Hi everyone,
My wife introduced me to these forums a couple of weeks ago. After reading many posts, I've finally decided to join because everyone here seems to be very supportive and positive towards others and I feel like this is a great community where I can be open, free, and me. I look forward to sharing my journey and hear other's feedback.
I'm currently 39 and MTF from the US. I just came out to myself about a month and a half ago. I scroll ->-bleeped-<- a bit and have come across various positive trans posts here and there (not porn). I've always been open to anyone exploring their lives and what makes them happy, but felt that I was fine living the life that I was... until I came across a post that I had seen previously but not thought much about. It's a picture of a button and it said something along the lines of if you push this button, you can change genders, if you don't push the button you live your life as it is. And I thought to myself, sure, I'd push the button. I've had thoughts of wanting to be a woman plenty of times before, but never really thought of it seriously. I think mostly just curiosity about how it would feel. I've also felt like I'm more fem than masc most of my life and have had a few conversationswith my wife about it. Reading the comments on that post changed my life completely, finding out that most people never question their gender identity. I then thought about all the times in my life where I had questioned my gender identity, and turns out I've done so a lot more frequently than I'd realized. At that point, I did something scary, and decided I wasn't going to judge myself for being honest with myself and went over several questions, like
Are you comfortable being the gender you are?
Do you feel like who you are on the inside is the same you are on the outside?
There were more, but the last thing that really cemented things for me was "Do you feel like you're a woman in a man's body?". I think anyone reading this knows the answer.
It took a lot of reflecting and being honest with myself to come to these conclusions. I feel like I've had fleeting thoughts here and there through my life, but maybe I was just scared to answer them because I knew what the answer would be. I've always felt a bit insecure and unsure about who I am, and I think that's the reason why. I find the whole psychological situation fascinating, that we can hide something from ourselves for so long.
The following week, I continued to think on it daily, and the more I thought about it, the more happy and freeing it was. I always felt I was different but could never put my finger on what it was.
I guess I'll just wrap it here, otherwise I'll go on and on. I have a lot more to tell, and I look forward to posting more and engaging with this wonderful community ❤️
I haven't come up with a name yet, so for now I'll sign off with
same old new me
