Wearing clothing that reflects all of me

[Camille58S]

Lately I have been wearing outfits that I feel comfortable in. By comfortable I mean outfits that express my gender identity. I'm transgender. I've tried to narrow it down in terms of labels, but it changes on a weekly basis! Bi-gender feels right most of the time. I have strong feelings of both male and female identities.
So how do you express that! Some days I'm all Carhartts and work boots, and the next, I'm black faux leather leggings and  a tunic!
I have found a good way of honoring both sides of me. I always have something from both sides of the closet on at all times. Underdressing is a given, but I need something visible to feel right. Leggings work. So do women's sweaters. Shaved and moisturized legs help to feel right.
My question is-  how do you express yourself? Do you incorporate your female side when in boy mode? I'd love some tips and discussion on this subject!

[Lori Dee]

Lately I have been wearing outfits that I feel comfortable in. By comfortable I mean outfits that express my gender identity. I'm transgender. I've tried to narrow it down in terms of labels, but it changes on a weekly basis! Bi-gender feels right most of the time. I have strong feelings of both male and female identities.
So how do you express that! Some days I'm all Carhartts and work boots, and the next, I'm black faux leather leggings and  a tunic!
I have found a good way of honoring both sides of me. I always have something from both sides of the closet on at all times. Underdressing is a given, but I need something visible to feel right. Leggings work. So do women's sweaters. Shaved and moisturized legs help to feel right.
My question is-  how do you express yourself? Do you incorporate your female side when in boy mode? I'd love some tips and discussion on this subject!

My go-to is earrings. Played down, I just wear studs. When I'm dressed to kill, then it is big hoops.

[KathyLauren]

I only know one person in real life who is bigender.  She presents as fully masculine when in boy mode, and fully feminine when she is in girl mode.  Her expression is quite binary: she is always one or the other, never both.  She is in the military (Canadian), so she wears male uniform in boy mode and female uniform when in girl mode. 

Personally, I am quite binary female-only, so boy mode never comes up any more.  But when I was transitioning, I would present like my friend does: either one or the other, never in-between.  Which gender I presented as depended on where I was going and what I was doing.

[Lilis]

Hi Camille58S,

I share some similarities with you but also have some differences. My gender identity exists on a sliding scale, with different intervals where one side becomes more dominant. This is commonly known as being genderfluid.

The challenge with gender expression is that it's so personal, what works for one person might not work for another.

I try to incorporate elements that feel authentic to my current identity while also considering what makes me comfortable in different settings. On some days, I fully embrace one side of my identity, while on others, I find myself balancing both, depending on how I feel.

[ChrissyRyan]

I do not put a lot of thought in what I should wear other than, "Is this right for what the day will bring?"  That is, is this a work day?  Is it a warm day?  Is this a special occasion?  What is the setting?  Formal, informal, or casual?  Those kind of thoughts.

Then I wear what I think will help make me look nice too.

Chrissy

[ChrissyRyan]

I will say it is wonderful waking up, feeling so natural in my pretty nightgown, and while making breakfast, in my warm, floral robe.  It is just a nicety that could be taken for granted after awhile until you again realize that you are living just the way it has always meant to be.

Chrissy

[Camille58S]

I agree! There is something about the last couple of hours of the day and the first couple of hours of the day! Women's nightwear feels wonderful then! There is nothing nicer than putting on a Nightgown and settling in with a good book!

[Camille58S]

All of that makes me wonder...
I described my awakening to this side of me in my introduction. How putting on a pair of panties moved me. It is so powerful! Why can't I identify it? I wear a pair of lace panties and I feel wonderful. I put on a dress and I feel weird. What the hell is that?! Maybe I'm just venting, but it is very real to me.

[ChrissyRyan]

All of that makes me wonder...
I described my awakening to this side of me in my introduction. How putting on a pair of panties moved me. It is so powerful! Why can't I identify it? I wear a pair of lace panties and I feel wonderful. I put on a dress and I feel weird. What the hell is that?! Maybe I'm just venting, but it is very real to me.

There are some mysteries in life.  We are all different.  Maybe you will gain some clarity on this. 

Chrissy

[Lori Dee]

I put on a dress and I feel weird.

I am the same way. I own one dress and seldom wear it. I don't have the legs for it. When I was a kid my aunt would babysit and she would call me "Knobby Knees". After more than a decade of gold prospecting and banging my legs on sharp rocks, I have quite a few scars too. So I think it is because I don't like to show my legs. I get comments from my neighbors when I wear shorts in the summer, so... yeah thanks for adding to my dysphoria, jerks. 

I have noticed that if I wear tights or stockings with the dress, I feel pretty good. Maybe that is something you can try to see if it changes how you feel. Stockings feel great on freshly shaved legs!

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

When I changed my life around I changed the clothes I wore, I dressed for comfort, in what I liked and in ways that reflected my female personality, while always dressing appropriately for the occasion.  I never worried or obsessed about what I wore either and I have my likes and dislikes.  They were just another part of my day to day routine of just living my life.

I now have more color in my life.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[Maid Marion]

My new shirt.

[Sarah B]

Hi Marion

My new shirt.

Me I like your new shirt.

Hugs
Sarah B

[Camille58S]

I like the shirt also! Love the sleeves!

[MsLeigh]

I will say it is wonderful waking up, feeling so natural in my pretty nightgown, and while making breakfast, in my warm, floral robe.  It is just a nicety that could be taken for granted after awhile until you again realize that you are living just the way it has always meant to be.

Chrissy

Chrissy,

We could be sisters on this topic. I love satin, lace, silks,.. A nighty is my favorite article of clothing. All kinds of colors are beautiful too. My satin flower robe or my fuzzy leopard robe are perfect to wear while cooking breakfast or lounging for an evening movie. I sleep so good in a frilly nightgown. It must affect my subconscious in a positive way.

My problem right now is I have stopped except for satin shorts. Dealing with a non approving spouse is not worth the negative turmoil.

Hugs,
Leigh

[ChrissyRyan]

Chrissy,

We could be sisters on this topic. I love satin, lace, silks,.. A nighty is my favorite article of clothing. All kinds of colors are beautiful too. My satin flower robe or my fuzzy leopard robe are perfect to wear while cooking breakfast or lounging for an evening movie. I sleep so good in a frilly nightgown. It must affect my subconscious in a positive way.

My problem right now is I have stopped except for satin shorts. Dealing with a non approving spouse is not worth the negative turmoil.

Hugs,
Leigh

You certainly do not want to have turmoil.  Enjoy wearing the shorts!

I do not that have a very frilly nightgown, but I do have lace or lace trim and both cotton / flannel and satiny ones.  I do not think it is real satin, but it is nice, shiny, and shorter as it hangs down to mid thigh.

I did have one that had a big bow but it really was a bit too frilly so I donated it.  I just did not feel comfortable wearing it but I suppose it would be appealing to some.  It seemed a bit over the top, not right for me.

A house robe is practical and is nice to wear after a shower.

[ChrissyRyan]

Flannel PJs can be both feminine and warm.

I suppose this sort of like pants vs. dresses. 
The nightgown is more like a dress but the pajama pants can look good on women, as can pants.