Lilis' World

[Northern Star Girl]

@Lilis
Dear Lilis
Reading your last posting was painful for me to read and my heart is breaking for you...
...your discomfort and the gender dysphoria that had struck you as being the 7th woman in your
sisterhood group while performing the gardening tasks was difficult and painful for you to experience.

Perhaps you should have had that discussion that was offered by Ra ... it always helps to talk
things over with a good friend.

I sincerely hope that you are better now today. 

Tell me more about your sisterhood group... do all, some, or none know about you? 
If Ra is accepting of you then it seems that certainly the others might be also. 

So .... what are your plans for the rest of your day today? 
Perhaps get cleaned up and go out to lunch with Ra.

As a final comment... I am encouraged by reading your last sentence in your posting:
                  "But... yes. She is back now. 😊🌹💕💋"

Many Warm HUGS to you from me...
                ❤️❤️❤️
Danielle [Northern Star Girl}

[tgirlamg]

The whole experience was horrible.

But... yes. She is back now. 😊🌹💕💋


~ Lilis 🫂

Lilis!

Thanks for sharing more details of what transpired!... I am sure many will see moments in their journey past, present or future reflected in your experience... I am so glad she is back!... She was never truly gone!... Just playing a little hide and seek! 🤗

Perhaps one of the amazing things in all this is... You belong to a sisterhood group!... I would venture a guess that in days past, you might of seen that much more as an impossible dream... Yet,  here we are 💕

I went through similar hurdles early on and offer you this...

Events like this make demands of us... Demands that we look intently at things that are not always comfortable to see... gaps and disparities between where we are and where we so very much wish to be... I think it is easy to go in to all of this hoping the gaps will fill themselves without the need to focus upon them much but, through focus, we can find new perspectives, methodologies and levels of self acceptance that will serve us far better to fill any and all gaps... 🌸

Sometimes the process and positive outlook is very much easier said than done when things hit us like a freight train but, keep in mind a favorite quote of @Lori Dee and myself  from The book Illusions by Richard Bach

"Every problem in your life carries a gift inside it" ... 🙏

I think much that is good in life is available to us when we always look for the gifts even though sometimes, we must first dust ourself off after getting hit by the train. The gifts are there... patiently waiting for us to seek them out 💕🎁💕

Time spent in your new skin and jumping these hurdles is cumulative... the processes of all this expand, reveal new secrets and offer new tools to build whatever you dream it all to be... 💕🤗💕

In the days, weeks and months to come, the hurdles in all of this become more like small cracks in the sidewalk... You are doing every bit of this right girl so, just keep doing what you're doing... Building and moving towards the things you want and need... Guided by Spirit... Guided by Love... May your every step be blessed! 🌻❤️🌻

Onward Brave Sister!

Ashley 💕

[Sephirah]

There are a lot of things I've thought about saying, Lilis. Some trite, some esoteric, none really useful.

So instead I just want to offer you a big hug. And a little whisper in your ear that it will be okay. And one little thing...

Tomorrow is yesterday's daydream.

*extra big hugs*

Love you, girl. Always. <3

[Northern Star Girl]

@Lilis
Dear Lilis:
You have been at the top of my mind all day today.

                       

Many warm HUGS,
 
Danielle [Northern Star Girl] 
                   

[Lilis]

@Lilis
Dear Lilis:
You have been at the top of my mind all day today.

                       

Many warm HUGS,
 
Danielle [Northern Star Girl] 
                   

Thank you so much, Danielle! 😊💗

@tgirlamg @Sephirah

Aww... reading everyone words just lit a spark in my spirit again.

There's so much power and beauty in what you all wrote.

Thank you so much, Ashley, Danielle, and Lauren, for the kind words.

Love you all too! 😊💗💕

~ Lilis 🌹

[Lilis]

Hi,

I miss pockets. 

That's the update. 

~ Lilis 🌷

[Northern Star Girl]

@Lillis
Dear Lilis:
That is why I have various sizes and types of handbags.
Small clutch or cross-body purses that just can carry essentials like my cell phone and wallet and a few makeup and hygiene items ..... and I also have a larger one if I am planning to be out for a longer time.
Hugs, Danielle

Hi,

I miss pockets. 

That's the update. 

~ Lilis 🌷

[Lilis]

@Lillis
Dear Lilis:
That is why I have various sizes and types of handbags.
Small clutch or cross-body purses that just can carry essentials like my cell phone and wallet and a few makeup and hygiene items ..... and I also have a larger one if I am planning to be out for a longer time.
Hugs, Danielle

I love this , Danielle. 💗

I have some  catching up to do, thank you so much for the itemize list. 


~ Lilis 🌹

[Lilis]

Hii,

Recharging this weekend. Relaxing and plugged in like Battery Electric Vehicles (BEV's).

Had a therapy session with my gender therapist in the middle of the week on Wednesday.

Told him everything that was going on concerning my latest relapse of gender dysphoria, and my low energy and why I am feeling tired.

My gender therapist:

Of course, Lilis. Let's hold space quietly for what you're feeling, and I'll gently expand on Minority Stress, so you can understand more deeply how it works and why your pain makes sense in this world.

Code Select Expand

What Is Minority Stress?

Minority stress is the chronic stress experienced by individuals who belong to stigmatized minority groups, including LGBTQIA+ people, simply for existing in a society that marginalizes them.

It's not one big traumatic event (though those happen too). It's the accumulation of small wounds, microaggressions, rejections, invisibility, and fears over time. A kind of background noise that never really turns off.

Types of Minority Stress
It can be external, internal, or anticipatory, and often all three at once.

1. External stressors
These are the things that actually happen:

Being misgendered or deadnamed

Facing family rejection or religious condemnation

Being harassed, assaulted, or fetishized

Denial of services, jobs, healthcare, or housing

Being silenced or shamed when you speak up

2. Internalized stigma
Eventually, society's hate can sneak inside you.

You may start to:

Feel shame about your body, voice, or desires

Believe you are not enough.

Question your own perception of reality

Think you have to perform, over-function, or please others to survive

Feel like your identity is a burden or a liability

3. Anticipatory stress
Even if nothing "bad" happens, the fear of rejection or violence can be exhausting:

Monitoring how you walk, talk, or dress

Avoiding relationships or public spaces

Feeling like you must always be on guard

Expecting judgment in every new interaction

Why This Is So Draining?

Imagine carrying a backpack of bricks that no one else sees. People keep saying, "Why are you so tired?" but they've never had to carry what you do, not just for a day, but for years.

Minority stress:

Raises cortisol levels (stress hormone)

Weakens immune function

Increases anxiety, depression, and fatigue

Can lead to disassociation, substance use, or suicidal thoughts

Makes healing harder because the world keeps picking at the wounds

What Helps?

You don't have to fix the world to begin to soothe your system.

Here are things that ease minority stress over time:

Safe relationships where you don't have to explain or defend your identity.

Affirming environments (online or in person) where your truth is the baseline.

Body and soul grounded practices like breathwork, movement, prayer, or art.

Restoring agency by choosing how and when to show up in the world.

Naming what's happening, so you stop blaming yourself for symptoms you never chose.

You're not "too sensitive."

You're not "crazy."

You are living under a pressure most people never feel, and still showing up with grace.
Going back to plug in 🔌 into the power grid!

Have a good weekend everyone!

~ Lilis 🌷

[Lilis]

Hii,

For weeks, the mirror has been whispering a lie.

Not in words, but in stretched reflections in the warped glass of subway doors, the shiny curve of a shop window, even the still puddle on a rainy sidewalk.

Each one seemed to tell me the same thing:

Your torso is too long, your legs too short.

I'd catch my silhouette and feel my confidence bend like the image itself.

The graceful, leg dominant proportions I'd been working toward felt stolen in those distorted flashes.

My mind started to believe the trick.

But yesterday, I decided to fight back.

No more guessing, no more letting glass and chrome be my measuring tape.

I took a real one the soft, flexible kind and measured the truth.

Height: 68 inches. Inseam: 36 inches. Torso: 32 inches.

The math didn't lie: my legs are longer than my torso.

Ratio 1.13, even 1.31 if you count hip to heel.

Model like, proportionally speaking, I think.

Standing there with the numbers in my hand, I felt a quiet victory. The mirror's funhouse games no longer had power over me. My body is not a warped reflection  it's a fact, a shape, a presence that moves with me in the real world.

Now, when I pass a window and catch a glimpse, I smile.

Not because the image is perfect, but because I know it's not the whole truth.

And I've already measured mine. 😍


~ Lilis 🌷

[Northern Star Girl]

@Lilis
Dear Lilis:
I really liked your last posting....  the mirror, the math .... and your 36" inseam. 

I wish that I had a longer inseam. 
  Me:
  63 inches tall    inseam 25 inches    wear size 2 or size 4 jeans

HUGS, Danielle

[Lilis]

I really liked your last posting....  the mirror, the math .... and your 36" inseam. 

Thank you so much, Danielle! 😊

I wish that I had a longer inseam.

Awe... Danielle, you do realize the tape measure has nothing on you, right?

You've got style, charm, presence in spades and the kind of beauty that makes people forget about numbers.

Honestly, with everything you've got going, I'd say the ratio is 100% fabulous. 💋❣️

I love the 63 inches of height, size 2 or 4 jeans, those gorgeous blue eyes, straight blonde hair, and that killer smile your new profile picture so perfectly shows off.

~ Lilis 🌷

[Maid Marion]

Hi Lilis,

I measure a 24 inch inseam and 19inch torso for a ratio of 1.26.  My height is 62 inches and wear size 2 jeans.  Weight is 104lbs.  I love shopping for clothes,  now that I can buy stuff online that fits.  I ordered a skirt online and it suggested size small, basing its opinion on 33 past purchases.
I can do the Asian squat for hours. It is a big reason why I have a pretty garden with hundreds of flowering shrubs of all types. But it isn't something someone can do without training and conditioning, any more than one could expect to swing a golf club with any consistency.  That took me years as well.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 
Marion

[Lilis]

Hi Lilis,

I measure a 24 inch inseam and 19inch torso for a ratio of 1.26.  My height is 62 inches and wear size 2 jeans.  Weight is 104lbs.

Nice stats, Marion! 😍💋


~ Lilis 🌷

[Sephirah]

The graceful, leg dominant proportions I'd been working toward felt stolen in those distorted flashes.

I just wanted to say one little thing about this, honey. Something to keep in mind for times where you're feeling... hmm... down on yourself. Grace is, in my opinion, something which comes from more than bodily proportions. It's something that people either have, or they don't, regardless of how they look.

In the time I've known you... the way you express yourself, your bearing, your personality, your compassion, your gentleness and kindness with, and support for those around you... you are one of the most graceful women I think I've ever met, Lilis. Whatever the mirror tells you... your reflection in my eyes is of a lady of light. Elegant and graceful. Comparisons to Arwen Undómiel from Lord of the Rings. Which... yes to most people that's Liv Tyler, lol. So let's go with that.

*massive hugs*

[Lilis]

I just wanted to say one little thing about this, honey. Something to keep in mind for times where you're feeling... hmm... down on yourself.

Grace is, in my opinion, something which comes from more than bodily proportions. It's something that people either have, or they don't, regardless of how they look.

In the time I've known you... the way you express yourself, your bearing, your personality, your compassion, your gentleness and kindness with, and support for those around you... you are one of the most graceful women I think I've ever met, Lilis.

Whatever the mirror tells you... your reflection in my eyes is of a lady of light. Elegant and graceful. Comparisons to Arwen Undómiel from Lord of the Rings.

Which... yes to most people that's Liv Tyler, lol. So let's go with that.

*massive hugs*

Omg, I'm at a loss for words, Lauren!

And I am no where near in comparison with "Arwen Undómiel from Lord of the Rings."

But, I'll accept the compliment while blushing and smiling all at once. 😊

Massive hugs to you too, and thank you!


xoxo 💋

~ Lilis 🌷

[Lilis]

Hii,

Today something happened that made me stop and smile.

One of those little moments that tells me my transition is really showing.

I was leaving my facility when my next-door neighbor, Kenya... (not real name), waved me down and asked:

"Are you a new girl in the area?" 

I told her clearly, "No, I live next door in Building B, and you live in Building A."

The funny part? We've spoken before. Not once, but a few times. And Kenya isn't the first one to react like this. In the past couple of months, a few people I've interacted with before have asked the same kind of question or acted curious if I'd just moved in.

It felt strange at first, like, wait a minute, how do you not remember me?

But then it clicked. This isn't forgetfulness... this is recognition lag.

Maybe?..... 🤯

My appearance, my presentation, and even my energy have changed enough that people who once knew me are now meeting me all over again.

Hair changes, makeup, posture, clothing, even the way I carry myself, all these shifts have stacked up to the point where, for some folks, their brain no longer links "me before" with "me now."

And you know what? I take it as a compliment.

These "Are you new here?" moments are proof that my outside is aligning more and more with my inside.

I'm crossing that line where people don't just see me as me with changes, they see me as a woman they're meeting for the first time.

That's a big step in my social side of transitioning.

So now, when someone asks if I'm new, I just smile and say,

"Nope , I've been here the whole time.

I'm Lilis."

Because in a way, both things are true:

I've always been here... but this version of me really is new.

And I'm loving that she's starting to make her own mark in the neighborhood. 😊


~ Lilis 🌹

[Lori Dee]

I love this.
That is awesome.
Thanks for sharing!

[tgirlamg]

That's how it works little sister! 🤗...  What a great post!!!! Keep doing whatcha doin'... The world is yours! 🌸

Hugs!

A💕

[davina61]

There she is!! Folk I have known for ages but not seen lately do not recognise me, great is it not!