If you do NOT plan to have GCS are you simply a cross dresser?

[ChrissyRyan]

The majority of gender diverse people never transition, some because they don't have the opportunity, some due to fear of losing loved ones, and some who never learn or admit to themselves that they are diverse. Of the minority who actually transition maybe more than half don't have surgery. In most countries, it is just not available or affordable.

Few of us recognise we are trans early in life, so we spend decades evolving. We often mistakenly think we are faulty, conflate the euphoria of affirmation as sexual, some get the opportunity to dress affirmingly, fewer get the opportunity to actually medically transition, and the very lucky ones can 'pass'. As our journeys progress through this evolution, we may adopt many designations, but really, most are transitory and don't actually describe us.

So few achieve self realisation as our self image, so the rest of us are left with winding up somewhere along that evolutionary path, mostly not fitting any designation. These 'boxes' we try to fit into cause us more pain than gain, so I say, Why Bother? We are perfectly ourselves, no matter what anybody else says. Those designations go on and out of fashion, meaning completely different things from one decade to another. They are not us, ever.

Chrissy, as Sephirah said, 'you are who you are', and much loved on this forum! No matter what, that won't change!

Hugs,

Allie

That makes sense Allie.  Thank you.

Chrissy

[Mariah]

This is one of the those cases that when I first saw the first post in the thread I was bit furious when I saw it. However, I felt I needed to let my own feelings simmer a bit while learned more what resulted in the question in the first from you. As much I'm not found of the question, it is a valid question to ask to try to understand things better even if it is just for understanding and clarification to get a better understanding of things that happen out there. A few different things come to mind that I hope may add to the clarity others have provided in regards to this.

Over the years in IRC/ Discord, a user has come and gone on there that I feel that user's story will help in some ways. She was forced to get the surgeries just to get the hormones and at any point she wavered on the surgeries the therapist and or doctors in her case attempted to withhold hormones. This has resulted in harm to her. It has resulted in bitterness and depression that to my knowledge she hasn't been able to move past despite many tries by myself and many others over time. It is true she transitioned a little bit ago, but was probably not much before sites like this one existed. Some care providers and people in general haven't moved beyond that thinking even today.

One such example of this is what my spouse went through when she first gave consideration about transitioning. This was during the late 2010's, but her first therapist still believed those old and outdated rules and beliefs. This resulted in my spouse not getting the right support from the therapist especially since my spouse started out non binary when she first transitioned. Took time and a new therapist for my spouse to be conformable to transition to non binary and then finally MTF, but non surgical which is where she is most comfortable. Now I strongly believe through my experience that case number one would have gone to that point where hormonally transition, but not surgically seeing a need in transition. Lastly, I feel it is time I share about myself and my story because it really goes to the point others have made in this thread.

My story starts back when I was born in the 70's. Back in the day they felt they had to make me look "Normal." This wasn't truly for my own good, but for those around me and the doctors who just couldn't handle someone looking different and had to force me into a box. I would have preferred they did nothing, but of course that option was long gone. Now eventually help fix that travesty I did transition and did have surgery down below which undid what had been done thankfully. What was done now I happy with despite my preferred option being taken away long, long ago. I was not happy being forced in a box back then. As much as I transitioned to female, a big element of me is still non binary because of my being intersex in the first and how that impacted my brain and body. It goes to prove boxes are not for all.

The key is just like boxes are not for all that how we transition and to the degree we due is unique to each of us. What I have always said to My spouse is for her to always be herself and I give that same advise to all. Always be yourself. It's true for medical, financial or even other reasons may impact the degree in which we can transition. However, at the end of the we need to be ourselves and do what we need to in regards what can and want to along with what label we want to use or not use. Anyways Chrissy I hope this helps.

I appreciate the clarification you have given in regards to the origin of the question and we can help give you and others that need it clarity. Hugs
Mariah

[ChrissyRyan]

Mariah,

You are really quite illustrative with the example and of your situation.  Thank you for sharing.  It is nice that you are here to help bring to mind what some of us experience, what you have experienced, and your taking time to do so is thoughtful, helpful, and appreciated.

I am trying to make each day a good one.  Some are a bit tougher than others but they are better than ever for the most part.  It is good to be around decent people, and that includes the many who visit here.

Hugs,

Chrissy