Some things you can do you could not do or experience before transitioning

[Jen T.]

Today, I went online with my daughter and we picked out two dresses for me. It was such a rush and I believe she had fun protecting me from my awful sense of style. It was the kind of good thing I never imagined happening. The hardest part about trying to be who I am: the person I used to be keeps getting in my way.

Oh my gosh what I would give for that experience. I know my daughter would have VERY strong opinions about what I should and shouldn't wear. 
I'm not out to anyone but my therapist yet, so I guess that's something to look forward to. 💕

[ChrissyRyan]

A CIS female friend or a further transitioned lady that has a sense of style can be helpful when clothes shopping.  If at a store, they can advise you if the outfit you desire is right for you, or if you should not buy it.

[ChrissyRyan]

I really enjoy visiting my hair stylist and talk and have her get my hair just right.

[D'Amalie]

I would not want a Brazilian or Hollywood wax though. 

I waxed for 7 years; the full monty.  I haven't had to shave underarms/legs/arms the last 3 years.  The Hollywood area hair is very fine and feminine now and only remains in the front.  Well worth the temp pain.  I think the HRT helped. The hair is just gone Either waxing or laser is the same cost in the long run.  Waxing just gives you that smooth sexy feel for longer I think.  I paid for my wife to get the laser hair reduction, and it was so so comparatively.

[ChrissyRyan]

I waxed for 7 years; the full monty.  I haven't had to shave underarms/legs/arms the last 3 years.  The Hollywood area hair is very fine and feminine now and only remains in the front.  Well worth the temp pain.  I think the HRT helped. The hair is just gone Either waxing or laser is the same cost in the long run.  Waxing just gives you that smooth sexy feel for longer I think.  I paid for my wife to get the laser hair reduction, and it was so so comparatively.

Agreed.  The nice, smooth feel is attractive.  For myself, I take care of that at home.

For my sweetie, she is amazingly soft and smooth.  Very nice. 



Chrissy

[Alana Ashleigh]

I waxed for 7 years; the full monty.  I haven't had to shave underarms/legs/arms the last 3 years.  The Hollywood area hair is very fine and feminine now and only remains in the front.  Well worth the temp pain.  I think the HRT helped. The hair is just gone Either waxing or laser is the same cost in the long run.  Waxing just gives you that smooth sexy feel for longer I think.  I paid for my wife to get the laser hair reduction, and it was so so comparatively.

I've been waxing for 2.5 years. I was waxing my entire body at one point, but had to stop due to how much it was costing me. It was so worth it to feel silky smooth for a few weeks. I just do my underarms, eyebrows, and bikini area now. I really miss having silky smooth legs. Hrt has helped with cutting down hair growth. When I get waxed, the hair is very sparse now.

[Tills]

What are some of the things you can do or experience now that you could not do or experience before transitioning?

I am not talking about using locker or bathroom facilities of your gender, but things you enjoy (or dislike if you wish to discuss those)?


Enjoyable thing example:  Having a door held open for you.

Example of something you may dislike:  Having to deal with "mansplaining."

I've decided to decline the limits you put on this thread for reasons below Chrissy.

One of the most important things to me is being able to use the Ladies.

I was violently sexually abused as a boy ... by a man.

Using the Ladies matters now more than anything to me. Surrounded by women. Girly chat. No men allowed. Touching up my lippy. Bliss. It's my Safe Space.

xx

[ChrissyRyan]

I've decided to decline the limits you put on this thread for reasons below Chrissy.

One of the most important things to me is being able to use the Ladies.

I was violently sexually abused as a boy ... by a man.

Using the Ladies matters now more than anything to me. Surrounded by women. Girly chat. No men allowed. Touching up my lippy. Bliss. It's my Safe Space.

xx

That is because one can often take for granted that as a woman, you can use these ladies' facilities, or should be able to do so.  Those reasons you state (for using the ladies') are so true. 

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

These are my answers to, "Some things you can do you could not do or experience before transitioning"

Things I Could Not Do Before

• Receiving female courtesies like having doors held open was not something I experienced.
• Being referred to with correct pronouns in social settings was not something I noticed or experienced.
• Wearing even basic nail polish was avoided.
• Wearing earrings was not something I was able to do.
• Wearing perfume or scented products freely was not something I felt I could do without judgment.
• I was not able to express myself freely or without restriction.
• Beauty treatments like eyelash tinting and eyebrow waxing were out of reach.
• Styling long hair in ways like; plaits, braids, buns, french rolls and other feminine styles was not possible.
• Carrying a handbag or purse openly was something I avoided out of fear of judgment or mockery.
• Wearing the full range of female clothes I wanted such as swimming costumes, skirts, blouses, dresses, shoes and similar articles was not something I could do.
• Being addressed by the proper title such as Ms, Miss or Ma'am did not happen.
• Using the proper toilet and locker room facilities was not possible.
• Participating in conversations or spaces meant for women including female-only gatherings was off limits.
• Being intimate with a partner in a way that felt right for me was not something I experienced.

Things I Could Do After I Changed My Life Around

• Female courtesies like having doors held open became common.
• I became aware of the correct pronouns used for me in social settings.
• Nail polish became a regular part of my appearance whenever I felt like it.
• Wearing earrings for the right occasion became part of my presentation.
• Wearing perfume or scented products became something I could do with confidence.
• Expressing myself without limitations became normal.
• Enjoying beauty treatments such as eyelash tinting and eyebrow waxing became part of my routine.
• Styling long hair however I liked became a normal part of daily life.
• Carrying a handbag or purse confidently became part of everyday life.
• Wearing any female clothing I wanted felt natural and unrestricted.
• Being addressed using the correct title felt affirming and respectful.  This was a very poignant one for me. It's Ms!
• Using the proper toilet and locker room facilities was finally a reality.
• Participating in female-only spaces and conversations felt natural and welcome.
• I was able to be intimate with my partner in a way that felt natural and emotionally complete.

The Reverse of the Above or Odd Ones Out

• Going topless was something I could do before but now I feel very concerned and conscious about it.
• Perspiration did not change in any noticeable way before or after.

.
I guess that seems to be the extent of the changes that occurred in my life.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[Maid Marion]

I couldn't go topless to the beach before social transition but I think I'd be comfortable wearing a two piece bikini if I were with some friends doing the same thing.

Before transition I'd routinely hold the door for female coworkers.  After they would hold the door for me.  There may be a message in that.

[ChrissyRyan]

I wore a one piece swimsuit covering my top for the first time last year.

A swim skirt contributed to my comforting as well as understanding people.


Chrissy

[Alana Ashleigh]

There was so many feminine things I was doing before I started transitioning, that are just normal things for me to do now. I don't think about them anymore: My morning and evening skin care, putting scented lotion on throughout the day, touching up my perfume halfway through the day, putting on a bit of makeup, etc.

[D'Amalie]

I've been waxing for 2.5 years. I was waxing my entire body at one point, but had to stop due to how much it was costing me. It was so worth it to feel silky smooth for a few weeks. I just do my underarms, eyebrows, and bikini area now. I really miss having silky smooth legs. Hrt has helped with cutting down hair growth. When I get waxed, the hair is very sparse now.

The answer my friend is ... Moisturize, Moisturize Moisturize...

[ChrissyRyan]

The answer my friend is ... Moisturize, Moisturize Moisturize...

I will second that suggestion!

Chrissy

[Lilis]

Hi,

I don't have to hide my boob's anymore! 


~ Lilis 🌷

[ChrissyRyan]

Hi,

I don't have to hide my boob's anymore! 


~ Lilis 🌷

Oh yes!  I very much enjoy having them. 

I admit to trying to emphasize them on some days by what I wear.

It took a while for me to me to try a push-up bra to give them more prominence as I still have a preference for not using hip pads, breast inserts, etc. 

I certainly do not want to hide them although they are relatively small.  But they are what they are!  Most days I do not wear a push-up.

Chrissy

[Courtney G]

Although I'm publicly closeted, I still have daily experiences that affirm my gender.

Things I enjoy doing now:

Looking at myself in the mirror and actually liking my body

Brushing my long hair away from my face with my fingers

Choosing a bra to wear pretty much every day (I can't use the padded/pushup ones until sweatshirt season!)

Involuntarily putting my arm over my boobs when I go to run across a parking lot in order to cut down on the soreness (I'm a full 36C)

Looking down as my hairless thighs, chest and belly and reduced hair on my arms (thanks, HRT!)

Getting to talk about feminine things and feelings with women I know, both cis and trans

Being able to cry very easily and for a brief period. It can hurt but is often a source of relief

These things I cannot do:

Wear a tee shirt without making sure it's loose and I have a compression top on

Go swimming as a "man" - I never wanted to expose my body before transitioning, so this is no great loss, but I've only been swimming once so far as myself

Lift heavy things - I've lost a lot of strength

Get out of bed and head out the door without figuring out what I'm going to do with my hair