The greatest change being a tg female

[Sephirah]

I love your posts Bobbie but I cannot agree with your viewpoint on this with regards to others. Perhaps for yourself but you are still falling into a very binary way of thinking. Not only sex but also gender are nowhere near as black or white as you think.

It's also very looks driven if you don't mind me saying. You once told me face to face that you did not believe anyone who is tall can transition gender from male to female!

There are so many shades of sex and gender on physical, mental, emotional, hormonal levels. I could give you myriad of examples of 'females' who are massively more male than 'males' and vice-versa.

I'm glad you are at peace with yourself though and it works for you.

xx

Yeah I kind of agree with this. And this is where a lot of my confusion comes from. I also know a lot of women who aren't stereotypically feminine, and vice versa, but it never occurs to them to question anything. And you have to ask why. It sometimes feels like people place more stock in how they are than who they are.

[Allie Jayne]

We all have our own vision of gender, and it is all valid, but we can't apply that to others. It is personal, individual, and how we see society and ourselves. Some of us are spiritual, some clinical, and most somewhere in between, and we need to find peace with our own identity.

Because I am quite clinical in my approach, the way I see myself seems to make many trans people uncomfortable as it challenges their own personal identity, and I have been attacked online for expressing my feelings. But I know they are specifically mine, and I expect people to have their own, and we all respect each others opinions.

I was born with an incongruent gender identity and late in my life I needed to treat it as the conflict was affecting my health. For lack of a better description, I have accepted transgender female as my identity, that is what is written on my government medical records, and it works as I have both female and male medical needs to be funded by our health system. I have gynaecological care and regular prostate monitoring (slightly enlarged) which needs to be funded, and this doesn't make me uncomfortable. But I know many are not comfortable with such things, and it's OK, I respect their beliefs. Many of us see the world as quite binary and clutch onto boxes, but I see the world as 8.5 billion individuals, each having their own individual self image, and every one is valid.

Hugs,

Allie

[Sephirah]

but I see the world as 8.5 billion individuals, each having their own individual self image, and every one is valid.]

Is that what we're up to now? Good lord. Agent Smith was right.

"I'd like to share a revelation I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with their surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to another area, and you multiply, and you multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague, and we are the cure."

[Tills]

I was watching the women's tennis highlights just now from the Australian Open. Elena Rybakina was playing and I was reminded that she is 6 ft 1 inch + tall or around 1.86m.

I've met a number of eastern European women of similar height, including one in fact inside the foyer of PAI, where I know @warlockmaker has made some wonderful donations for others. This young lady in question was very tall: I would say a good 1.87m, perhaps more. I don't like this looks obsession about trans women (which does tend to bedevil Thailand by the way) but most objective people would probably say that she looked absolutely stunning. In light of the original post I also feel compelled to point out that many cis women would be angry and / or hurt to find their sex and gender identity reduced to reproduction. There are many cis females who either cannot or will not have babies. There are a significant number who in later life have had their so-called female signifiers altered by life-saving surgeries who are no less female because of it.

You're female if you know you are female.

Not because someone else holds you up to some Venusian ideal of their own imagination.

[Sephirah]

You're female if you know you are female.

This. This is what every cis woman knows and why they don't even think about it. And what I think Trans women sometimes need to understand. It's not about how you act, what you do, how you speak, how you dress, or anything else. It's the canvas you paint your life on, it's not the picture you paint or the colours you use. This is why I get confused sometimes by threads like this.

I keep banging on about this woman, but Floor Jansen... lead singer for a metal band called Nightwish. She's 6'1, and has no qualms about wearing heels. She's tattoed, and gorgeous, and lives on a farm where her days consist of looking after her kids and piledriving in fence posts. She has more muscle than I do, lol.

You're a woman because you're a woman. That's like the default. That's what everything else springs from. What kind of woman you want to be, that's entirely up to you. Girly girl, tomboy, anything in-between. It's utterly your choice. But it all springs from the same place. Want to make dresses, go nuts. Want to make muscle cars, knock yourself out.

Gender only stops being an issue when you stop thinking it's an issue. What other people think, that's on them.

[warlockmaker]

I love your posts Bobbie but I cannot agree with your viewpoint on this with regards to others. Perhaps for yourself but you are still falling into a very binary way of thinking. Not only sex but also gender are nowhere near as black or white as you think.

It's also very looks driven if you don't mind me saying. You once told me face to face that you did not believe anyone who is tall can transition gender from male to female!

There are so many shades of sex and gender on physical, mental, emotional, hormonal levels. I could give you myriad of examples of 'females' who are massively more male than 'males' and vice-versa.

I'm glad you are at peace with yourself though and it works for you.

xx

I am learning each day and trying to keep a very open mind. As a mother/father with female children i find myself very protective. Appearances do matter in certain situations, the restroom is one. I guess the Asian men are less muscular, less body hair, shorter and if they change the acceptance is much easier.

I'm sorry if this offends. I really believe it take time for society to accept changes. Western society wants everything to happen fast, Asian society takes its time. Today, in the day we legalize same sex marriage in Thailand. But we are still waiting to change our male ID to female.

[davina61]

Well my brain has always been "different" , biggest change for me was having to sit for a wee!!!!

[Lori Dee]

Well my brain has always been "different" , biggest change for me was having to sit for a wee!!!!

I think that was the smallest change for me. After surgery, (I have a titanium plate in my neck), I am not able to look down. That makes "aiming" more difficult, so I just started sitting. Fifteen years later, I started transitioning. 

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

You do not have to accept the label 'Transgender'.   The word was not around when I changed my life around.   I understand its meaning in today's lexicon.   I totally reject the term 'Transgender' and some more reasons as to why are as follows.

You're female if you know you are female.

and

This.  This is what every cis woman knows and why they don't even think about it.

and

For fourty odd years, it was not in my vocabulary and why I don't think in 'Transgender' terms.

If you don't want to be 'Transgender' then you do not have to be.   Georgie Stone an Australian who said in "The Dreamlife of Georgie Stone" a Netflix documentary on her.  Explicitly says at 17:50 tearfully, "I don't want to be trans".   That in itself says it all.   She has grown up with the label, she knows fundamentally that she is female and nothing else.

The following is the full transcript of the segment starting at 17:50

[tearfully]
I don't want to be trans
But it is who I am, so I can't really
I try not to think about,
"Oh I wish I wasn't trans"
I am trans, and I have to live with it.
And I will have to live with it all my life.
I don't want this operation to change anything
'cause I'm really happy.  [sniffles]
And, yeah, I don't have the body that I want,
but I'm still female.
And I just don't want this operation to change who I am [sniffles]
Obviously, I want it to change my body, but I don't want it [swallows]
I don't want it to change people's perceptions of me.
I don't want it to change how I live my life and [sniffles]
I still want to be Georgie.

From my perspective and drawing on Georgie Stone's candid story.  It encourages autonomy in self-identification and affirms the validity of seeking a life beyond labels.  At the same time, I recognize that others may find strength and empowerment in the "transgender" label, and I respect that deeply.  Both perspectives can coexist, reflecting the diversity and complexity of our community.

I'm with you Georgie Stone.   You are not 'Transgender' you are a female through and through.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Tills @Sephirah
PS Georgie Stone Biography
PSS  Georgie Stone had surgery in July 2018.  She was 18.

[Lilis]

I don't want to be trans
But it is who I am, so I can't really
I try not to think about,
"Oh I wish I wasn't trans"
I am trans, and I have to live with it.
And I will have to live with it all my life.
I don't want this operation to change anything
'cause I'm really happy.  [sniffles]
And, yeah, I don't have the body that I want,
but I'm still female.

Sarah, I completely agree being female isn't about having the perfect body, it's something known deep within the individual. I believe it's immaterial, just as Tills described: "You're female if you know you are female". And as Sephirah beautifully put it, "This is what every cis woman knows, and why they don't even think about it". I am of the opinion that identity is something we feel at the core, beyond physical appearance or external validation.

I'm with you Georgie Stone.  You are not 'Transgender' you are a female through and through.

Sarah, from my perspective, you've been female from the very first time we connected in these forums.

~ Lilis

[Allie Jayne]

I think Georgie Stone accepts she is trans, and also a woman. The important thing is she is Georgie, and happy with that. We are short, tall, slim, plus sized, trans, cis, white, coloured, even left or right handed, and we don''t have to be happy about any of these things, but they are what they are. Being yourself is the key thing. You don't have to be happy with that either, so those who are, are lucky.

I don't want to be trans, I don't particularly want to be female, I just want to be happy. I think I have led a decent life, I've tried really hard to do the things I needed to, and looked after my loved ones to the best of my ability. While I am comfortable, I don't like my current life. I never felt completely comfortable in my previous life, but I had my soul mate to fill my life. Now I sit day after day on my own, knowing I will likely never have a partner again. I hate this. It wasn't my fault, it isn't fair, but it is what it is. I take some consolation that I am true to myself, and I have done my best.

If there was a red pill to give me back my previous life without dysphoria, I would inhale it! But there isn't, and I have to make the most of what I have got. Fitting into someone else's box is a negative I don't waste my time on, There are more important things to focus on.

Hugs,

Allie

[Sarah B]

Hi Lilis

You said:

Sarah, from my perspective, you've been female from the very first time we connected in these forums.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

It's not that I think I'm a female or a women.  I know I'm a female or women and I don't need to express it and I never had too.

I hope you find the peace you so richly deserve.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Lilis @Sephirah

[Lilis]

It's not that I think I'm a female or a women.  I know I'm a female or women and I don't need to express it and I never had too.

Yay... you know it, inherently and unquestionably!

Let's dance some more while we at it Sarah!

This kind of self-assurance is powerful, especially in a world that often demands proof of identity and authenticity.


~ Lilis 😊❣️

[ChrissyRyan]

Yes, so it is.

[Sephirah]

Sarah, from my perspective, you've been female from the very first time we connected in these forums.

Yeah I agree with this. Like completely agree with this. Sometimes you talk to people who just don't think about it other than how it relates to people they want to try and help. Sarah is one such person. She has the unique ability to be in the moment, outside the moment, but also understand the moment, as it relates to other people. And use that understanding to guide other people towards a lot of fundamental truths. She is very much the Hitchhiker's Guide to Transition.  Ford Perfect. <3

[Lori Dee]

She is very much the Hitchhiker's Guide to Transition.  Ford Perfect. <3

OK, that explains the towel. 

[Sarah B]

Hi Sephirah

You certainly know how to embarrass me good and proper, Sephirah and you too Lilis.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Sephirah
@Lilis

[Tills]

I am learning each day and trying to keep a very open mind. As a mother/father with female children i find myself very protective. Appearances do matter in certain situations, the restroom is one. I guess the Asian men are less muscular, less body hair, shorter and if they change the acceptance is much easier.

I'm sorry if this offends. I really believe it take time for society to accept changes. Western society wants everything to happen fast, Asian society takes its time. Today, in the day we legalize same sex marriage in Thailand. But we are still waiting to change our male ID to female.

Hi @warlockmaker thanks for this. It's really encouraging about the progress in Thailand. Some good things happening:

https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/01/28/thailand-health-ministry-trans-hrt/

xx