted the align their bodies with their self image, and then to pursue a more stereotypical life. The cause and effect of surgery for most of us is simply to find peace.

Hugs,

Allie

[Asche]

Hello, I have a real issue  with the cause and effect of transexual surgery, and how when we undertake it, the influence it has on our behavior....

(Emphasis mine.)

Please do not include me in your "we."

I transitioned to escape from the expectations placed on people gendered "male", and I got SRS to make me feel at home with my body.  I have always felt something like shame about my genitals, and when I woke up from surgery and felt down there, even with the dressings and the catheter, it felt so good to have a rounded shape instead of that thing.  I no longer need to dissociate when I look at that part of me in the mirror.  I feel like I can change clothes in a women's locker room and not feel like an intruder.  I walk around my apartment nude and feel okay about it.

It has nothing to do with sex.  (Well, I am a little intrigued as to how it might feel to have PiV sex, but I haven't ever seen a man that might make me feel safe enough to try it.)  In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm on the ace spectrum.

[Lori Dee]

I guess this post highlights how we see our worlds. I'm also guessing the majority of people here are not involved with sex work, and those who pursued surgical transition, did so for reasons of personal peace.

 
This.

I know quite a few post-op transgender women and not one of them is involved in sex work. The majority of them are married or in a committed relationship. Of those who are single, many of them are not sexually active, and the ones who are, date as women and not for money.

From my experience, there are not "many" post-op women who engage in sex work. I am sure that some do, but I don't move in those circles so I do not know any of them.

[SoupSarah]

I tend to agree with the others here.. I don't personally know or have known anyone who identifies as trans and is in sex work - I have heard of such people and of all of those they all were male prostitutes first and found transitioning not only good for themselves, but financially uplifting. I think, therefore, that you sort of have to be 'in that game' before and no-one would actually think of transitioning to start doing that... The majority of cis-women do not turn to prostitution, as the majority of trans women don't either..